Wholeness is a very important thing to have in our lives prior to entering into a relationship, but before we share key points on why it’s so important, we have to first define what wholeness is. Wholeness has a lot to do with how we see things. When we see things properly, we can prevent ourselves from having crippling perspectives that cause us to become stagnant in life.
Often, negative experiences and circumstance are what cause us to have perspectives that aren’t appropriately balanced. For example, the woman who proclaims that all men are out to use her and discard her probably has an imbalanced perspective. Why? Because she has discounted all of the men out there who are willing to love, protect, and honor her for who she is.
Out of the wrong perspectives grow other things such as pessimism, fear, a cold-shoulder, or being excessively guarded––all because an improper perspective was not dealt with. When we become whole individuals, there is a settling, rest, and peace in truly balanced perspectives. We are healthy in our thinking about ourselves, and others which results in healthy actions and decisions made for every area of our lives. Even the Bible discusses how important wholeness is to prosper in life.
Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in “good health”, another term for wholeness, just as your soul prospers. – 3 John 1:2
The above scripture provides a very important key to wholeness; wholeness happens from our inside first, and then it manifests outwardly into every area of our lives. This means that outward circumstances should not affect our wholeness or good health, but our wholeness or good health within ourselves should affect our outward circumstances.
Side note: Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions. When we are whole in these, we will be whole regardless of what life throws at us. Many people have not come to an inward resolve about their personal wholeness in how they see themselves and others. Thus, when entering into a relationship, many people make unnecessary mistakes that could have been avoided had they only been whole.
Wholeness is important for an individual to be settled within his/her-self
When we are settled in who we are, we’ve simply fully accepted ourselves. This doesn’t mean we’ve become complacent not seeking to grow. It does mean that we understand that as God created us; we are worthy of the best. We do not have to compromise who we are to fit someone else’s approval in order to have a relationship. We are firm on our standard even when it means being alone for a season. When dating, we will meet people who simply don’t hold our standard, and we are okay with not continuing the relationship any further because we can foresee the unnecessary conflict that will ensue if we compromise who we are. We realize that at some point we will regret that we’ve settled into something that we are not, just to have a relationship, and thus we consider it not worth it to do so.
Click here to view more about my book on wholeness.
Stay tuned for next week’s part II on the importance of wholeness before entering a relationship.
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