So, last week I was asked a question on a radio show interview of whether I masturbate or not. The host looked at me very intently slightly surprised by my answer. My answer was simply not anymore. I went on to share that it had been several years since I had been delivered from that. In that short bit of my answer, I dismantled the lie that the enemy loves to hold over our heads as we try to come to Christ which is the lie that says we are not good enough to come to God because of the sin that we struggle with.
The pretense that I was booked for the show in addition to my book was that I am a 33 year old virgin. Immediately, in people’s mind the thought tends to arise that to be a Christian and a virgin means perfection, but the opposite is true. One of the major lies that I love to dismantle is the lie of condemnation that says living in victory over sexual sin is only for certain people. The devil is a liar! Living in victory over sexual sin is for everyone who wants it.
We all fall short in some way. If we aren’t having sex physically, we may be thinking about having sex with someone who we aren’t married to. The Bible makes it clear that to just think upon a person in a lustful way in our hearts is sin (Matthew 5:28). So, it is not about appearing to be good, but about depending on Jesus Christ because we know that we are not good on our own, and that depending on Christ is what makes us godly.
It is godly to realize that we cannot do good on our own. We are not strong enough on our own to do the things that please God. That is why we have to consistently look to God, and his word allowing his word to cleanse us, and his grace to enable us to come to him even past the feelings of condemnation.
I am reminded of the guy in the Bible who asked Jesus what was required to enter into the kingdom of heaven. Jesus mentioned to him about the keeping of the commandments and so forth. The brother confident in his resume shared that he has kept all of the commandments since he was a child. He called Jesus good master. Jesus used that as an opportunity to teach asking why he would call him good. He went on saying there is none good, but the father.
If you want to enter into the kingdom of heaven, you will need to sell all that you have, and give it to the poor and then come and follow me, Jesus said. That was a hard saying for the man to swallow and he turned and walked away. The man was dependent on his good record to get him into the kingdom. I think he may have wanted Jesus to say: Awe, you good bro! We got your clean sleigh in heaven.
But the truth is God doesn’t want us to trust in our works alone, but to trust in him alone. When we trust in him alone, good works will automatically come because that is when God begins to change our nature (natural way of doing things) to that of his. This is why we bring forth good fruit from dwelling in Christ (John 15). Our good works our produced out of fellowship with God whether than prideful piety that can save and deliver no man.
This is also why God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. When we realize our inabilities, we open ourselves up to see God’s ability. So, for those who choose to look at me as if I am some sort of good or perfect woman who is seeking a good or perfect man. That is untrue. I am a woman who has learned to rely on Christ, and the man that I choose to marry will be a man who is imperfect, but has chosen to rely on Christ as well. Our deeds alone are not enough, but God is.
Please, don’t choose to believe the lie of condemnation that says that we are not good enough to come to Christ because of our weaknesses or struggles. Don’t choose to believe the lie that says we should separate ourselves from God, his people or his house until we overcome in areas of weakness in the flesh. Our weaknesses should be more of a reason to come to Christ, and when we do we will then learn to become godly men and women.
Sidenote: The old school tried to shame people into doing what was right, but God’s word says that it is his goodness that draws and leads us to repentance.
Check out my book: The Single Christian Woman’s Guide for more on overcoming sexual sin. I have a whole chapter on that called, “All About the Hormones.
“Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? Romans 2:4 (NIV)
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
For more on God’s Grace Read the article, “The Misinterpretation of God’s Grace“
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