I wonder if anybody else out there gets afraid like I do when an appropriate man of God approaches. It is so weird because I am almost relieved when I hear that certain single men are engaged or getting married because it provides a clear boundary for me not to have to deal with a guy on a certain level. There are so many men who are saved and feel that all they have to do is approach a girl and she is supposed to be down. Well, I don’t do that. That’s just not what I am used to.
It seems like an oxymoron to have a desire for a husband and get afraid when an appropriate brother approaches, but I have discovered that I get afraid of this when I haven’t heard from God regarding a brother. I consider my brothers in the Lord who are genuine to be rare and precious, and I do not want to hurt them. I am afraid that if I allow my heart to get involved immediately and God later says he isn’t the one then I will hurt him or he will hurt me. I just want to avoid all of that drama.
Therefore, when I first meet a guy. I don’t give off immediate signs of being interested in him for more than friendship. I hold on to my heart guarding it carefully as I hope to get to know him, but this has also driven guys away who were afraid of rejection from me not being clear on what I wanted right away, but how could I intend to want more when I did not really know the guy nor hear God on the matter.
There are two many rules and pressures of what to do and what not to do. So much so, that it is easy to feel like I am not doing the right thing or going about things the right way and therefore I am loosing out. I had the question about this in my heart as I prayed tonight, and the scripture came to my mind that says God knows what we need even before we ask (Matthew 6:10).
God knows where I am at, and what I need. It doesn’t throw God for a loop with our insecurities, issues, or concerns of any kind. His promises will come to pass regardless, and we need not disqualify ourselves for not feeling as though we are doing everything perfect.
God knows that I am guarded when it comes to meeting men, and he is able to give me someone who can deal with me being guarded and actually be thankful that I am so guarded and unwilling to let just anyone in.
All my life, I have had to tell men no over and over again. I’ve prayed to God for an appropriate gentlemen that I can tell yes, but how will I know that the guy is safe to tell yes unless the Lord reveals it to me. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. It’s just me wanting to hear God on the matter of who I choose to give my heart to. God has always dealt with me about various men, so if he could tell me no for many men surely he can tell me yes.
Recently, I sought the Lord about a seemingly appropriate brother, and the Lord let me know that he would let me know at the appropriate time regarding him and he’d also give me peace. This is what I am in expectation of is peace from God concerning my husband who I will lay on the alter of prayer before God my heavenly father, who covers me and protects my heart as I look to him. So, no I cannot just immediately off the bat give a man my heart or hand unless I have heard from God. I can give him my prayerful consideration and friendship however, and I think that is fair.
I’d like to hear your thoughts. Please, feel free to comment below:
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