To the Women that feel that Men have let Women Down:

There are women out there who do the best that they can. They serve God with all of their heart. They wait on God. They love people, but they feel alone. When they go through things they feel like they go through them alone. They do not have the support or even the perspective of a man most times, and they feel abandoned.

These women feel like they have to face life and life’s challenges uncovered or without being under the protection of a man, a head, or a leader. She may not have had a father in her life. Or the father who is in her life may not have walked out the role of a father protecting and covering his daughter. He may have disrespected the girl’s mother on a consistent basis through abuse verbally, mentally, and physically. Therefore, the girl grows up into a woman confused about her worth and how to relate to men or how men should relate to her. This woman has to be strong for herself and assume all the responsibilities of her household. She feels like she has to bury the thought of having a mate that would compliment her, love her, and understand her due to running into several men who lack what she needs in a mate. I just want to say that although there are women who feel like this; it is a lie from the devil that you are abandoned or alone. It is a lie from the devil that you have to face everything on your own.

I feel like God wants this woman who feels this way to trust in him. When people say that God is a father to the fatherless and he will cover the widow and fatherless. It’s not just a phrase; it’s real. It’s actually the beat of God’s heart to look after those that are uncovered and are alone and abandoned. The Bible clearly says that you are not practicing being a Christian without looking after the widow and fatherless. (James 1:27)

Also, the Bible says that when your father and mother forsakes you; he will take care of you. (Psalms 27:10) I was reading Deuteronomy Chapter 8 tonight and it talks about how the Lord is bringing his people the children of Israel to a promise, and how God doesn’t want us to forget him when he brings us into that promise. A lot of us are waiting on a promise to have a man of God who will treat us right like Christ treats his bride the church. We want to make up for the things that we have lacked coming up, and to know that we are worthy of real true love despite what we have experienced.

Deuteronomy went on to explain how God allowed his people Israel to go through certain things to show them that they do not only need the natural things that he had promised them, but that they needed him even more then those things. Read verses 2-5.

2 And thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no.

3 And he humbled thee, and suffered thee (meaning allowed thee) to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live.

4 Thy raiment waxed not old upon thee, neither did thy foot swell, these forty years. 5 Thou shalt also consider in thine heart, that, as a man chasteneth his son, so the Lord thy God chasteneth thee. Deuteronomy 8:2-5 (KJV)

God wants us to know that although we have experienced some crazy stuff; he has been there all along and he is the one who has sustained us through it all. It’s because of him we are still here in our right minds after experiencing the things that we’ve been through. However, God wants us to learn a lesson in the things that we’ve been through. He says he allowed it so that we can see that we needed him more than we needed our circumstances to change.

In other words, the scripture is saying that God has made his people some promises. God has made some of us women of God some promises as well that he would bless us with a godly companion. However, before God blesses us he wants to deal with what is in our hearts. As much as we would like to believe we are completely innocent and have everything altogether, that is just not the case. God wants to use our current circumstances to fix what’s wrong in us. He wants us to entrust those men that we’ve had our eyes on to him; while he fixes us. 

God saw in the children of Israel’s heart the tendency to forget him. By causing the children of Israel to go through in the wilderness; he ingrained a consistent memory in their mind that before they had the blessing of promise that it was God who sustained them. It was God who sustained them for an excessive amount of time. God had sustained them for 40 years to be exact. During that 40 years the Bible says God allowed them to know what it is like to feel hungry and be fed by him. God allowed them to walk in the same clothes and shoes without those clothes wearing old nor the feet becoming swollen from overuse of the same pair of shoes for 40 years.

In the same way that God sustained the children of Israel in this passage of scripture, God is saying to trust him to sustain you as a single woman. I thought about this as I was reading the scripture and how it is true how God has sustained me. I have been single for 30 years and God has sustained me with peace of mind, all of my needs taken care of, and no baby daddies. God has been good. God is so good that not only will he sustain you, but he will cause you to find forgiveness in your heart for those that hurt you and mistreated you because forgiveness is not really about that other person, but it’s about you. God will deal with and take care of those other people, but God is concerned about you. I also thought about how I hadn’t been out on a date in 3 years and didn’t even realize it. I wasn’t stressing saying oh, I need to find someone to date because I didn’t realize. It wasn’t a big deal to me.

I did realize a pattern however that made me feel out of place or discouraged, and that is when I decide to look to men instead of to God. Yes, there are a lot of issues when it comes to men, and women can easily feel let down without very many choices. We have the ratio of men to women, then the amount of men in prison, then the amount of men who go with men, and finally the men of God who don’t know who they are and are trying hard to be like men who are in the world. But I believe God doesn’t want us to focus on that. He wants us to focus on him and how he is the one who has sustained us. Putting our trust in a man that God has not clearly ordained to cover us is like bringing an empty glass to a broken fountain expecting the glass to become full. The glass will remain empty. That glass is like our hearts. When we put our trust in the wrong men; we open our heart up to disappointment.

God doesn’t want us to be disappointed. He wants us to be excited and thankful for him and how he’s sustained us thus far, and how he will continue to sustain us until he brings  the man that he has promised us because God intends to make good on his word, but he is perfecting us and making us pure so that when the promise comes we will be able to handle it without forgetting the Lord. So, don’t be discouraged because it seems that you are alone at times. The truth is you are never alone. God is there with you teaching, chastening, and purifying you as he prepares you for the blessing that he has for you, and he doesn’t want you to be discouraged by what you see, but to keep your eyes on him because he is able to do the impossible.