A Girl Named Priscilla and a guy named Mark
Let’s say a girl named Priscilla met a guy named Mark. Priscilla wants to have at least one child. Mark has just gotten his last adult child out of the house and is done. Priscilla discovers this about Mark being done on date 2. She puts him in the friend zone because it’s a non-negotiable for her.
However, Mark encourages Priscilla to take him out of the friend zone by seeking to get physical in a way not characteristic of friends but more so lovers. Priscilla has a decision to make. Will she stick to the boundary of friendship she’d set? Or, will she allow herself to be wooed into friends with benefits?
We Have to Know Where We Stand With Our Boundaries to Enforce Them
This type of scenario points out the importance of knowing where we stand with our boundaries and simply sticking to them. Sticking to our boundaries helps us to produce the outcome we desire. In Priscilla’s case, she wants a committed relationship that leads to marriage with someone who also wants to have at least one child. She also wants to remain abstinent until marriage.
Also, sticking to our boundaries is important because it shows others how to treat us. Sure, some will not understand and may try to manipulate us or make us feel bad for having boundaries. Let that be their problem and not ours.
Our job is to take accountability for our actions and not the actions of others.
Our job is to take accountability for our actions and not the actions of others. It will be uncomfortable, but in the end, we keep our self-respect and remain in position for God’s will in our lives. Let’s take Joseph for example. He’d been faced with an opportunity contrary to what he desired. Potiphar’s wife thought he was sexy and tried to seduce him.
At that point, Joseph took accountability. Despite Potiphar’s wife’s actions, Joseph chooses to run for himself. He was not going to settle for a side relationship when God had a whole wife for him. Joseph knew he wasn’t no side-piece and he did not allow Potiphar’s wife to treat him as such.
Our Boundaries Protect our Identity
Sidenote: our boundaries protect our identity and how we see and value ourselves. This should be decided between us and God, not people in general. People, in general, either come up to God’s standard or our boundary keeps them at a distance until they rise to the standard.
Of course, Joseph’s boundary was uncomfortable. Although he did what was right, he went to prison anyway. All of this was a part of the journey God had him on to promote him as governor in Egypt. While we are on our path to dating, living life, and meeting others, we too, will be faced with opportunities that will test our boundaries.
Expect Others to Test Your Boundaries to See if We’re Real or Not
People will want to know if s/he is real about what s/he says s/he believes. People will test us in these dating streets. It’s up to us to take accountability and hold our standards. When dating, our boundaries and non-negotiables show us when to walk away. When others seek to push our clearly communicated boundaries, it shows us to avoid them romantically.
What if Priscilla had allowed herself to go there with Mark? Not only would she be caught up in a soul tie with someone who doesn’t want what she wants. She would also have been enabling Mark’s behavior which shows his lack of discipline. Whereas, God may have had Mark in a process to assist him in working through his lust—the lust would be that much harder to overcome because Priscilla and Mark would have added more wood to the fire. This scenario would leave both Mark and Pricilla stuck.
Whatever progress they’d made before in crucifying their flesh—they’d have to start all over again to put their flesh under subjection. Therefore, Priscilla should not only stick to her boundary of friendship but her boundary of holding off on sexual activity until she is married. This, in turn, shows Mark that if he desires to be in Priscilla’s life—he’s got to honor her boundaries.
Having boundaries is important for both men and women as shown in the story of Joseph.
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