How does a good girl go bad? The main way a good girl goes bad is to allow unbelief to take root in her heart. This normally happens through focusing on the wrong thing. Every single Christian woman who has attempted to honor God during her season of waiting for a godly spouse has asked herself the question is it really worth it to continue doing the right thing while being left in waiting while others veer off the path and are soon after in what appears to be a successful marriage.
I always remind others as well as myself that yes, it is worth it. It’s also worth it to protect how we value giving our lives as an offering to God even in waiting for a spouse; we have to be careful what we focus on. Focusing on the wrong thing can cause us to fret.
Recently, I learned that to fret means the below:
- To eat or gnaw into or corrode. To corrode means to destroy or damage slowly. Destroy or weaken gradually.
- Fret comes from the Old English word freton which means to devour like an animal. When you fret over something, it consumes your thoughts.
- For example: If you tell your mother not to fret about you while you go off to war, you’re telling her not to worry about you too much. (Vocabulary.com)
What is being corroded when a good girl goes bad? And what is being corroded when we fret? Our faith and trust in God, his goodness, and the worthiness of the process of suffering involved with obeying God and his way. When people allow their faith and trust in God and his way to be corroded; they resign to disbelief, bitterness, coldness of heart, pride and they begin to emulate the wicked. This is how so many good girls and guys turn bad not realizing that this is simply a part of the process of walking with God―to view the wicked seemingly prospering while obeying God in spite of allowing this process to develop Godly character w/I us.
Single Christian women and men aren’t the first to experience discouragement at seeing the wicked prosper. Asaph, the writer of the 73rd Psalm addresses these very same feelings when he says the below:
Surely in vain, I have kept my heart pure
and have washed my hands in innocence.
All day long I have been afflicted,
and every morning brings new punishments. – Psalms 73:13-14
This is nothing new as there is nothing new under the sun. This is a challenge that many believers have faced for many years. You’re not alone if you’ve ever felt this way. Asaph was going through a challenge where he had been watching the prosperity of the wicked. However, he concluded that the prosperity of the wicked was not their end. God instead caused the wicked to go through things to humble them bringing them to the reality of God’s truth.
King David also addresses this saying in Psalms 37 that we should not fret ourselves because of evildoers nor be envious of them because they will soon be cut off and will wither like a dying plant. Instead, David encourages us to trust in the Lord and continue to do good. This is where he adds the famous scripture and promise from God to the righteous below:
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalms 37:4
That word delight in the Strong’s dictionary means: To be soft, be delicate, be dainty. To be happy about, take exquisite delight. To make merry over, make sport. Delight also has a verb meaning: to be soft, pliable, effeminate, or luxurious delight.
I find it interesting that us guarding our hearts and allowing ourselves to remain soft and pliable to the Lord is what it truly means to take delight in the Lord and of course that leads to joy in the Lord which is our strength. Even more interesting is the association with delight as a verb to mean effeminate which is a metaphor, I believe to show the softness, safety, and security that a woman values and desires from her husband. I believe the Lord is sharing with us that with God as our Lord we should be so secure, safe, soft, and open to God’s faithfulness in fulfilling His promises to us and taking care of all necessary business.
Further, the opposite of delighting in the Lord and allowing ourselves to fret is to have a hardened and bitter heart against the Lord which leads to evil and emulation of the wicked. Look at the below scripture from Asaph as he was tested in this very same way:
When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you. – Psalms 73:22-23
David likewise warns sharing that fretting only leads to sin:
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.
For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land. – Psalms 37:8-9
Instead of fretting, we should focus on the faithfulness of our God. We should read the entire Psalms 37 and 73 to see the whole conclusion of the matter. We should meditate on scriptures like the below and prioritize the testimonies of others who have walked similar paths and overcome through God’s grace:
The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care,
and their inheritance will endure forever.
In times of disaster they will not wither;
in days of famine, they will enjoy plenty. – Psalms 37:18-19
In meditating on scriptures like the above and keeping our hearts clear of bitterness and unbelief, we will avoid being good girls who turn bad and we will experience and see the goodness of God in our lives for ourselves.
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