How do you respond to God’s call to a higher standard and how does that call affect the mate that you choose to have?

How do you respond to God’s call to a higher standard and how does that call affect the mate that you choose to have? Can you tell the difference between a good man/woman and a godly man/woman?

The Bible says that many are called, but those that are chosen are few. One of my teachers once said that everyone is called of God, but everyone is not chosen of God because everyone does not answer that call. How do you respond to God’s call to a higher standard and how does that call affect the mate that you choose to have?

It’s crazy the time that we are living in where people treat God’s standards as if they are a thing of the past even some Christians. People see it as more important to fit in and be like everyone else instead of responding properly to the call of God on their lives.

I’ve heard Christians say such things as it relates to being holy and pure in their singleness: Some people just have that gift to live for God in their singleness. However, the person who viewed living in obedient life to God as a single as a gift alone was off in his understanding.

Living obedient to God in singleness or marriage is a choice. It is a choice that starts with denying one’s-self. An appropriate response to God’s command to maintain holiness and purity in singleness as the Word of God admonishes is Romans 12:1:

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”Romans 12:1-2 (KJV)

As believer’s our job is not to live for ourselves or to fit in with the world or even other believers who practice disobedience to God. Our job is to respond to the call of God properly on our lives with obedience.

Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God. 1 Corinthians 7:23-24

God’s standard and way of doing things is higher than ours. Honestly, I’m so glad that I’ve learned to do things according to God’s standard because things are easier this way. That doesn’t mean it will always be easy obeying God, but it will be easier than going through unnecessary changes to get back to that duh moment of I should have done things God’s way to begin with.

The Bible says that as believers we are a peculiar people, a holy nation set apart to show forth the praises of God who has called us out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9 (KJV).

Don’t be afraid to be peculiar, not to fit in all the time, not to be popular with the people. It is more important to please God and to be popular in the eyes of God than man. I did something that was peculiar for my 28th birthday. First, I met Mary Mary for the first time and told them how much I loved them, I went to a nice restaurant and got my free dinner, but what was peculiar was I went to the Sybaris all by myself.

The Sybaris is normally a romantic getaway for couples. I had gone to a dinner in relation to my job and won a gift certificate to the Sybaris. Originally, I thought to myself should I give this away to a couple or believe God for a husband before this expires, or lastly should I take my single butt and go by myself anyway. I was really stressed at work at the time working 2-3 different positions. I was living with my family and needed some time away from everything just to have some peace and some quiet time with the Lord.

Sidenote: Don’t be afraid as a single to do things on your own or with a person who isn’t a significant other such as a friend or cousin. You don’t know when God will send the right one and you don’t want to set yourself up to be anxious if the wrong one comes along. So, purpose to enjoy your life where you are at now as a single person. I had people to tell me I was awkward and weird for going to the Sybaris without a man, but I went anyway.

I bought my Bible with me, swim-suit, and some relaxing jazz music. There was a bottle of sparkling apple cider waiting on me in the room, a jacuzzi, sauna, electronic massage chair, and a pretty fireplace.

I got there and took lots of pictures, played my jazz music, got a massage, read a book in the jacuzzi, and had some quiet time with the Lord. During my quiet time, God took me to the story of Saul, who was a King in the Bible (1 Samuel 15).

Saul was called to be King of Israel, but Saul was a king who displeased God because Saul’s response to the call of God that was on his life was to be disobedient to God. The Bible says that Saul made the choice to disobey God because he wanted to please the people. He wanted to fit in with the people that God had called him to serve.

God ended up saying that he wish he had never made Saul King. God removed him as king and replaced him with a man who was after his own heart. Saul went from being chosen to being called but not responding properly to the call of God that was on his life.

We have to be careful as believers what people we choose to listen to because if we listen to the wrong ones, we could end up all the way out of our position and calling that God has designated for our lives just like Saul. Saul should have listened to the prophet Samuel, who was ordained to be a voice of wisdom from God in his life. Too often we as humans we go with our nature and popular thinking and refuse the wisdom of God that has been placed in our lives.

How many leaders are out there reading this blog,  who despise what God has called them to in order to fit in? How many people have changed who God called them to be in order to be in a relationship?

How does our response to God’s calling to a higher standard affect the spouse that we decide to choose for ourselves? Can we as believers discern between a good man/woman vs. a godly man/woman? If the relationship that you are pursuing forces you to be something other than what God has called you to be then the relationship is not for you, and if you choose the relationship it will hinder where you are supposed to go.

I recently went out with a good man according to the standards of the world. He told me he was in the process of getting himself together, which is respectable and I applaud that 110%, but I was still able to realize that even though the brother is a good man, he isn’t a man who is ready for a woman like me yet. In the future, possibly he will be ready but that is between him and God. I have made my resolve a long time ago that I cannot change a man, neither will I try.

So, the gentlemen and I we’re out at dinner talking, and the brother said:

“I am looking for a wife who can get with me on not just a physical level, but a mental level. Now, I may get her pregnant before we get married, but my intentions are to marry her. Also, I know about God, I know about Jesus, but that is not my thing. I try to stay away from that because of an experience I had in the past. I’ll go to church though.”

Was the brother a good brother? Yes, he was. He worked a job responsibly. He was a gentlemen who opened doors, walked me to the car afterward, paid for the meal, and did not disrespect me. He was a good dude, but was he a godly dude? I would have to say not yet.

I talked to another gentlemen who grew up in the church. His parents are ministers, but the brother likes to play around pursuing several different women at one time and seeing how far he can go sexually with them. Is he a good dude? Yes, he works a job responsibly, has an education, says a few scriptures here and there, even prays, takes care of his body, opens doors, initiates pursuing a woman, handy around the house and with vehicles and such. Is he a godly dude? Not yet.

The last gentleman even though well entrenched in things pertaining to God has not made the choice nor learned the value in denying himself out of obedience to Christ which is only reasonable. If I chose either gentlemen based on the standard of the world for good men. I would be placing myself in a situation of conflict. There would always be an un-meeting of the minds until finally one party gives in and changes their stance by either lowering my standard or one of the gentlemen coming up to my standard. However, it’s always easier to lower your standard than to come up to someone else’s standard.

If I chose the second gentlemen, I would always be fighting for purity or exclusivity in our marriage. The Bible says the marriage bed is holy and undefiled. That is something that must be guarded. To be pure or undefiled means just that pure, exclusive, one flowing stream of love between the husband and wife who are one. Not multiple streams of love between several different people in a marriage.

A person needs to get that strait before marriage. A person needs to guard his purity between himself and God before marriage, and he will be more likely to attempt to guard the purity between himself and his wife after marriage. Just a good man is not good enough for me. I have to have a godly man. I don’t just want someone who will attend a church, I want someone who is the church. Someone who responds to the standard that God has on his life in an appropriate manner. That is the man who will be chosen for me.

I encourage you to examine yourself and ask yourself, “Are you responding to God’s call on your life properly through obedience and humility allowing God to grow you and mature you in him, or are you hiding who you are as a believer in the efforts of fitting in with the world and those around you?

The sum of the question is that we all have a choice as believers to obey or to disobey? Even if a person who is called runs from his calling he may still be used of God one way or the other. The question is how will he decide to be used of God in a way that honors himself and God or in a way that dishonors himself, yet honors God. God can use our mistakes and hard-headed disobedience to teach others that his way is better. However, this is not the best way to be used of God because it will be harder than standing for God’s way that he called us to in the first place.

20 But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honor, and some to dishonor. 2 Timothy 2:20

Saul was still used of God but not in the way that God had originally planned. His decisions of self-will and disobedience got him rejected as king, yet those of us who read about him take a lesson from his story and thus God is glorified even in that. However, if Saul had it to do all over again he may have made a different choice.

What choices are you making as a person who has been called of God? Are you making choices based off of God’s word or the opinions of others?

We know that All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. 2 Timothy 3:16. Also, we know that as believers we are washed and cleansed through the Word of God. (Ephesians 5:26) Lastly, we make our way prosperous and are guaranteed to have good success even in the keeping of the commandments of the Lord through his word. (Joshua 1:8)

So here are some additional scriptures to meditate on: 1 Corinthians 6:13-20, Proverbs 5:15-20

I hope the below song encourages you to be provoked to give God your all: