There is a perceived scarcity of godly men and women due to many men and women of God being separated, but despite the perceived scarcity the providence and ability of God is much greater than any perceived scarcity.
My friend and I were talking this weekend about why guys sometimes operate the way that they do. I proposed the lack of teaching, guidance, and direction in the church for how a man is to pursue a woman as well as the perceived scarcity of mature Christian men and women. She agreed. She said that guys will pick girls like flowers and put them in a basket as he peeps the field for the best flowers. Either he finds a flower that he thinks is better or if not he goes back to his basket and picks one from there.
My response was that’s cool as long as he isn’t leading on every girl in his basket because the ones that aren’t chosen will have to deal with rejection, and fear of not being good enough or pretty enough. These are all distractions from being the confident woman that God desires for us to be.
This is just my take and I am not an expert just a young woman learning and growing. I feel that there has been within some circles a since of scarcity for mature Christian men and women of God. Therefore, when a guy who may be somewhat mature sees a beautiful mature woman of God, he feels he’s got to jump right on her locking her down before the next dude gets to her, but the problem with this is once the guy gets her interest and realizes he isn’t ready for such a big commitment, he freezes up and falls back.
This could be a good thing if the brother realized that he was moving on his own accord and not by the leading of God. In that sense, he has prevented some heartache, and yet caused some as well. However, with the grace and love of God, mutual respect and understanding communication this can be overcome.
This is why my take would be to just be friends as much as possible checking one another out, but keeping it to ourselves until we are serious and sure that we want to pursue a relationship that pleases and honors God. In this way the girls emotions are protected because the gentleman and woman together have set appropriate expectations. Also, it isn’t fair to just get with somebody because we feel they are the only man or woman of God out there. In that case, we may find ourselves settling for someone God doesn’t have for us, or ignoring serious issues to have someone.
This is why I love the below scripture that implies that there is a need to be full of good things to make a good decision instead of making a decision out of famine:
One who is full loathes honey from the comb, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet. Proverbs 27:7
The person who makes the choice for a relationship out of famine or lack, may not make the best choice.
This is why I believe God is bringing me into more fellowship with appropriate and godly men as well as women to balance out the skewed perceptions that we so easily get by seeing negative men or women on a consistent basis. This also helps us to be more laid back and relaxed about God’s will concerning the spouse that he may have promised some of us because our faith becomes strengthened seeing that it is possible to have appropriate interactions with the opposite sex.
I pray that single believers including myself would become so full off of the love of God, healthy, pure, and non compromising relationships with the opposite sex preferably in group settings that a mate choice is not made out of desperation or famine, but the wisdom, providence, and divine leading of the Lord. This will prevent some of the emotional roller coasters and help us to protect our hearts while we wait for God’s best and despite what you have been through, you are worthy of God’s best. God made each one of us the answer to someone’s prayers and worthy to receive love.
Instead of viewing godly persons of the opposite sex as a scarcity, we should view them as a rarity meaning uncommon, highly-prized, and rare. Scarcity implies nearly non-existent or not enough, when rarity implies existence that is hidden due to it’s high value. That’s who we are.
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