Why Being a Virgin is no Joke: Thoughts on Born Again Virgin Show and Media’s Portrayal of Virgins

TV One has a new show out that highlights the hot topic of virginity. Everyone seems to be jumping on the band wagon, but everyone’s contribution to the topic is not necessarily beneficial to those of us who are seeking to maintain our virginity until marriage.

Some positives about the show is that it is starting a conversation on a serious topic that affects the well-being and health of a woman mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and socially. It also gives a lot of Black actors a job that we have not seen work in a long time, and the show is written by an all female writing team.

However, in my opinion not everything is positive about the show, but it’s a comedy and meant to entertain not to promote the ideal of doing things God’s way. Comedy is cool and fine to draw viewers and keep them drawn in, something I believe the show has done well, but rather suggestively and if you are a serious virgin like me, it may not be your show of choice if you want to continue down the path of purity.

I ain’t ashamed to say what my flesh cannot handle right now as a single woman because my flesh ain’t saved. It is just under subjection and just like it is under subjection it can get from under subjection if I allow it. So, I personally choose not to fan the flame.

Just like I take my sexuality seriously in small things such as guarding my thoughts from inappropriate innuendos on television; a person who wishes to practice abstinence rather a born again virgin or regular virgin will need to take it seriously as well. That will mean not dating just anybody and everybody who is not on the same page, setting realistic boundaries such as not kicking it in a man’s apartment that we aren’t married to, possibly no kissing, and simply following the leading of the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit leads us and guides us into pathways of truth only. Living abstinent for me is not something that I could do on my own. If I am honest, which I am, I would share that my ability to practice abstinence has been contingent upon the fact that God himself has been my covering giving me wisdom, and guidance on who to keep around and who to let go of and how to be free from my own lust. We cannot continue to practice abstinence if we continue to flirt with sin and sexually compromising situations as the lead character in the show continues to place herself in.

If you take fire into your bosom, you are sure to get burnt. You cannot play with sin especially sexual sin. If I am getting to know a brother and notice a spirit of seduction on him coming at me, I cut him off. I ain’t got time for games. God gives us discernment for a reason. We have to use it. I remember talking to this one guy who thought he had a full-proof get the drawers plan, and it would have worked on me had I not cut him off.

Popular media often looks at virginity as just a sensational thing to try to tempt or disprove virgins as strange, weird, naive’ or imbalanced. It only focuses on the natural mocking or ignoring the spiritual. I have seen some strange reality shows on virgins looking straight foolish that has turned me off. If the media wants to tackle the issue of virginity in a balanced manner then they will need to seek out balanced virgins. We are not weird, freaky, creepy, naive’ and disconnected individuals. We are strong individuals who have made a clear choice to seek to honor God with our bodies and God grants us the ability to do so by his grace.

Being a virgin is not just a physical situation for popularity or sport. It’s not something you try on like a glove, but a choice that reflects a transformation from the inside out. A virgin has to renew her mind. She has to be pure in both body and spirit making a series of smaller choices that lead up to the big choice of no sex until marriage.

It is possible to be a virgin and still be impure in one’s thoughts. This is why we need the Lord and his word to help us to renew our minds and to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We cannot walk around in our flesh trying to accomplish God’s will on our own.

While it is great that TV One has decided to tackle the topic of abstinence and virginity because of the conversation that surrounds the topic; it is not clear where the main character of the show will be going or how serious she really is about her choice to practice abstinence. Unless she takes things seriously and makes some serious changes, she will end up in a brother’s bed, and I will not be tuning in to watch