So, I just have to address this phrase that is used so rapidly in and out of the church to point out a single in a negative instance of why they are still single as if being single is something negative. Where do people get their data from? Since when is it universally negative among believers that being single is a negative thing. Do Christians know that Jesus was single, John the Baptist was single, and Apostle Paul was single. Why were all of these great biblical figures single? Simply because they were about the will of their father. They knew what their purposes were and they hopped to it.
They were willing to make a sacrifice in order to do what God had called them to do. Whatever calling God calls us to there will be some amount of sacrifice because that is one of the core teaching of being a follower of Christ i.
God’s word says if any man will come after me, let him first deny himself and take up his cross and follow after me. Whether a person is called to be married or single they will sacrifice something as believers. That is why you have some married people who want to be single, and some single people who want to be married during their season of singleness because they no longer want to make a sacrifice.
Singles don’t want to sacrifice their sexual appetite while single, so they seek marriage, and married folk don’t want to sacrifice their selves, personal ambitions and dreams and some seek to be single. The key to contentment however is abiding in the calling that we are currently called to. If we as singles don’t see someone who is appropriate for us in our reach, we may be called to be single for a time. If married folks have made their vow of marriage committing to stick it out with someone, that is probably where they are called.
To everything there is a time and season to every purpose under the sunii. A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. If we know these things than why are so many singles ostracized, made to be outcasted, looked down upon, and made to feel as though there is something wrong with them for being single. Why is it that when a single is content and happy within that status; it is disdained or he or she is made to feel out of pocket, as though they are missing something. A person can be happy, content, fulfilled, and complete despite what others may think as a single individual.
The truth is there is a place of contentment for married people and single people alike and neither class should be looked at as lesser than or greater than just what a person is called to for the time-being.
I am not saying that singles who are content never want to be married, but we are cool with where we are at now until our season changes.
I want to contribute as much as I can to singles as they walk out their calling before I one day become married because singles are often misunderstood, and lack the proper ministry to be confident in their current shoes.
There is a place of contentment in Christ for singles where despite the fact that singles lack the benefits of marriage; it isn’t always noticeable what is lacked due to the blessing that is currently before the single individuals. For example, Adam & Eve were in the Garden of Eden naked. Being naked represents lack in the Bible or not having something. When Adam & Eve hid from God and God asked them why they were hiding; their response was we were naked. God responded saying, Who told you you were naked? In other words they had been so close to God and enamored with God in the Garden among all of their blessings that they did not know that they were naked or lacking something until they ate of the tree. Adam & Eve shifted their focus from what was important for them in that time which was keeping the commandment of God not to eat from the tree of good & evil. When their focus shifted from obedience to God to pursuing their own curiosities outside of God their world was opened up to see what they lacked and any other imperfections in the world.
Don’t allow someone else’s opinion of you and where you should be in life to distract you from where God has called you to for the time-being like the serpent did with Adam & Eve.
God wants us to be so close to him and enamored with the blessing of singleness that we don’t even realize we lack in certain areas such as having a spouse. God will meet the needs of intimacy that we desire as far as community, and having someone to conversate with who actually listens and contributes to us. As far as the hormones are concerned, God will quiet that for us until marriage where it’s really no big deal if we allow him. He will give us the grace as well for areas where we have fallen.
So, single people need to be confident people. It may take some time, but God will train us and hold us up. Therefore, don’t let anyone steal your contentment in Christ by telling you that’s why you are still single in a negative sense. Reject negativity right away especially when it comes from Christians because Christians are more influential to other Christians.
That’s why the word says not to hang with Christians who fornicate because that Christian will influence another Christian to compromise as well. Unfortunately, every Christian is not mature, and does not have the vision of God for your individual life. Just like Peter, one of Jesus’ beloved disciples did not always have the vision for Jesus’ life. He suggested inappropriate things due to his carnal fleshly thinking and Jesus rebuked him saying get thee behind me Sataniii. Peter was still God’s disciple but unlearned in various areas. It’s the same thing with believers nowadays. Know what to accept and to reject in order to continue to be bold, stable, and confident singles until your season changes.
iThen said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. Matthew 16:24
iiTo every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1
iiiBut when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men . Mark 8:33, KJV
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