A common question that circles through singles’ groups is, if you wait until marriage, how do you know the sex will be good? The answer is simple: It depends on what you are building with your marriage partner.
Selfishness Guarantees Bad Sex
If your marriage is based on selfishness and simply pleasing you, the sex may be bad. However, if both parties come to the marriage ready to serve one another, the marriage bed will be great.
It may not start great as sex with someone new is a process. Each person brings their history, experience, or lack thereof to the marriage bed. This is where those involved have to have something more than just physical attraction tying them to the person they’ve picked.
Patience, Communication & Humility Will Help Guarantee a Strong Marriage & Sex Life
Things like patience, communication, humility, and a willingness to serve the other while denying oneself, will create a safe place of vulnerability and openness. This will bond the couple together and create a launching pad for further sexual exploration and growth.
This is what happened in Yvette and Glen Henry’s experience. Yvette was a virgin at the time of their marriage while Glen had recommitted himself to abstinence for some years. He was determined to protect his wife through her lack of experience. Unwilling for her to be compared to previous partners or to feel unworthy; He beautifully took his concerns to God about her lack of experience and shyness around the topic of sex.
Through Glen’s love and care for Yvette, she had a place of safety to explore learning more about her own body and how to please her husband and be pleased at the same time as a wife. Yvette brought up the point that many women do not know that it’s okay for them to experience pleasure within a marriage.
Taking Responsibility for Our Experiences Bought to the Marriage Makes it Stronger Increasing the Sexual Intimacy as Well
Yvette took responsibility for her lack of experience and was provided a book to learn about her body and sex. After reading, she began to open up more to her husband and discuss it with him. Now, they experience a thriving sex life that has produced a beautiful family.
The stories of Glen, Yvette, Sarah, Abigail, and Daryl communicate the need for selflessness in marriage, patience, a willingness to deny ourselves to protect our partner and the marriage, and to take responsibility for healing, while learning and growing to protect our partner and our marriage.
As someone with limited experience myself, it means so much to see someone like Yvette thriving in a healthy relationship where she feels safe. Culture often teaches us that a lack of sexual experience or an extensive relationship history makes us ineligible for love. However, that’s a lie.
Limited Experience Does Not Guarantee Bad Sex
Inexperienced singles have just as much value and share the same body parts as the experienced. Therefore, sexual love isn’t guaranteed to be lacking in a marriage. Those with extensive sexual histories who have experienced molestation that led to promiscuity can also have a healthy thriving marriage as shown by Sarah’s testimony in the video.
Christ can restore each of us and heal us from all trauma no matter the background.
See the entire interview below:
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