Recently, Erica Campbell has been very vocal about her views on masturbation. She shared her view on the Breakfast Club asking the question where does God go during masturbation:
“I know some churches say for the brothas. ‘It’ll keep you from slipping up. Go ahead and handle yourself. I’ve heard some women say, ‘I take care of myself before I go out on a date…”
She went on to share the beauty of approaching everything that we do from a position of purity within our hearts:
“I think about purity and purity happens before the actual action of whatever you do. Whatever you watch, whatever you listen to, whatever you do with yourself. Your mind being in a place of purity is very crucial. But I think in our society today, everything is sexualized. You could be selling chicken and there will be a pair of boobs there. It’s just everywhere. So, I think guarding your mind and guarding your thoughts and treating sex and sexuality as something beautiful that God created that’s supposed to be beautiful and otherworldly and you come together with somebody and your lives come together. It’s not so cheap.”
Finally, she shared that she just doesn’t have to masturbate as she has a fine handsome husband to be sexual with. I just have to say, I love what she shared. Erica has always given me hope in the arena of love and relationships. I adore the relationship she has with her Hubs.
In one article that I read she shared that she doesn’t know what it’s like for the singles, but she has her husband. Well, as a woman, who is currently single. I wanted to show my agreement with the idea of not participating in masturbation as well. Masturbation is something that I’ve shared that I’ve been free from since the age of 12. However, that doesn’t mean that I’ve never been sexually tempted. I’ve simply gotten to a point where I know I don’t have to give in to it.
Most times when single believers are tempted toward an act of masturbation or any type of sexual impurity; it isn’t because of the act itself, but a deeper underlying issue. A single believer may feel unwanted, rejected, unloved or angry at God for allowing him/her to be single for so long with such a high standard of waiting for marriage to have sex. To fill a void or desire to feel loved; a person may participate in a sexual impurity whether it is masturbation, pornography, air-humping or fantasying. It’s just a real thing that single believers will have to overcome.
Once, the underlying issue is dealt with, it honestly becomes easier to wait in a place of purity to experience sex in the right way—the way God has ordained for it to happen between a husband and wife. The problem comes up when a person doesn’t believe s/he can be free from sexual impurity and so s/he makes excuses to continue in sin. Humility in consistently seeking the Lord about the issue that caused the sexual impurity along with humility in inviting others in who can help with correction, accountability, and encouragement in purity will assist in dealing with the underlying issue. Seeing ourselves as God sees us will resolve any issues within how we value ourselves or the lack thereof. The more secure we are in the Lord; the more sexually pure we will be.
We also have to learn to value getting to know God intimately over self-pleasure. The Bible warns that in the last days people will become lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God.
They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 2 Timothy 3:4 (NLT)
The Word of God shares that the pure in heart are those who hang out with the Lord. If we value this hanging out in the presence of the Lord more than having our flesh temporarily satisfied; we will also overcome the lusts of this world.
A psalm of David. LORD, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain? He who walks with integrity and practices righteousness, who speaks the truth from his heart, He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; Psalms 15:1-2
If we continue to read in the above chapter, there is a level of purity and un-mixture that we can get to in Christ. When we are struggling in our flesh it doesn’t seem that way, but it is possible and our reward for walking in obedience to God is more of his presence. There is a greater longing, fear, and sensitivity that comes on us in that place. It makes us want to resist our flesh and continue to fight the urge to satisfy our flesh in impure ways.
That’s something we have to guard against. Masturbation and sexual impurity cannot become an idol in our lives that we are looking to for acceptance, worth, value, or comfort more than God. That’s idolatry. It’s a perverted form of what God created to glorify himself. God created sex inside of marriage to bond the husband and wife to one another, not to bond us more with trying to please ourselves. The Word of God also warns against a self-seeking and wicked culture:
Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. – 2 Peter 3:3
Scoffers are those who despise the law, boundaries, or authority for their own selfish gain. God’s way is not like that. God tells us to submit ourselves to the process of being a living sacrifice holy and acceptable to him which is our reasonable service:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. – Romans 12:1-2
Finally, condemnation will keep believers in sexual sin. Condemnation is from Satan. It is used to make us feel as though we aren’t good enough to do things God’s way. We may be tempted to believe that holiness and purity are only for certain people because we may continue to mess up. However, the Word of God also says that a righteous man falls seven times, and seven times gets back up again. You have to keep seeking God to be free, putting up boundaries, and placing yourself in environments with godly community that will help you to overcome this area. God’s grace is available for those struggling with sexual sin. The Lord can keep us from falling in this area.
I am a personal witness. I’ve been delivered from fantasy lust for some years now. I remember God sharing with me one day saying, “You don’t need that crutch.” It was something I was using to still feel desired and wanted even though it seemed as though I was unwanted. I remember praying to the Lord saying, “I wish I was better for you. I wish I was stronger for you.” The devil will try to make you believe you aren’t good enough for God because you struggle with sexual impurity when the reality is you just need to be delivered from whatever is driving you to find comfort in the sin outside of God.
Leave a Reply