Don’t allow anyone to cause you to lessen the way that you see yourself bringing you down to an image that you are not:
It is God’s will that we will have a healthy self esteem about ourselves. We are made in God’s image and likeness (Genesis 1:27) . Therefore we learn from God how to view ourselves.
Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world (We take our cues for our self-esteem and image from the Lord). 1 John 4:17
God does not reward nor allow a lowered image of himself. All throughout scripture. God warns his people not to worship other gods or to bring him down to an image that is not who he is. In Isaiah, the Lord reminds his people who he is. “I am the Lord your God, the first and last, and besides me there is no god. (Isaiah 44:6)” God is bold in proclaiming who he is, and he settles for nothing less than being respected, feared, and reverenced for who he is.
How much more should we take on a similar attitude not allowing how we see ourselves to be bought down or lessened in any way from who we are in Christ. In this world as believers, we are often provided with opportunities to step down into a lower image than who we are. For example: I am a housing counselor at my job which requires me to be in private areas such as offices, or conferences rooms with clients collecting, disseminating, and discussing private information regarding housing matters, budgets of clients, and such.
In some cases where my client has been a male; there have been inappropriate invitations for me to reduce myself to something lower then who I am. In those cases, I’ve had to be very clear in maintaining how I am to be perceived by the client as a professional contact only and nothing more.
In rare cases, when a client is overtly inappropriate, the client can be re-assigned to other counselors, or provided with a dismissal letter to no longer work with the client. Why? Because a standard of who I am as a housing counselor toward the client must be upheld in order for us to peacefully work together. If appropriate boundary lines are crossed; there must be an adjustment in how we deal with those people.
It is the same way in our personal lives. When we come across someone who absolutely refuses to respect us for who we are, and who seeks to bring us down to an image other than who we are, we need to first have a conversation with them if possible. When a conversation does not work, and their behavior toward us is still inappropriate, we have no choice, but to cut them loose.
The individual then misses out on who we really are. In the above example the client has to then go somewhere else to get the service he really needs. In the same manner, those who treat us inappropriately taking us for granted and looking at us in a manner lower than who we are miss out on what we could have provided to them had they respected us. We should do ourselves a favor, and allow them to miss out on us. They should have made another choice to respect us and to honor us for who we really were. Sidenote: This is not an excuse for unforgiveness. We should always forgive, but that does not mean that we have to still entertain someone.
The above is an obvious example. There are some less obvious examples that single women tend to put up with for not knowing who they are or having unresolved issues. I believe God cares about our unresolved issues and questions of our own worth and he addresses them with his word.
Not so obvious examples:
When a man seeks to pursue, but doesn’t give any time to the woman he is pursuing
This is a lowered image. He is communicating to the woman that she isn’t that important to him. Definitely not important enough for him to re structure his schedule and make time for what he says he values. That woman is his convenient relationship and not his priority. This is a lesser image. The man misses out on all that she has to offer due to treating her in that way.
The man who isn’t that busy and just plays games with a woman’s heart leading her on but offering no commitment nor communicating clearly his intentions: The enemy will use this to make us feel like we aren’t worth it especially if the man doing this is a true believer. It’s easy to question our worth at this point. It doesn’t matter if they are a believer or not, we don’t have to put up with it. If after we have talked and sought to resolve it, the person is consistent with their devalued treatment of us, it is okay not to reward them with our presence. This keeps us in a clear frame of mind of who we are, and what we are worth.
Our image of ourselves should always line up with who God says we are, not how people treat us or the image that they invite us into to lower ourselves. When men sought to lower God down to an image of wood, or things made with hands; God did not respond to those things nor reward those people with his presence. Instead God judged those acts so that it would be clear that that particular behavior toward God is completely unacceptable. God doesn’t answer to a lowered image of himself, and neither should we God’s precious children made in his image.
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