Just like a woman of God compromises by going with a man who does not know his identity in Christ and she ends up having to put up with more than God intended because of it; Men do the same thing with women who lack identity in Christ.
Many men find a physically attractive woman, and this solidifies them in the idea of trying to clean the woman up by introducing her to Christ, church, and submission.
These men, like many women, begin to disciple these women. In rare cases, it may work out, but in many cases, it will not. The woman may place the guy on a pedal stool because if he is genuinely saved, he is different than any other man she has been with.
Consequently, as soon as she gets close and sees the man is simply just a man, she may resort back to her common behavior for solving problems which may be carnal and divisive in nature; instead of likewise covering her man with respect, forgiveness, honor, mutual affection, and prayer.
The truth of the matter is when a man is looking for a wife, he should use wisdom and do like Jesus by only choosing to attempt to prune a woman who is already bringing forth fruit in her life.
He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. – John 15:2
When the husbandman (Jesus) sees us bringing forth fruit then he selects us to be pruned to bring forth more fruit. The ones who don’t bring forth any fruit the husbandman discards by burning in the fire. In other words, he pays it no mind as if it doesn’t exist. He refuses to waste time with it. He invests in that which shows it is worth the investment.
Why do men of God try to be the hero to someone who doesn’t want to be saved? Could it be that some men of God have an issue within themselves? Could it be that some men do not believe they are worth more?
I will be honest. When I tried to make it work with a guy who wasn’t on my level, it was partly because I did not believe I deserved more. The only men who had come to pursue me were men who weren’t on my level, and so I judged my worth falsely by how others saw me instead of how God saw me.
I only share that because of Christian men and women go through the same things. We just don’t discuss it and because of that we suffer trying to figure these things out on our own. We don’t have to do that. We can love one another and cover one another while standing in God’s truth together.
The truth is God has his best for both men and women. We should expect an inheritance from God not because we’ve been good, done everything wrong or right, but simply because we are sons and daughters of God. Sons and daughters of the king always get the best because through the kingdom they have become the best. The best is what Jesus Christ, the King of Kings has done for us.
So, I encourage my brothers to know your worth and stand boldly in it as men of God not settling or expending yourself on women who do not know how to properly value you. You weren’t made to be drained in attempting to give a woman an identity that she can only get from God. You can be a light, but protect your heart and save it for a woman of God who will value you as her head and assist you in holding down the home together.
She will know how to hold her tongue at times and when to speak up because she has already been trained by the Holy Spirit and wise counsel. She will know how to build up her man and not tear him down. She will know how to apply wisdom to make the money last in the home because she already practices these things with God.
Don’t be in a rush, but allow God to make you into a solid man of God who loves Jesus and depends on him. This will prevent you from having to always be on–work for a woman’s approval impressing her with money, and vain things. She will love you for you and be willing to build with you instead of wear you out. This is what you could have if you allow yourself to be built enough by God to choose wisely.
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