I met Damika Davis at a speaking engagement. We both were speaking to students about their future. Damika is an author who started a foundation that helps single mothers pursue their own businesses. Her book, “Enduring the Single Mother Struggle” empowers single moms to stand firm in their identity, purpose, and right to an awesome future. Some of the nuggets she shares with single moms are below:
Danika acknowledged the temptation to quit
Danika discussed the challenge of facing each day as a single mom and sometimes wanting to just quit. However, quitting isn’t a choice when there are children dependent on their mom. This struggle causes moms to be tempted with looking for ways to get out of single motherhood such as relocating or seeking a new relationship. She shares that single mothers will have to shift their focus from how hard it is. Instead, she shared that the focus of a single mother should be on God and being responsible for taking care of her children. That includes working until God opens up other options.
She quickly moves the reader toward hope
The deed has been done. However, the single mother has become single rather through divorce, out of wedlock pregnancy, or losing a partner to death. The mother will have to embrace who she is as she moves forward in hope toward her future. “Shine like the stars in the universe and use what you have,” says Danika. She again, stresses the importance of the reader knowing who she is by saying, “When we know who we are; our children will not find it hard to discover who they are.”
A strong condemnation for punishing your child for the regret of being with their father
She says women should resist being the bitter woman who keeps the children away from the father in an attempt to punish and control the situation.
The Importance of a Support System as well as Self-care
Do you know who your support system is? If you do not, you need to establish one, Danika shares. These people should be trust-worthy people who will tell you the truth and hold you accountable. They can be friends, family, church members etc.
“Strive for a balance of time with your children, time for exercise to stay healthy, time for rest, and time to build a relationship with somebody other than your children.” All of these things contribute to self-care and a more balanced single mom who often gives of herself in overwhelming ways.
There is still hope for Genuine Love
Probably one of my favorite parts is when she encouraged single moms not to settle because they had kids. She reminded single mothers that they are still worthy of God’s best also. She shares how if a man loves you he will love you with all you come with including your children. She shares great tips on dating and observing the character of a man.
The women who read this book are encouraged to continue to grow and to continue to live. Danika makes it crystal clear that life is not over because one has become a single-mother, but life is just beginning in a new way. She encourages new mothers to be up for the challenge. She even includes words of wisdom and advice from other single mothers in the back of the book. There are self-reflection questions to help assess where one is at in her single mother journey.
Danika has lived through being a single mother and is now engaged to be married. She is an example that single-motherhood can be done well as we’ve seen on many occasions. To be a part of a support group for single parents visit: https://www.singleandparenting.org/startagroup/howitworks
To purchase Dannika’s book visit: https://www.amazon.com/Enduring-Single-Mother-Struggle-Damika/dp/0985590017
Leave a Reply