Are you a single person or even a married person struggling with sexual sins such as pornography, masturbation, air humping, or fantasy lust? You aren’t the first one and you will not be the last one who’s struggled with those things. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
We’re all in the same boat; some way or somehow when it comes to missing the mark, but we have hope through Jesus Christ. Just because you’re a Christian doesn’t mean that you will not struggle with sexual sin. The good news is that we overcome sexual sin through Jesus Christ. I’ve struggled with each one of those things, and I’ve overcome. Below are some of the things that have helped me and I believe they’ll be sure to help you as well.
Pursue God more than you Pursue Freedom from Sexual Sin
Having a heart that truly wants to honor God causes us to do all that we can to overcome sexual sin. We set up crazy boundaries like getting rid of our computers and electronic devices, not watching television at all, and not talking to the opposite sex on the phone after 9 p.m. That’s good and cool, and eventually may be helpful, but it isn’t enough.
We can obsess over trying to do the right thing so much that it could cause us to stumble and do the wrong things because we’re putting too much emphasis on our strength. The reality is our strength isn’t enough to keep us from sexual sin. Neither is our strength enough to keep us in right standing with God.
However, feeding a greater desire for intimacy with God will help to calm our sexual hormones because we’ll be able to be more aware of God’s grace that is available to us. That grace will produce humility, gratitude, and a greater appreciation for what we are afforded in Christ, and that will make us want to obey God. I remember when God shared with me saying, “I did not need that crutch”, which was a form of sexual sin. It was like he’d just taken it away. Sometimes, God allows us to struggle longer with a thing because we’re turning to idols for deliverance whether it’s our gimmicks, ministers, or what have you.
Not that there is anything wrong with doing what we can do and utilizing ministers, but remember God is a jealous God and wants us to know Him for ourselves. Others are limited in what they can provide, but God can provide all that we need and he wants to show that off in a relationship with Him. In response to God’s goodness; we receive his grace to obey. See scripture below:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will. – Romans 12:1-2
I also personally believe that the more time that we spend with the Lord; the more convicted we are regarding our sin and the lesser power our sin has over us. See Psalms 15 that discusses what those who hang out with the Lord do. It isn’t because they’re perfect, but they’re in pursuit of the one who is perfect. Side note: Pursuing God is more than attending church. It’s a personal norm that is practiced at home and throughout the day. It’s acknowledging him in all our ways.
Seek his will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. – Proverbs 3:6 (NLT)
Prayer is a large part of this. Sometimes, our life of seeking God has become so weak that we become more vulnerable to temptation. The Word of God shares that we ought to pray that we do not enter into temptation. Humans have a proneness to sin and we have to intentionally strengthen our heart for the Lord through prayer and following his voice.
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” – Matthew 26:41
God does not condemn you. God’s whole covenant toward man is structured in a way as not to condemn. This is one of the first representations of God’s covenant toward mankind.
For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. There is no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus. – John 3:17
The Holy Spirit will lead you out of the darkness of sexual sin. You have to allow him to lead you. That means you have to push past the feeling of condemnation to continue to believe God through the experience of your sexual sin. Condemnation will make you run away from God, but running to God is the only way you will experience freedom. Don’t believe the lie that you are condemned because of your weakness, but rather believe the truth that God has grace specially reserved for your weakness. That grace is not only giving you mercy for your wrong, but it also empowers you to do what is right.
It will release the chain of bondage that may have been opened up in your life because of a vice. You may have had a legitimate need or concern that you looked to lust to provide the resolve for; instead of trusting and believing in God and his wisdom to provide for you.
A vice is an illegitimate way to meet a legitimate need.
The above quote was mentioned in my first book, “The Single Christian Woman’s Guide.” This book is useful to men as well. Continue to do what is in your power, but realize your deliverance will not come from you; it will come from God. Learning to depend on the Lord through the guidance of his Holy Spirit will be the major determining factor to your sure freedom from sexual bondage.
The Word of God is a cleansing agent that washing us from the dirt that we sometimes get into. Below are some scriptures to meditate on as the Lord ministers to you to free you from your weak flesh:
So, I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. – Galatians 5:16
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so, he condemned sin in the flesh, so that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. – Romans 8:1-4
So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty. – Zechariah 4:6
This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the LORD. – Jeremiah 17:5
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. – Jeremiah 17:7
The above scripture means that as long as we look to ourselves, flesh, or our means to be free; we’ll be in a self-defeating cycle, but when we become mature enough to look to the Lord; we will overcome.
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