Continuing from last week, this is part 3 out of 5 for our are you ready to date quiz and discussion. This discussion is in relation to the new book, “Patterns of the Heart: Discernment in Choosing a Potential Spouse.” Take a look at question # 4 below and it’s explanation. Leave your comments or take the quiz yourself at the end of this article.
Question # 4
Have you embraced yourself for who you are allowing yourself to feel like an asset to yourself and others?
- Yes, 67%
- Still Struggling with This, 22 %
- No, 11%
Let’s be real. We all struggle with various perspectives concerning ourselves and sometimes it takes us a while to accept them. Something I’ve learned more and more as I’ve gotten older is to continue to accept myself over and over again. That means whenever a question arises about who I am whether it’s something I need to take personal responsibility on saying I was wrong or if it’s good but may annoy other people. I have a commitment to myself to accept myself based on God’s acceptance of me, and his intentional development of how he wants me to be for his purpose.
For example, I have somewhat of a deep view of things. I don’t look at a lot of things for face value. I enjoy going beneath the surface seeing things others may not see. I look for the good in every situation. I’m solution-oriented. I don’t like to hear negativity or complaining from others for the sake of being negative or complaining. I’m the type that looks to reshape the conversation. I ask questions like how can we get to the bottom of this to address the real issue. I’ve found that everyone doesn’t like that. Some people just want to complain and dump on others. Don’t get me wrong sometimes we have to vent, but sometimes venting just for venting’s sake can lead to feeling negative and gloomy.
If I’m going to deal with certain things I want to work through it to get to the positive aspects. Everyone isn’t always ready for that and I’ve gotten push back and snapped on. In those moments, I’ve had to still say to myself, it’s okay. You are the way you are for a purpose. You do not have to change who you are to fit in with everyone. Continue to be you.
And God saw everything that he had made and, behold, it was very good. – Genesis 1:31
The Greek word for good is tob. It means: Good, pleasant, agreeable, excellent, rich, valuable in estimation, appropriate, and becoming. (Strong-Lite Dictionary)
Without the basic estimation of who we are and our value; we place ourselves at risk for instability in dating relationships. We can become easily moved by the opposition of those who just weren’t meant for us. Everyone isn’t meant for us. This is why God told Adam that he needed a suitable partner. Someone, who would complement how God made him. Also, someone who would not set him off course from his God-given purpose. Our suitable partner will not be perfect. We see that Eve was not perfect, but immediately began making mistakes in her partnership with Adam, but she was suitable enough to remain committed to him and who God called Adam to be. This is why we need to be resolved in accepting ourselves before entering a relationship.
The above is simply an example of owning who I am. I realized the things God’s invested in me are good and purposeful. Thus, I carry myself like I am good and purposeful. Where I fall short, I address it. Similar to Adam and Even in the garden. God made men and women and called them good, not bad.
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