Revisiting Submission

Submission is a huge conversation and an important one. It’s important to have a balanced view of what submission is and how it works. Submission defined by the Cambridge dictionary says the act of accepting the power or authority of someone else. We all are required to submit to something or someone out of respect.

“Respect: A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. Due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others (Oxford Languages Dictionary.)”

Submission starts with respect. Respect for whoever or whatever we are submitting to. We respect the laws of the land, the law of gravity, water, and more. If we break the laws of the land, there will be consequences such as jail or fines.

disrespecting the law of gravity, what goes up must come down, could result in death. If we disrespect the wisdom in holding our breath underwater or learning to swim and breathe properly before entering deep water—we could drown. The same type of chaos or disruption can take place if we choose disrespect in our romantic relationships.

Submission to God First

Submission starts with respect for God and then for one another. The Bible teaches us that all we do should be done as unto the Lord. As single women, we should be living our lives in submission to God. This means respect for his laws, direction, voice, word, and the like.

The result is us abiding under the covering of the Lord. Men should carry themselves in the same way. When seeking a spouse—women should look for men who demonstrate as a natural part of their character submission to God. Submission to God in deed and word. Not word only.

Wives in Submission to Their Husbands

This is crucial as women are in a position to submit to their husbands once married. This means to trust our husband’s leadership allowing him to have the last word in the decisions made for the family. This doesn’t mean women do not have a voice or should not be heard. It simply means the husband has the last word and the wife yields her trust to her husband’s leadership.

Submission to One Another

Husbands and wives are also required to submit one to the other out of the fear of the Lord & mutual respect. Often, this perspective of submission isn’t taught much in churches but scripture also teaches husbands and wives to submit to one another.

“Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ – Ephesians 5:21”

This was explained by a married couple with several years of marriage behind them in one of the churches I attended. The wife and the husband yielded to one another in various things out of respect and reverence for God and one another. This is also a beautiful picture of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The Lord Jesus led in serving the church washing the church’s feet. He left the church with the message that the church should wash one another’s feet. In other words, submission should not be required out of selfishness but out of servant leadership.

Also, servanthood should be reciprocated within the marriage relationship. This means the husband doesn’t only require submission from his wife but serves his wife. The wife; in turn, serves the husband as a natural response to his servant-leadership. It’s like an act of worship as appreciation for him serving her. It works together like a well-oiled machine.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, given God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. – Romans 12:1”

The above scripture reference creates a picture of Christ and his bride, the church. In response to God’s goodness and mercy—God’s bride presents herself to God in submission as an act of worship. This shows both the metaphorical husband and the wife laying down their lives for one another out of respect for God and mutual respect for one another. No one in the marriage only considers his or her own thing but what’s best for one another.

The man leads in serving the wife and the wife responds with respect and submission to her husband serving him in return just like Christ washed his disciple’s feet and taught them to wash one another’s feet. Mutual Servanthood is a picture of mutual submission.

The example the leader shared at church was that he was a pastor who would stay late at the church. His wife felt neglected because she regularly had to eat dinner by herself. The two came to a compromise that he would make it home for dinner considering her feelings by a certain time. He submitted to her request out of respect for her feelings.

Perverted Form of Submission

There is a perverted form of submission heralded by the world. It’s a partial understanding that submission is necessary but in a form that belittles a woman underneath a man or a man underneath a woman.

The belittling attitude that treats male-female relationships like a competition between one another is perverted. Scripture is clear that a woman is not to usurp authority over a man and that men as a result of the fall will rule over women.

The perversion of submission causes a man to seek to rule over a woman in a selfish and domineering way. It doesn’t consider the feelings or needs of the wife but the rules and final say of the husband alone. Husbands are commanded by God to dwell with their wives according to knowledge. This will allow men to make decisions that consider their wives rather than exclude their feelings.

The feminists’ ideas that women should only rule or the patriarchal ideas that men should only rule and control things are perverted. The working machine that God ordained is for both the husband and the wife to consider one another and to in turn submit to one another. Thus, submission is more about serving one another under the protection of submission to Christ.

Those who are unsubmitted to the Lord will not get this and will create unavoidable strife within their relationships. On the contrary, the Biblical type of submission discussed in this article will result in unity and God commands his blessing where there is unity.

How wonderful, how beautiful, when brothers and sisters get along! It’s like costly anointing oil flowing down head and beard, Flowing down Aaron’s beard, flowing down the collar of his priestly robes. It’s like the dew on Mount Hermon flowing down the slopes of Zion. Yes, that’s where GOD commands the blessing, ordains eternal life. – Psalms 133:1, 3