Many are leaving the church due to an offense, but our love walks have to grow with the pace or even beyond our interactions with others. An offense can be a catalyst to personal growth and maturity causing us to love in even the hardest of times. If we leave a church, relationship, or situation God has put us in too soon; we may, in turn, stifle our growth. This is why it is so important to be led by the Spirit of God.
Don’t get me wrong. I understand that going to church or being a part of a small group with difficult or unreasonable people can be hard, but we have to still seek the Lord to see how he’d have us to respond to such a situation. I often say that if I was not saved prior to going to church; I would not be saved now by simply going to church. Thankfully, I had an intimate relationship with the Lord before I started going to church, so it was normal for me to seek the Lord about confusing things I’d experience in the church.
Sometimes, people have an unrealistic expectation of people who go to church–placing them on a pedal stool, or expecting perfection when, in reality, people are just people. People aren’t perfect. They do not know every appropriate way to act and react just because they are in the church. People are developing at various maturity levels and yes that includes pastors and leaders.
Sometimes God will send you to another church altogether to heal and other times he may require you to remain at your same church and heal in process of dealing with the offense. We will never know if we do not seek the Lord for ourselves. We will never seek the Lord for ourselves if we do not pursue our relationship with God outside of the church.
I remember the first church I joined at 17. It was a bit of a culture shock because what was experienced at church as far as the rules were so different than what I expected. Of course, the rules were man-made and not of God. I struggled with fitting in and if I was good enough to remain in the church at times.
I remember one night at a prayer conference not going to prayer during my assigned hour to pray because I was so upset that I’d just been accused of trying to get an older woman’s husband. The woman had accused me because she did not like the length of the skirt I had on. I spent the rest of the night asking people if my skirt was too short. I had gotten it from one of the ladies at the church. I thought I was fitting in. Finally, years later when it was my time to leave that church, the Lord started to deal with me about leaving. I ended up getting seen in the grocery store by my pastor wearing earrings. She later rebuked me when I went back to the church, and a couple weeks after that I’d finished the letter God had put on my heart to write to her and I left.
Of course, I was hurt because she was preaching to the congregation that I had backslid because I had the earrings on, but God had already dealt with me about leaving, and he was already leading me to another church to heal. I continued to pray for my former pastor, and of course, I forgave her. Later, the Lord bought reconciliation when I was assigned to manage her web page at a radio station I had interned at. That whole ordeal allowed me to grow in my love walk, forgive when uncomfortable, and give grace for reconciliation.
Without challenges with flawed people; we’d never have an opportunity to grow, or practice some of the primary tenants of our faith; such as forgiveness. Every time we experience something hard and God empowers us with the grace to forgive; it helps us to grow. We see ourselves as more receiving of grace when we see the need for it in others. It should remind us of what Christ did for us and how we need to continue to do that for one another. We need to be so rooted in Christ’s love, character, and his word that we willingly decide to endure and forbear where God calls us for our personal development and the development of others.
People become genuinely convicted when genuine love is shown. We cannot grow in our love walk if our love is never tested. Don’t always expect things to be comfortable with dealing with people. Church people are still people and thus are flawed. Learn to show grace, to forgive, and to love in spite of. Be led by the Spirit on whether you should stay at the church you’re at or leave for another.
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