I’ve been single for a while now. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it. It’s just my life and I am happy with it. Recently I discovered some people weren’t as happy with my singleness as I am. I had no idea my single status had such an effect on others. Apparently, quite a few opinions are floating around about me being single that I was unaware of.
As singles, we have to be careful about allowing opinions & stereotypes to be projected onto us. It can cause us to become frustrated with the journey if we’re not careful. Here are some of the things I’ve heard lately regarding my singleness:
1) Abstinent? Poor thing!
2) She doesn’t know how to submit to a man that’s why she’s still single.
3) She’s not getting any younger she should take whoever she can get.
4) A smart, pretty girl like her not married? Something must be wrong with her.
Do any of the above sound familiar? I could go on. To say I was surprised to find out that so many had been thinking about why I’m still single is an understatement. It’s weird. Why is there such a negative view of singleness? Singles, your unmarried status is not a problem or something to hurry & get over. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not to be pitied because you’re not having sex, too picky, or your standards are too high. As a matter of fact, Apostle Paul said, in comparison to marriage, our single status is advantageous.
In 1 Corinthians 7th chapter you can read the married vs single discussion. While our culture practically insists you have to have a boyfriend or girlfriend and has made marriage some type of status symbol―scripture has the total opposite view:
1 Corinthians 7:25-28 states:
Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
Singles you are in an amazing position. Please don’t see this as me bashing marriage. Many couples I know say they love being married but also express how weighty the new responsibilities are. What I am speaking to is the attitude that being single is something miserable, something to hurry through to get to the real prize―marriage.
Shake off the gloom of being alone & look around you. You can freely come & go, dream & build, serve & grow with no reservation or interruptions. You can minister in whatever capacity God calls you to without having to first secure the agreement of your spouse. Don’t let the opinions of others steal your joy. Don’t let what you see in others highlight reel on social media cause you to miss out on one of the greatest gifts ever given―singleness.
Live your best life now. Work on improving yourself now, develop a plan for your finances now instead of presumptuously waiting until marriage to ‘figure it out. Become the best you that you can be to the glory of God in your single season so that your married season will be that much more impactful & enjoyable.
V.I.R.G.I.N. walks you through a 7 day discovery journey of self-worth and reveals God’s vested interest in your future by using scripture and life lessons from the author’s life. She shares candidly about her commitment to remain abstinent until marriage and how that decision unexpectedly led her into her purpose. Purchase the author’s book, “Virgin The Book” at this link: Click here
LaWanna R. Wilson is a speaker, author and abstinence advocate. She possesses a Bachelors of Arts degree in Speech and Dramatic Arts from Fisk University. LaWanna’s love for writing began in third grade with journaling. It was also then that she began to dream of writing books. Her first book V.I.R.G.I.N. was birthed from a desire to start a conversation that she felt was rarely happening between her generation, Millennials and Gen Z regarding their worth & embracing their individual uniqueness. Her focus is to give them insight into the “real world” by using her personal experiences as an example, to help them identify their strengths and utilize those strengths to benefit their communities and their world. She interacts with them via workshops, small group studies and her weekly online live broadcast. LaWanna has a heart for international outreach as well. She has served as a full time missionary and her travels have taken her as far as Namibia. She has found in her travels that no matter where you go young people need someone to look them in the eye and remind them that they are seen, they have worth and they can make a difference.
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