Rejection is a common experience that we all will encounter in our search for love. We can protect ourselves from the pit of rejection by realizing two things—self-acceptance and the inevitability of rejection.
The pit of rejection is where the lies of the enemy lie. Where the enemy tells us that we aren’t enough or we are too much and that is the reason for our rejection. Sometimes, the reason for rejection has nothing to do with us but the fact that the standard on our lives would require too much of others. Many people are comfortable where they are and our commitment to Christ would threaten that comfort for them if they decided to attempt to align their lives with ours.
You are not for everybody. Everybody is not for you. The quicker you accept yourself the easier it will be for you to bounce back from rejection. You owe it to yourself to be you. Anyone who takes you away from being authentically yourself isn’t for you unless they are helping you to be better.
Next, you’ll have to expect rejection. There will be people who pursue a relationship with you who aren’t in alignment with your values. Hoping one party will change is the norm. However, when that norm isn’t realized rejection is inevitable.
Others will be offended by the standards you have. For example, the standard to save sex until marriage is offensive to some. Rejection is to be expected if this is your standard. Those who take issue with you because of this do you a favor in exposing that they aren’t for you.
Or maybe a guy liked a girl, but he saw a prettier girl and no longer returned the first girl’s call—this is a form of rejection that happens all the time in dating. Don’t take it so personally that you internalize it as if there is something wrong with you. Be confident in knowing your beauty is enough. When God created you—he created you enough. Remember to celebrate your beauty before you get into a relationship with someone—so you aren’t relying on the approval of a partner to feel beautiful.
When we experience rejection—we need to process it for what it is, an experience. That experience should not define how we see ourselves. Our worthiness for God’s best should remain intact. When we have the same experience again and again; we are tempted to believe there is something wrong with us. If this is your issue—I’d encourage you to run it by a trusted friend, coach, therapist, and the Lord in prayer. I had to do this myself.
When talking to different gentlemen getting to know them—I continued to have the experience of guys ghosting or falling off due to my stance on abstinence. When running this by my coach, she reminded me that my standard is a part of me that I have to accept. This would require the brotha I choose to have to accept it as well. If we aren’t solid on walking in who we are others will not be either.
They will seek to move us to act outside of who we are for their benefit. When faced with this decision rejection is the better out. This is why we cannot fear rejection but expect it. It’s a necessary part of life. The truth is—we’ve been rejected before and we turned out fine. When experiencing rejection again—we’ll be fine again.
Challenge yourself to accept yourself. Even the parts that others do not like. Remember we do not get our approval from man but from God. The confidence that our stances honor God should be enough to cause us to embrace them with joy. It may not get us to a potential sooner but it will protect us along the way.
Consider taking my course Healing & Refreshing for God’s Single Daughters or joining my Facebook Group, “Singles Living for Christ.”
Leave a Reply