Recently, I was made aware of a show called “The Talk Back” series by Poet Ezekiel Azonwu. He has a YouTube channel called “The Azonwus” where his series can be watched. It’s an experiment where there are three urban men and three urban women who are seated with their backs turned toward one another. They ask each other questions and respond freely without seeing the facial reactions of the others.
During part 1, the ladies ask each of the men why they are single and the first brother shared that many single Christian women do not take personal accountability. Further, he shared that many single Christian women do not know what accountability is. He went on to make the point sharing that many women have dealt with such low-quality men; that they have not honestly had to look at themselves taking responsibility for where they fall short because they’re so distracted by the low-quality men.
I believe there is some truth to the above statement and it’s a scary thing for women in that position because those women aren’t yet humbly self-aware. Because they aren’t humbly self-aware of their faults or need for personal growth for focusing on the dirt of low-quality potentials; they fail to take action to make healthy changes. They do not see the need to make a change because to them they are okay. This is a common coping mechanism of the insecure. They find someone worse off or weaker than them to make themselves feel they are okay. It’s a legit issue.
I’ve experienced this myself with women who have attempted to date my brothers. We’d normally become friendly until they see an imperfect part of one of my brothers and that’s when they’ve wanted to have a trash my brother session with me, which is not appropriate. However, the immaturity in them not taking personal responsibility doesn’t communicate to them that the whole thought of putting down a relative to another relative is disrespectful. I think the pride and immaturity of not taking self-accountability blinds some women from what is normal and appropriate.
There has been an assumption with some women because I encourage and minister to women that I would agree with certain behaviors such as not taking responsibility or hating on men. That’s simply untrue. I’ve learned to be a balanced woman of balanced discernment, who has embraced the fact that I am human with weaknesses of my own. Thus, I humbly take account of my weaknesses even if it’s uncomfortable, and I pray for those who are too immature to do so. However, when confronted consistently with women, who are this way, who expect me to be on their side; I sometimes have to say something, and it’s often not well received.
I shared in my first book, “The Single Christian Woman’s Guide’ how God spoke to me in prayer when I was disappointed with the fact that I had not seen many godly men my age. God told me to focus on him and not on the men, who had been inappropriate. When we are abiding in God in honesty and humility; we are more aware of the work that God is doing in us. God will expose things within us to take account of and give over to him. There is a promise from God where He promises to prune those who abide in him and who have bought forth good fruit in the past. God prunes us so that we bring forth more good fruit.
Taking personal responsibility for our actions, thoughts, and perspectives is part of that pruning process. It will be uncomfortable. God will have to cut somethings away―wrong thinking, pride, arrogance, and idols resulting in a humble woman, who depends on God. Submitting to God’s process and continuing to take responsibility for what God shows us will always result in deliverance and healing for us.
Therefore, confess (take ownership of) your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. – James 5:16
Are you a woman who does not take accountability? How do you feel about the statement that many single Christian women do not take responsibility? How do you think failing to take responsibility will affect a relationship or a marriage? Do you think this can prevent a woman from getting into a relationship? Please, share in the comments below:
Watch the video from, “The Talk Back” below:
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