Regret is to feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity (Google Dictionary). Dealing with regret successfully will require the application of the main points provided in my book, “The Wholeness Action Plan.”
The Wholeness Action Plan was written as a book to share how to get through hard circumstances in life that may have occurred either within or outside of our control. Some of the main points covered in the book that can assist with overcoming regret are below:
Make a choice
With regret, we have to also make a choice. We have to choose not to punish ourselves for what has already been done. Our constant replaying of an incident that led to regret or grief will only continue to make us feel sad about what has happened and what we did not do that we wish we could have done. We cannot go back into the past and change the past, but we do have the hope of changing and impacting our future. Placing ourselves in a prison of blame and bondage only makes us forget that we have a future. God has not condemned us for being human. We have to make a choice not to condemn ourselves.
Regret is another form of worrying that leads to condemnation. God is clear in his Word that His intentions are not to condemn the world, but that the world through Him would have life and that more abundantly (John 3:17, John 10:10). There is still a hopeful future for you despite the regret. Choose to use regret to learn from it. Apply what you’ve learned to your healthy and bright future. The worry of regret will not change things.
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? – Luke 12:25 (NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11
Choose to forgive
We are supposed to love others as we love ourselves, right? Well, if this is true, and we’re required to forgive others; we have to also forgive ourselves. Maybe we regret that we did not do something that we should have done or maybe we did not have information in a moment of crisis that we have now. Or perhaps, we were too weak or full of anxiety to act in a crisis and we shut down. Whatever the regret is we have to choose to forgive ourselves for it. We also need to bring the area of weakness to God so He can give us strength in that area to do better next time. Life is full of challenges, situations, and experiences where we will make mistakes and we will not perform our best. Some situations we will simply just not know what to do until we get there and that’s okay. Give yourself a break. Let yourself breathe. Commit to forgiving yourself anytime the thought of regret comes up. Remind yourself that you’ve forgiven yourself and you are only moving forward from this point. File the experience as a lesson learned for the next time you face a similar challenge.
Take Responsibility
Finally, taking responsibility is the humility within us to admit we were wrong, we fell short, or maybe we dropped the ball. Again, it’s okay, because we are human, but apply what was learned from this experience to the next opportunity.
You are worth it. You are loved, and worthy of living your life in more than regret. Be free from the prison of regret to move forward and live.
Leave a Reply