“Assault survivors respond differently. There’s no right or wrong way to react after being sexually abused. The assault can be so overwhelming that we may respond in three ways – fight, flee, or freeze.” ― Dana Arcuri, Author & Speaker

The Bible is a reliable record of real people, real events, real emotions, and some messy situations. Genesis 34 shows the reality of sexual assault, but also God’s hope through horrible circumstances, and what you can do to bring light to these dark situations. Let’s briefly look at Genesis 34 together and then talk about some practical ways this applies to us today. God commanded Jacob to return to Bethel (31:13) and then to his home where Isaac lived, which was Hebron (35:27). Instead, he stayed in Succoth and then settled near Shechem (Modern day Samaria). The name of the LORD is not mentioned once in this chapter; therefore, we see the consequences of when we don’t allow God to lead us, but instead, we lead ourselves. It is for that reason that we see carelessness (Gen. 34:1), defilement (Gen. 34:2 – 5), deception (Gen. 34:6 – 24), and vengeance (Gen. 34:25 – 31).

Carelessness
In Vs. 1, we see carelessness on the part of Dinah, but primarily on the part of her father, Jacob. There are many questions that arise from this situation: “Was Dinah naive? Rebellious? Ignorant of the land of the pagans? Why was it important she got to know the other women?” The greatest question though is, “Why did her father Jacob allow this?”

A lesson to parents is that you need to be involved with your child’s life; know their friends, what they’re doing on social media, what music and movies are influencing them, how they’re doing in school, and most of all, what their relationship with God is like. 

A lesson to children, those still under the authority of your parents, there will come a time that you launch into your own life and family, but that time is not now. Obey your parents, listen to the wise counsel of older Christians, and learn from their life experiences so you can mature leaps and bounds ahead of your peers for the glory of God. Instead of being obedient to lead his family to Bethel, Jacob was disobedient and led his family to Shechem. When we disobey God, we’re not only putting ourselves in unnecessary danger but our entire family as well.

Defilement
In this chapter, we see the word “defilement” used 3x to describe Shechem’s horrific offense (Gen. 34:5, 15, 27). Shechem said he loved Dinah (Gen. 34:3), but true love does not rape (Gen. 34:5) and hold someone captive (Gen. 34:26).

Many in this generation are driven intensely by their sexual passions and believe mere physical attraction is love when in reality it is the empty, ultimately unsatisfying, shell of lust. God is the author of love, romance, and sex; therefore, to experience the fullness of each we must play the game of life using His manual called the Bible. 
Notice Jacob’s response to his daughter getting raped (Gen. 34:5). This is the reaction of a cowardly father, an apathetic father, or both. Where is parental care? Where is godly leadership? It is nowhere with the dad; therefore, the sons decide to take action because their father won’t.
Everyone is a leader because everyone has influence and the best leaders take initiative under critical circumstances. Learn from the mistakes of Jacob and others so you can become the best version of yourself that God intended.

Deception
Genesis 34:9 is a clear indication that Satan is working behind the scenes, influencing the situation, and trying to destroy the covenant line. Just as God is interweaving His plan of redemption throughout the Bible we also see Satan, in his futility, trying to sabotage it.

The reason Hamor and Shechem were so willing to have themselves and the men of their city circumcised is because that would be their “foot in the door” to ultimately absorb all of Israel’s wealth (Gen. 34:23). Notice that both sides are deceiving each other! Concerning Jacob’s family, as soon as they pushed God out of their life, that’s when they started acting just like the world.

As you read through the events of Genesis 34 we are left to wonder, “Where is Jacob in all of this?!” It’s a shame when sons need to take action because their father won’t. Here’s where it gets personal. It’s a shame when other people need to bear your responsibilities because you choose not to. From one father to another, I pray we rise up to be the strong spiritual leaders our families need.

Vengeance
As the chapter comes to a close, we find ourselves in a traumatic tragedy. Not only did these boys commit mass murder, high-scale theft, destruction, and perversion of God’s holy sign of the covenant, but most reprehensible of all, they misrepresented God entirely. What do you think the pagan nations around them were thinking as they saw those who claimed to follow the one true God act like this? Certainly, there are no godly men in this chapter. If only Jacob obeyed the Lord by taking his family to Bethel this would have all been avoided. Even Jacob’s response is a reflection of his pernicious, selfish, heart.

Though this is a chapter of catastrophe, not all hope is lost. God has not given up on the covenant family. Though it seems darkness has consumed mankind, God’s light will inevitably shine and cause freedom once again. 

Join me in praying the below prayer:

“Dear God, please forgive me for the times I have disobeyed You. Please restore those relationships I’ve hurt from my own selfishness. Please break my heart over my sin. Build me up into the person You desire me to be. I pray for all those who have suffered sexual assault of any kind; heal them of their pain, restore them from their trauma, and use them to testify of Your power to work all things for good. Help Your Church to raise awareness of, educate about, defend from, and combat against the sin of sexual assault. I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.” 

Action Point
​This event in Genesis is known as the “Dinah Incident” and is one that reminds all of us that sexual assault is a horrific reality in our world. Here are several recommendations for you and your church to get involved in this very important subject. Here’s how you and your church can be salt and light in this situation:

• Pray
• Implement, maintain, and update safe church child protection policies. 
• Require leaders in the church to complete boundary and trauma training.
• Take a special offering for your local domestic violence or sexual assault organizations. 
• During April (Sexual Assault Awareness) and October (Domestic Violence Awareness) encourage your church to participate in some way whether it be providing services to these organizations, having a sermon series, etc. 
• Provide resources for your congregation to raise awareness and be educated.
• If you see something, say something! You can help stop someone from becoming a victim. 

I’ve been single for a while now. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it. It’s just my life and I am happy with it. Recently I discovered some people weren’t as happy with my singleness as I am. I had no idea my single status had such an effect on others. Apparently, quite a few opinions are floating around about me being single that I was unaware of.

As singles, we have to be careful about allowing opinions & stereotypes to be projected onto us. It can cause us to become frustrated with the journey if we’re not careful. Here are some of the things I’ve heard lately regarding my singleness:

1) Abstinent? Poor thing!
2) She doesn’t know how to submit to a man that’s why she’s still single.
3) She’s not getting any younger she should take whoever she can get.
4) A smart, pretty girl like her not married? Something must be wrong with her.

Do any of the above sound familiar? I could go on. To say I was surprised to find out that so many had been thinking about why I’m still single is an understatement. It’s weird. Why is there such a negative view of singleness? Singles, your unmarried status is not a problem or something to hurry & get over. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not to be pitied because you’re not having sex, too picky, or your standards are too high. As a matter of fact, Apostle Paul said, in comparison to marriage, our single status is advantageous.

In 1 Corinthians 7th chapter you can read the married vs single discussion. While our culture practically insists you have to have a boyfriend or girlfriend and has made marriage some type of status symbol―scripture has the total opposite view:

1 Corinthians 7:25-28 states:

Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

Singles you are in an amazing position. Please don’t see this as me bashing marriage. Many couples I know say they love being married but also express how weighty the new responsibilities are. What I am speaking to is the attitude that being single is something miserable, something to hurry through to get to the real prize―marriage.

Shake off the gloom of being alone & look around you. You can freely come & go, dream & build, serve & grow with no reservation or interruptions. You can minister in whatever capacity God calls you to without having to first secure the agreement of your spouse. Don’t let the opinions of others steal your joy. Don’t let what you see in others highlight reel on social media cause you to miss out on one of the greatest gifts ever given―singleness.

Live your best life now. Work on improving yourself now, develop a plan for your finances now instead of presumptuously waiting until marriage to ‘figure it out. Become the best you that you can be to the glory of God in your single season so that your married season will be that much more impactful & enjoyable.

V.I.R.G.I.N. walks you through a 7 day discovery journey of self-worth and reveals God’s vested interest in your future by using scripture and life lessons from the author’s life. She shares candidly about her commitment to remain abstinent until marriage and how that decision unexpectedly led her into her purpose. Purchase the author’s book, “Virgin The Book” at this link: Click here

By: Joy Osahon (Author, Empowerment Speaker, Faith Blogger)

Walking in your purpose is an exciting journey that positions you in spaces and grants you the opportunities that you probably would not have imagined. It is a refreshing journey that can produce invaluable fruits in your life but oftentimes the journey itself can feel more like a hike. Typically, when you go on a hike, you are excited and pumped up at the beginning but that changes once you find yourself tripping over the rocks, losing your balance, here and there, and your body becoming overly tired after putting in several miles. Similar to an actual hike, walking in your purpose can feel the same way. It does feel the same way and what many people do not discuss is that similar feelings experienced are not always a sign for you to throw in the towel. In reality, the reason why walking in your purpose can often feel like a hike is because it is meant to produce the following 3 things:

Character / Resiliency/Greater Impact
Walking in purpose feels like a hike. It is not meant to destroy you but to build you up despite how cliché’ that may sound. Character building is essential when it comes to your purpose. So, when your character is filled with arrogance, pride, and hate, your purpose will not
operate to its fullest potential. It is important to add that character building is not always caused by doing something wrong. God may need you to become wiser in certain areas and sometimes the best way for that to happen is to put you under pressure. No matter how tough things may be or feel, God’s promise found in Jeremiah 29:11 is a strong reminder of that:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm
you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)

All of which is meant to build up your resiliency. Hence why walking in your purpose is not for the faint of heart. Becoming resilient is not an easy process and it can be very painful and draining. Thankfully, it is not an experience that lasts forever. In the end, you can become wiser, stronger, and more faithful with what God has called you to do; if you choose to stay the course. Even though hiking in your purpose can be difficult, there is still hope that can be found once you tap into God for the power and strength that you need to keep going. 2 Corinthians 12:9 is a great reminder of what it means to be weak in God’s eyes:

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me”. (NIV)

Not only is the “hike” in your purpose shaping your character and making you more resilient; it is positioning you to be of a greater impact to many. I have a personal philosophy that I came up with and live by and that is, “Everything you are going through is someone’s ‘How-To’ Book”. The only way to be a person’s “How-To” book is to get from point A to point Z or in other words, overcoming something. If walking in your purpose was just a smooth or problem-free walk, your journey will not benefit anyone else other than yourself.

Since purpose is not about you and more about how someone can positively benefit from your gift(s), it is essential that you understand that the hardships you have faced or currently are facing are not in vain. It is really in the hiking of your purpose that invaluable lessons are learned, books are being birthed, webinars are created, businesses are being launched, passions are being ignited, ideas are being curated, and individuals are genuinely being served and appropriately loved in a healthy manner. As you can see, having knowledge of your purpose and just casually walking in it is not enough. It is really in the “hiking” experience that a wiser, more knowledgeable, resilient, and influential you is being created. So, embrace the hike.

This Is Not Your “Typical Finding Your Purpose” Book mission is to challenge and shift the conversation and perspective around purpose and the reality of it. So, if you are ready to view purpose from a lense that will transform you into the person that God has called you to be, then take a plunge into this book. Book can be purchased on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3jIJ8fa

A little over three years ago, I was going through my morning routine so that I could head to the office. I had my music going and was standing in the mirror getting my hair together. There was a pause in my music, so I looked at my phone and noticed that someone was calling. I keep my ringer on silent 98% of the time. When I looked to see who was calling, it showed ‘NO CALLER ID’ on the screen. I smacked my lips and got back to my routine. I said to myself, “I’m not answering that call.”

In my experience, when ‘NO CALLER ID’ shows up on the screen, it is either someone playing on the phone, a telemarketer, some weirdo, or some scammer. My music came back on for about 10 seconds before being interrupted again. The same thing showed on the screen: NO CALLER ID.

Now, I’m getting irritated and blurted out, “WHO KEEPS CALLING ME?” I grabbed my phone and irritatingly hit the ACCEPT button.

“Yes.”The person on the other end of the phone was a woman. She replied, “Is this (insert nonprofit)?””Yes, it is. Who’s calling?”

I was at the end of my fundraising season and preparing for an event. Therefore, I was not surprised that someone mentioned my organization.

The woman on the phone said, “I saw your flyer on Instagram and I wanted to get more information.”
She identified herself as “Alexa” and said that she was the assistant of a very famous (and rich) person.

In my head, I said, “YEAH, RIGHT!” However, the words that came out of my mouth were, “OK. Yes, what would you like to know?”

Alexa went on to ask my name and other questions that were relevant to my upcoming community event. I interrupted her a time or two and asked her what her name was again. I was skeptical, but my curiosity didn’t let me hang up. I believe I let her continue only because she wasn’t asking me for money or personal information. We finished the call and Alexa told me that I should expect another call soon.

I was not sold on the fact that the woman who called me was really this famously rich person’s assistant. I mean…why in the world would she call ME?! Ten minutes later as I was getting ready to leave, my phone rang again. The same ‘NO CALLER ID’ flashed on the screen. I answered quickly this time. The voice on the other end was different this time.

“Hiiiiiiiiii! Is this Eureka” the woman asked? Her voice was high-spirited. You could tell that she was smiling.

“Yes, it is. Who’s calling?”
“Hi, Eureka! My assistant told me that you didn’t sound very convinced of who she was. This is Khloe Kardashian and I want you to know that what you’re doing for your community is super-duper awesome!”
“Khloe Kardashian? Really? Are you serious? Is someone playing with me this morning?”

I kept calm- walking and talking and still skeptical. I listened to the voice closely. She asked me questions about how long I’d been doing the event and my inspiration for starting it. She explained to me that she somehow saw my flyer on Instagram and that she wanted to donate. She told me to expect an email from her assistant within the week to discuss further and where to send the donation.
I GOT THE EMAIL WITHIN A WEEK. ALEXA & I SPOKE SEVERAL TIMES AND I RECEIVED THE DONATION TWO WEEKS LATER. IT REALLY WAS HER!!

I told people on my social media. I don’t think they believed me until Khloe Kardashian commented on one of my posts.

But… what if I had allowed fear and familiarity to keep me from accepting the call? What if my urge to decline had won?
Some of us become fearful when it comes to answering what God has called us to do. Something inside of us tells us to ACCEPT it and ANSWER the CALL, while we struggle with the fear. We get fearful of what may be on the other side of the call. We get fearful of what will can or cannot happen if we answer the call. We get irritated because of what happened the last time we answered a call.
Those things are simply a distraction and ways to keep us stuck. The enemy knows that you become your most powerful and FREE when you answer the call that God has on your life. He knows that favor and blessings are attached to the will of God.

There are blessings and favor on the other side of that fear and anxiety. There are blessings and favor on the other side of unfamiliarity. YOU are a blessing on the other side of fear, anxiety, and what may be said by others. Trust that the call that you accept is ordained by God.

What is not being done because you haven’t stepped up?

Who is not being delivered or set free because you’re afraid of what others may think? What vision cannot be accomplished because you are not in your place?

Don’t decline the call. ACCEPT IT! Get rid of the urge to decline the call on your life.

In my book, A Fancy Tale of Yesterdays, I share how our past experiences can produce fear in us and detour us from the call that God has placed on our life if we allow it.

To purchase, visit bit.ly/EurekaLIce or email EurekaMomentNow@gmail.com for a signed copy.
#Purpose #Calling #God #Grace #Mercy #AnswertheCall

I grew up in what I thought was a pretty loving home until I saw my father, who’s a preacher, hit my mother at the age of seven years old for the first time. It was a consistent image that would be ever-present in front of me until I was 17 years old. At that age, my mom got the courage to get a divorce. Having endured the turmoil accompanied by my parents’ tumultuous relationship, as a child, I often held an unfortunate ringside seat to the dysfunction that swarms the homes of children living amid parents whose relationships are thwarted with domestic violence.

However, between the ages of 7-17 years old, my mom left my father a total of eight times
before walking away completely. She would flee for safety. During those times, additional caregivers stepped in and they would count me out. They didn’t know how to connect with a child who had been the witness of domestic violence, and who had been removed from her home, her safety net, and other siblings. As a result, I was withdrawn.

My mom was treated with empathy; while I felt ignored. It was these experiences that laid seed in my soul to act out as a cry for help. This dysfunction not only crept into my teenage years but as an adult. I developed coping mechanisms that would cause me to self-medicate in a variety of ways including drinking, smoking, addiction to sex, walking away from the church, and various toxic relationships. All of these behaviors resulted in additional trauma.

Despite the struggles, I found myself in my early 20s as a developing success story on the outside, while in my personal and professional life, I was met with roadblock after roadblock. The roadblocks revealed to me that while I had titles, accolades, and credentials there was a great part of me that needed much work. Further, the scars that I had as a child begin to show up in the most unexpected places. As I begin to forge full throttle into dealing with the roadblocks, it became evident that I needed to make some decisions and with those decisions change.

I was able to quickly identify myself in the statistics regarding kids that grow up in domestic violence homes. According to Dr. Sandra A. Graham-Bermann, professor of Psychology and Psychiatry of University of Michigan:
 “The impact of Childhood Domestic Violence can be lifelong in terms of physical and mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression, and traumatic stress, difficulty in relationships with others, academic and employment failures, and trouble parenting.”If I hadn’t taken a stand to face myself and my demons, then the above as it pertains to traumatic stress, difficulty in relationships with others to name a few would’ve been my end story. God still loved me and had a place for me. God knew His purpose and calling was greater for me. What looked like a place of death, turned into an opportunity to face that broken little girl resulting in ending the negative cycle.

I am now using the pains of my past to bring advocacy and awareness, facilitate healing and wholeness, and to hopefully prevent others from going through what I’d been through. I refused to let this generational curse continue. It was my goal to make it stop with me. After acknowledging the trauma and its effects, I took the needed steps to realign my life to maintain wholeness through extensive counseling and understanding the correct theology of the Word.

After what seemed like much tousling, many lessons, and bruised beyond human error, I decided to get better by doing the work to heal. In that healing, I realized that everything that has transpired in my life; good and bad, have been intentional for the Kingdom of Heaven. My talents, passions, career moves, and innate abilities were being orchestrated for my life purpose. I am now a woman of great faith, happily married wife, and bonus mom to two adult daughters.

My book shares the effects of growing up in a home with domestic violence, along with overcoming the barriers of not repeating the cycle. It gives hope to children and adults that have experienced trauma in these environments that you can rewrite your story. You’ll see my passion in advocacy towards providing resources to help and heal children and adults exposed to domestic violence. Purchase book at: tiffanymensah.com or  “Forgotten: Living in the Shadows of Domestic Violence”

At age 13, a young girl was finishing up the 8th grade. Earlier in the year, she learned of a camp that seemed like a lot of fun. The camp was for at-risk, low-income students whose parents had never attended college. The camp meant that she would have to spend her summer on a college campus about 30 miles away with other students with similar backgrounds. She said to herself, “Yep, I fit that mold. We’re poor, no one had gone near a college in my family and how many risks do you want me to name for this application?” The girl went into the principal’s office after getting recommendations from some teachers and told him her desire. After all, she needed his signature & recommendation to attend the camp. He was very familiar with the camp and listened to her explain why she ‘fit the mold.’ He allowed her to plead her case and then he rejected her. That’s right. Her principal told her that he would not recommend her for the camp.

Of course, her heart was broken. She was confident that she would get his blessing. She received a blessing, however, it looked nothing as she had hoped.

She wanted to make the excuse that “The man was just trying to keep a sista down”, but her principal was Black. Thus, she thought to say that he was just mean and unfair but knew that to be untrue. She searched for reason after reason as to why he would deny her the desire and then he gave her his. He said, “Eureka, you’re setting the standard too low.”

Err? Say what? What do you mean, Mr. principal man? What standard & what does too low mean if I fit the requirements? That was my reaction. Although I was a minority (black & female), a product of a low-income family, considered myself at-risk due to my chaotic environment, and no one in my immediate family had ever gone to college (or finished high school) I was a straight-A student. I’d been in the gifted and talented program since first grade and was a current co-captain of my basketball and track teams. My principal sat in front of me behind his desk and recited all of these things to me. I was still focusing on the fact that he said no. Then, he took things in another direction. He began to explain to me that he had a different summer program that he wanted me to attend. He told me that there was only one student from my school district who could attend and he wanted me to be that student.

I thought to myself, “There’s no way that this could be fun. I won’t know anyone, they won’t look like me, people will be weird, & blah-blah-blah!” Regardless of all of the negatives, I thought of, I accepted. I chose to spend two months of my summer at a university that was about four hours away from home. It would be the farthest and longest that I had ever been away from home at that time. It would also be the first time I had ever been on a college campus. The camp was attended by my state’s best and brightest students. We lived in the dorms on a college schedule, had job duties, and went to class on the schedule.

I, now, had a new standard. I now fit a different mold. Just as David sent someone to “carry” or move Mephibosheth (2 Samuel 4:4; 9) out of Lode bar, God sent my principal to guide me out of my generational “Lodebar Experience.” My thinking had become “lame” and crippled my ability to see farther. I became the first person in my immediate family to graduate high school and go on to become the first person in many generations to attend and graduate college. I was the curse breaker. What if I had refused? I know you’re probably asking: What’s the point of this story? I’ll tell you. 

Many of us allow only the familiar world around us―our environment, past, socioeconomic status, and/or familial history to set the standard for us. Some of us are ignorant of the fact that this world is such a huge place and our current reality does not have to be our forever reality! We set our bars and standards as low as the minimum requires and never raise them past our comfort zone. If it’s familiar, it seems right. It’s that train of thought that limits our success, life, future, and God. 

God does not want us to set limits based on familiarity or what we may see around us. His plans are way bigger than that. 

Jeremiah 29:11 says: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
God used my junior high principal to show me that my bar had been set too low and that my standards were not high enough. I was setting my standard on my minimum (the negatives) instead of my maximum (the positives). I was setting my bar as low as I could see (past exposure + current environment), instead of as high as I could imagine (hopes, dreams, vision). And God sets our reach, standard, and bar even higher! He strategically places people in our lives to expose us to our higher calling. He empowers us to prosper. He puts people in our paths to point us in the direction that He wants us to go. 
Here is the challenge: It’s up to us to accept or deny. It’s up to us if we’re going to follow His lead.

 Have you set your bar or standards too low? Have you allowed what you see, what you’re used to, what your family accomplished, or what some hater told you were not to be your standard? The Word of God gives us a standard. Which one will you choose? 

In my book, A Fancy Tale of Yesterdays, I share a woman’s journey through negative thinking, negative experiences, and generational strongholds. These things are critical in how we see ourselves, other people, God and His purpose for our lives. To purchase, visit bit.ly/EurekaLIce or email EurekaMomentNow@gmail.com for a signed copy.