This is a real and needed post. Being single and walking in sexual purity is a form of sacrifice because it isn’t like our hormones don’t work. We just simply have no release when the fire sets ablaze. Some participate in ungodly things, while others simply endure through the suffering trusting God to one day deliver.
A few things that have helped me are the below:
Prayer
Have you ever heard the term to encourage yourself in the Lord? Well, sometimes I begin to encourage myself reminding myself that I will not always go through this. God said that he would supply my every need. God will supply my need for sexual release with my husband in the near future. I just have to endure where I currently am.
I begin to tell God, “Lord, you know what I need before I even ask. I thank you that you will supply my need in this area. I ask you to give me the grace to endure right now until the appropriate time comes for release in this area.”
I continue praying, “Lord, I thank you that your strength is made perfect in my weakness. I have a weakness in this area because I do not have an appropriate release. Give me your strength to endure until the appropriate time.”
My prayers are really a realization that I cannot obey God in this area without his help. He gave me this awesome desire to “Get Down”, and thus I am expecting him to bring to pass what he has promised. I will remind the Lord of his word. I will say, “Lord, you said in your word in order to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and every woman her own husband. Lord, I want to avoid fornication, thus I am expecting a godly husband. I thank you that you will bring this to pass. Continue to give me the strength to endure while I wait.”
Joking Prayer and simply acknowledging God when things get hot:
Yes, I joke with the Lord often in prayer, and there is nothing wrong with that. It helps me to distract myself from what’s going on plus I bust up laughing. There is an unspoken expectation that in order to approach God we have to always be serious and have a strange protocol to approaching God. I will say that we should always be respectful of God and hold him in high regard, but that doesn’t mean that we cannot be ourselves.
Some of my joking prayers to God about my hormones that actually have helped. “Lord, I’m going to need you to be a fireman right now, put the fire out Jesus!”
“Lord, my hormones are on 10 Jesus.”
“Lord, I want to (insert what you want to do in that moment.)”
“Lord, I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”
“Lord, I don’t want to be a hoe. Help me, Jesus!”
We have to be real with God if we want his help. The humility of simply coming to him shows dependence on him, and actually empowers us with the grace that we need to continue to walk in purity, and if we fall we need to own our identity in Christ that covers our sin so that we can stand again.
“A righteous man falls several times, but seven times gets back up again.”- Proverbs 24:16
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
However, when we depend on God’s strength we do not have to fall. We have to come out of the thinking that it is impossible to live holy for God as an unmarried person, and at some point, we will have to fall. That is not true. We do not have to fall into sexual sin.
Distracting Myself
If I am taking a brief nap. I get up sooner than I planned because sometimes lying in the bed brings on those feelings. I may listen to unrelated music that would definitely not have you in the mood. I may do a few squats hoping that will shake the feeling away–just anything to take my mind off of how I feel.
Becoming more guarded with what I watch for entertainment
I am very careful about what I watch on TV when I watch TV. There has been a couple of shows I have stopped watching because they have added just way too much sex. I don’t care if the show identifies with me to some degree as a single woman. My sexual purity is more important. I try not to get caught up in watching any series that will show consistent sex. My hormones just can’t take it. I discussed this in more detail in my book, “The Single Christian Woman’s Guide.” I talked about how the Bible gives us permission to be extreme when something is causing us to sin. It says if your eye offends you, meaning causes you to sin, pluck it out. I do a lot of plucking, and that helps too.
I was visiting my cousin who is not a devout believer in the well-known sense. He was telling me how good some movie was, and I asked the question, “Does it have a lot of sex in it?” He was like you crazy cuz. I said no, I’m serious. I can’t watch stuff with a lot of sex in it.
I did not even watch the Strait outta Compton movie because I heard the movie had a threesome in it. I had already watched a documentary about the group and how their music spoke of the social inequalities of the time. That was all I needed to know.
Let me be clear. I am not perfect and have not always done things right. I used to have a crutch of fantasy lust that I would run to when my hormones would be off the chain, but of course, God delivered me. Now, I run to God for grace.
What are some of the things that you do as a single when your hormones get hot? Please, share. Don’t be shy. We all grown lol!
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