Isn’t it ironic how as human beings dependent on the Lord, we have to always wait on something. I’ve talked about waiting on other occasions in my writings, and how waiting makes us stronger because it exposes what’s in us, and causes us to become more attentive of our need for humility and dependence on Christ.
Imagine the woman who has waited on God for years for a godly spouse, and he shows up. He isn’t exactly as she had pictured. In fact, she really did not know altogether what to picture. He is ready enough for her, but there are those areas that need to be smoothed out so that she can feel more secure as a woman.
In that case, what should the woman do? The natural inclination would be for her to say how she feels until she sees change. However, that can get to the point of nagging.
I like Wikipedia’s definition of nagging:
“Nagging, an interpersonal communication that, is repetitious behavior in the form of pestering, hectoring, or otherwise continuously urging an individual to complete previously discussed requests or act on advice.
”Nagging in turn can work against the woman. Even though she may be wise, It can make her appear as a fool. We know what the Bible says about foolish and quarrelsome women.
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 25:24 (NIV)
Of course there is a time to speak, and it is very important that feelings are shared instead of being held inside especially when they are important. Sharing will require wisdom with timing and place to ensure what is shared is taken in thus not giving opportunity to a need to repeat what was shared.
Women know their husband’s patterns and such where he will be most receptive of what she has to share. That is what a wise woman does. She applies appropriate timing and place to sharing certain things that are important to her, and she learns once she has shared her most effective work will be in her prayer closet.
The idea is not to avoid the temptation of nagging meaning not ever being placed in an uncomfortable situation, but to become sharper in the area of discipline to pray instead of exercising the need to always say. One of the hardest disciplines for a woman is when she sees things out of place or not how she would like, and nothing has been done to address that. That is when the temptation to dishonor a man comes into play. As women, we really have to depend on the Lord to be able to honor our men in the face of disappointment in various areas.
We have to be sensitive enough in the Spirit to know which wars to fight with silence, grace, and love in our speech and demeanor, and yet raising our petitions sincerely to the Lord who hears them, and will answer them. Perhaps an uncomfortable situation for a woman in courtship or as a wife could be a blessing in teaching that woman not to be selfish or prideful only considering herself and her needs, but to deny herself and respond to the needs of her husband. After all, the bride of Christ’s response is for us to be a living sacrifice holy and acceptable unto the Lord which is our reasonable service (Romans 12:1).
Therefore, both the husband and wife have to deny themselves in the relationship at times. The husband denies himself giving up his life for his wife like Christ did the church, and the wife does the same thing in turn learning to deny herself and to sacrifice for the relationship as it is her reasonable response to her loving husband. In this way, both individuals learn and grow to be more like Christ in their relationship, and that is indeed God’s primary purpose for marriage. Remember if we seek God’s purpose first everything else will be taken care of (Matthew 6:33). So, the relationship will begin to develop into what God intended for us, and that is God’s best.
Leave a Reply