Recently, I was walking either in or out of my church when I felt the grief in my heart of not having a family of my own. I also felt a sense of gratefulness knowing that my momentary suffering has a far greater purpose. Of which purpose is to be a light to other single women.
Like Christ, who also suffered for a greater purpose. So, all men who believe in him would be saved. Shifting my mind to the greater purpose reminds me that it’s an honor to suffer for the kingdom of God and righteousness. I get to suffer for Christ. I get to identify with Christ my Lord and see him more.
So, yes—the grief was in my heart, but joy was there as well. This joy is fueled by faith in Christ and surrender to what he’s allowed in my life. Previous seasons of grief had been extremely heavy. It was difficult to see any good coming out of my experiences. However, after rain forms a rainbow. That’s a promise of joy and something different. I believe the brighter side of grief brings us into a more joyful place.
The Word teaches us to put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Heaviness denotes carrying something heavy or overwhelming. Sometimes, while in that place we don’t know how we can put on the garment of praise but God talks about his anointing coming to give us the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Therefore, his anointing will eventually help us with that. We only have to remain in faith.
Faith is believing God is still good when everything in our lives doesn’t look good. We maintain trust in the character of God despite. Even though—this is a battle that lingers for some time—we win by abiding in faith. Maintaining an attitude of praise helps us to endure the heaviness until it is lifted and we begin to experience joy again.
Even with the loss of close loved ones—I’ve found myself sitting in prayer and just going back in my mind to a thought of a loved one’s smile or something beautiful they would say. Or maybe, their disposition of calm and care. In the moment, it was just us living. Now, that they are gone—it becomes priceless. Tears of joy fall down my face during this process and gratefulness is produced within me for their lives. Not only for their lives but also for hope to see them again.
All of this is fueled by faith—the substance of what we hope for and evidence for what we do not see as scripture defines faith. When we are in the thick of grief—we can’t see any good. It feels like a heavy weight but it will get better. Some tips I’ve experienced to get me to better are below.
Wait for the Voice of the Lord
Scripture teaches us that we do not live by bread (natural things) alone. Instead, we live by every word that proceeds out of God’s mouth. A lot of times when I am in the thick of not only grief but difficulty—God speaks to me in my sleep. He’ll often speak to me in my spirit and back it up with something in his Word. I hold on to God’s word for dear life literally. It’s how I stay in hope. I rehearse it in my mind when I get weak. This stirs the little bit of faith I feel I have left. All we need is a little faith. God says with a small amount of faith we can move a mountain. There is truly nothing too hard for God.
Dive Deep in the Word
Don’t just take for granted that you heard God in your spirit or your dreams but ensure that you are firmly rooted in studying the Word of God daily. We are cleansed from any error, sin, wrong-thinking, and anything we need through the Word of God. Also, faith comes from hearing the Word of God. Faith gets you through the day when you want to give up.
Remain in Faith
Without faith, it’s impossible to please God. This is what God is looking for when we are in our hardship. Just a simple decision not to give up because we believe God’s word is true. We have many examples in scripture of God’s people enduring hardship by faith as they waited for God’s word to come to pass. Psalms 105 shares how God allowed his people Israel to sojourn as strangers in many nations before leading them into their nation.
While they were strangers in various nations—God commanded his protection over them to keep them from harm. I’m sure they probably wondered why God just didn’t put them in their land for good, but God was getting the glory out of them abiding in various nations. It’s also a picture of the gospel of Jesus Christ being spread to every nation as God chose Israel to be a symbol of his covenant with mankind. Those in other nations came to know God through fellowshipping with Israel. That alone was worth the process that Israel had to go through. Similarly, others coming to know Christ is worth the difficulty that we experience.
Finally, we will need to keep our Eyes on Jesus
And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him, he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. – Hebrews 12:1-3
There is something comforting about looking at Jesus. A lot of what we’ve experienced—he has as well. He lost loved ones. His cousin John the Baptiste was murdered. He had family problems. His brothers invited him to go somewhere dangerous where his life would have been at risk before the proper time. Jesus refused to go with them and scripture says they did not believe in Jesus. Thus, Jesus lacked some family support.
Jesus was talked about, mocked, beaten, and spat on. All of this was on top of his family troubles and grief due to loss. But Jesus chose to go through the hard parts because of the joy he foresaw as a result of his endurance.
Like Christ, there will be a positive brighter side to our grief, hardship, and difficulty. What is God showing you about your future? What is something positive that you know God has used your difficulty to prepare you for? You are worth it! You can do this—meaning everything God is calling you to do. If you need healing to experience the brighter side—healing is coming. Remember healing is the children of God’s bread. Just like God promises to provide for us. He promises to heal us. If you aren’t there yet—you one day will be on the brighter side of grief.
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