I love Fantasia. She is one of my favorite artists not only for her sanging but her realness and vulnerability in allowing the public to see what God is doing in her life. I think it’s so encouraging. I remember watching a documentary special of her sharing her testimony on YouTube. More recently, she commented on The Breakfast Club on why most women cannot find a man and its because they are trying to be the leader. She shared that it is a generational curse that stemmed from women being forced into the male role due to irresponsible men who leave women to raise the kids on their own. She shared that women become so bold and bad that they no longer know how to be soft women.
I’d have to agree that Fantasia makes a very real and legitimate point about women being forced into male roles, and thus not knowing how to operate outside of that when a man comes. I’ve also seen single women who have no kids who have become just as hard because of not encountering men who want to fulfill the role of protecting, covering, and leading a woman. Thus, women say to themselves, they don’t need a man out of bitterness and hardness toward men not stepping up. I’ve talked about this before. Bitterness is a trap that prevents us from giving and receiving love.
The only grievance I have with what Fantasia said is that’s why most women are single. Many women have overcome the let down of not knowing or encountering mature men of God who are ready to step up to the plate. These women have overcome by simply trusting in God and re-shifting their focus from those men to hope in God that a real brotha exists.
However, because these women are also single; they get lumped into a category that I view as condemnation. Women are condemned by some of the church culture for being single as if there is something wrong with them for that. It is because they will not submit, their a Jezebel, or God forbid other very mean things that church culture implies and imposes as labels on singles.
This pressure to get from underneath the umbrella of singleness to prove worthiness as women can be very harmful to women. A single woman should not focus so much on submitting to a man but reviewing the man’s character to see if he is worthy of submission. It should not be that she is looking to submit to a man just to be married.
Thankfully, Fantasia and her husband shared a video later on their Instagram to balance out the conversation and provide more insight into the male perspective. In short, her husband shared that many men have abused the gift of submission using it only to dominate and control instead of modeling submission first. Mr. Taylor shared that he models submission first in his submitting to God by feeding himself with the Word of God and becoming knowledgeable in important areas. Then, he shows his wife and she willingly follows. This is the precedent that he set for his house and it’s working. He gave an analogy of submission being a beautiful song and dance between two lovers. Thus, it takes two to submit. It isn’t all just on the woman, but the woman and the man work together.
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