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Hard Conversations: Let’s Talk Divorce Part I (Commentary on Christon Gray’s Recent Interview)

Recently, I viewed a couple of videos online that bought into public view one of the hard topics in the body of Christ and that is divorce. Christon Gray and Datin have been public this year on the personal divorces they’ve experienced.

Next week, we can discuss more regarding Datin’s divorce. However, this week I’d like to briefly discuss Christon Gray’s divorce and new marriage. Christon had some indiscretions that he confessed to during an interview with Sway from Sway in the Morning. He met his current wife while he was still married to his first wife. He made some decisions and mistakes that were contrary to scripture or and sound doctrine due to his immaturity and brokenness that he had inside. 

He briefly discussed how he went to therapy to get help with a sex addiction as he attempted to right his wrongs. He and his first wife have moved on from the first marriage and any mistakes done, and Christon is starting from a new slate with his new wife.

The new wife, his previous wife, Christon, and child are trying to make things work from where they stand in relation to one another right now. One could only wonder within themselves how can they make it work after such a big mess? How can life continue on as normal after divorce especially when Christon is a Christian?

First, I’d like to say, I’m proud of Christon for going public with his situation and owning his part in the divorce and the work toward wholeness as he tries again in his new marriage. We have to be careful as believers not to put people in a box when it comes to sin condemning them to their mistakes for the rest of their lives. Healing and mercy is supposed to begin after confession and repentance.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. – James 5:16 (NIV)

People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy. – Proverbs 28:13 (NLT)

The standard the word of God has against divorce is very high. It takes very strongly committed people who utilize the grace of God in their lives along with wisdom to avoid it. Those who tend to fall into divorce are generally judged harshly. We treat them as if divorce is the unpardonable sin. I can understand it because divorce is hard to wrap our minds around, but divorce is not the unpardonable sin.

When we are confused as to how we should view a hard situation. We should always look to Jesus for clarity by searching his Word.

There was a very similar situation in the Bible where a woman was caught in the act of adultery–an act that is a justification for divorce. Jesus brought clarity to the perception of those who immediately wanted to pick up their stones and condemn by doing the following:

1.    He placed the accusers in the position of the offender asking them to cast the first stone
       if they can look at themselves and find that they are without sin.

2.    Jesus asked the woman to go and sin no more.

How impactful could the body of Christ be if we learned to look at people through the eyes of not seeking to condemn them, but to empower and raise them up when they fall into sin–even sins that we look at more harshly like divorce?

​Brethren, if a man is overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. – Galatians 6:1 (KJV)

Jesus did not justify the woman’s sin by calling her accusers off of her and telling her to sin no more. He acknowledged that she did wrong and that everyone does wrong to some extent. We all fall short. I think sometimes we feel as though if we do not judge people harshly, we are justifying their sin, but there is a way to acknowledge sin as sin without condemning and judging harshly. It starts with considering ourselves and that we all need Jesus.

We can in a sense allow the faults of others to remind us of our need for Christ. This is where Jesus Christ comes in providing clarity along with his grace. The Bible says where there is much sin; there is much grace (Romans 5:20.)

This is a picture of the gospel over again. The woman caught in the sin of adultery is a picture of the gospel over again. Christon Gray and his situation is a picture of the gospel over again. It is very messy, but Christ died for the messy parts of us.

Do you find that you tend to judge those who are divorced more harshly condemning them to that sin for the rest of their lives? Comment below

Watch the video interview below of Christon Gray and his new wife:

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