An Honest Conversation on the Intimidation of a Woman of Standard
Recently, I watched the season finale of “Growing Up Hip-Hop.” It is a show starring Romeo Miller, Master P’s son, Angela Simmons, Reverend Run’s daughter, and many other music industry young
people.
It was interesting to watch the development of Angela, who represented abstinence until marriage for a while until meeting a man that she became engaged to and had her first child with. One could only wonder if all of the pressure that a woman of standard deals with got to Angela influencing her
decision to go ahead and give in.
The season finale of Season 3 showed Little Bow Wow, who Angela had some sort of dating
relationship with in the past. He asked Angela questions alluding to the idea that he believed she was settling with her current fiance’.
Could Bow Wow’s thought be true? Could Angela have been influenced by the pressure that often
causes fears and poor choices to come to the surface in a woman of standard? Just in case my readers are dealing with similar issues, I’ve compiled a brief list of things women of standard deal with and
how to handle them properly while we go through them.
Fear of Being Alone:
One of the fears that women of God deal with is the fear of being alone. Women of standard often
hear things like what Bow Wow shared with Angela on their reunion lunch. He used an analogy
telling her that he always used to tell her when they talked in the past that she needed to open her
FedEx box. How many women of standard have heard the same things, and felt that it could possibly be true after being passed up and looked over so many times because of not giving it up.
I would encourage those women to change their perspectives and to view the men passing them up as protection from God instead of rejection because of God’s standard in their lives. A woman in those
shoes allows herself to be preserved for a man who will honor and respect her for her standard instead of put her down for it.
The Challenge of a Woman of Standard is Too Much for Some Men:
Bow Wow went on to share with Angela that no one would want to marry her without sampling her
FedEx box. He went on saying, “that stuff is hard not having sex until marriage.” It isn’t something
that many men can fathom themselves complying with for any length of time to pursue a girl and get the goods later after marriage. It makes some men feel as though they have to be perfect, serious,
devout, and if they are not then it isn’t worth trying. So, the girl again gets passed up.
This is where women of standard have to continue to stand unwavering because her standard is taking her somewhere. Her standard is separating the men from the boys for her, and reserving her only for
the men.
A few things: Women naturally mature quicker than boys. We grow taller earlier and such by nature.
In many cases, this is true when it comes to development in other ways such as socially, and
spiritually in general. This means that there has to be a level of patience within a woman of standard
to be able to forbear in whatever state she is in rather waiting on a mature man of God as she
continues to develop with God or in a marriage. While the woman waits she has to remain secure in
her worth.
Distracting Ourselves from the Pain:
Being honest, there will be some pain when a woman of God has a standard. Everyone will not agree nor understand our standard, but we still will need to maintain it. One of the ways that we can
continue to do so is to distract ourselves from the pain of loneliness, misunderstanding, and feeling
rejected. If our pain is not properly dealt with it can produce negative emotions that cause us to make poor choices and to end up dealing with things such as condemnation instead of the love and
redemptive power of Christ within us.
Give your burdens, negative thoughts and emotions to the Lord in prayer. Exchange them for what
God says about you. Surround yourself with those who agree with God’s plan for your life, and limit your dealings with those who do not. Be willing to endure whatever hardships the Lord allows
keeping a praise in your heart and on your lips for what God is doing within you. Any suffering
endured will only produce more character within you
“And not only this but [with joy] let us exult in our sufferings and rejoice in our hardships, knowing
that hardship (distress, pressure, trouble) produces patient endurance; and endurance, proven
character (spiritual maturity); and proven character, hope and confident assurance [of eternal
salvation]. Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been
abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
Romans 5:3-4
Continue to enjoy your life, and whatever you do, do not settle for anything below the standard God
has set for you in his word. Allow God to constantly change and secure your perspectives as he heals you from the wounds incurred along the way.
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