Call to check on them
While calling them to check on them, you’ll want to listen to them. It’s a process to cope with the pain of losing a loved one. The surviving loved one may be asking themselves questions as to how they got to the moment of their loved one no longer being here. Did they do all they could do to help the deceased loved one stay alive or stay healthy? Did they visit him or her enough while he/she was still alive? Allowing the mourning individual to talk out what they are feeling and how they are perceiving things gives him/her a safe place to not keep their grief bottled inside. It provides a safe relief and reminds them that they are not alone.
Offer to Cook a Dish for the Repass
With so many different factors going into planning and finalizing funeral details; often something needed will be missed or forgotten. Offering your help to provide a dish, paper-wear, drinks, and anything needed will provide much-needed relief in an already stressful time.
Be Understanding
People process grief differently. If someone needs to withdraw for a brief period, don’t take it personally. They could be recharging and/or conserving energy for tasks they will not be able to avoid. Grief can be very heavy at times making it hard to keep moving. Assure a withdrawing person that it is okay to take a moment to him/herself. As long as the withdrawal is healthy. A person should not cut everyone off altogether for extended periods or withdrawal into negative behavior.
Feel free to encourage or provide a referral to grief counseling when someone dealing with grief seems to be somewhat emotionally unstable. A good referral is griefshare.com. Grief-share is an international ministry where you can visit their website, enter your zip code, and sign up for their free support group. The group meets 13 weeks participating in viewing video teachings about grief, group discussion and support, and working through a workbook that shares how to heal through grief.
Don’t be afraid to be there
Often when a person experiences a friend losing a loved one; fear of saying the wrong thing may cause the friend to withdrawal. It’s okay to reach out. Ask if anything is needed. More than likely your friend will be appreciative that you asked, and he/she will keep you in mind when they actually do need something like someone to run an errand, provide a dish, or read scripture during the funeral. If you are limited on your time and participation; you can always provide a card, hug, or donation. The point is to do something. Prayers are appreciated, but reaching out and showing that you’re there will show you as someone who cares.
Leave a Reply