Rejection and fear are the roots of a lot of issues that women deal with between one another. These root issues separate us making our relationships weak to non-existent. The end result of the mess that rejection brings about through jealousy, envy, and strife often leads women to an end of isolation. Everyone knows that isolation while at times can be a good thing if it draws us closer to God causing us to depend on him more, can also be a bad thing because people who are isolated in some forms can stunt their own growth. They often aren’t used to dealing with someone else correcting them. They are used to their own opinions with no opposing opinion which can open the door for pride. Isolated people also learn to be guarded people putting up walls taking on a spirit of I can do it all by myself. I don’t need anyone’s help which is not true. We all need one another.
Isolation can cause a person to be easy prey for the enemy as well. That’s why it’s good to bounce off feelings and thoughts on sisters to get a balanced perspective and not to drown in negativity. For some reason, it seems that our thoughts or at least my thoughts lean more toward the negative unless I direct them toward more positive thoughts intentionally.
Rejection is the fear of not being good enough, not being able to measure up, or being able to obtain something that we want. Rejection of one’s self leads to competition with others. Instead of appreciating our own uniqueness, we focus so much on the uniqueness of others that we despise ourselves and begin to emulate others thinking maybe then we will be accepted. All of this is rooted in the wrong perspective of ourselves the perspective of rejection.
My question to the rejected is who told you that you were rejected? Who told you that you were not good enough? We need to stop listening to the wrong opinion of ourselves because this will show up in the relationships that God is trying to give us with other women as sisters and cause us to forfeit those relationships which will cause us to potentially forfeit our growth in walking upstream against the tide of what has become so common with women rejection, competition, pride, envy, and strife.
Rejection and fear go hand in hand. Fear robs us of our peace causing us to be anxious. Fear of being alone. Well, if I am not pretty enough, I will not end up with anyone. Well, if I do not compete I will end up with nothing in the end. God says I have not given you the spirit of fear, but of love, power, and of a sound mind. Fear of rejection shows a lack of trust in God because us obtaining his promises are not contingent on how good we are or how pretty we are, but on how much we believe in God, and when we have faith and believe we will be willing to endure through anything until our promise is fulfilled.
Rejection is something that we all will have to face in our lives. We all have moments when we don’t feel good enough or pretty enough, but we have to have enough of the love of God in our hearts to push pass how we feel walking in love anyway toward ourselves first and then toward others.
There is so much pressure placed on women to be beautiful, to stand out that we do not always balance our image of ourselves well. I remember having a conversation with one of my friends back in college years ago at SSC (South Suburban College). We were having a conversation about how some women are so beautiful that we would not think that they would ever have problems with self-esteem. The young lady told me that she thought that I would be one of those girls who would not have a problem with self-esteem. I thought to myself hmm, don’t know why she would have that idea, I’m just me you know nothing extra special.
The reality is that sometimes we can reject ourselves when other people aren’t even thinking about us in a negative way. Sometimes, God may give our sister the right perspective of us or other people to re-affirm us, but we cannot see it ourselves because of the rejection. We all no matter how beautiful the world may consider us, deal with insecurities and rejection and that is why we need a relationship with God and one another to build each other up.
Leave a Reply