Single Christians Revamp Your Social Life
It’s a new day for single believers. Can you feel it? I was praying this past week and it dawned on me that I am not in the same place. Well, Russelyn, just what do you mean you may ask. Having been single for many years I’ve experienced some ups and downs in life—that hit differently when you’re single. Life as a single has allowed me to experience depression, questioning myself, things, and people, but that day is over.
All I see are opportunities. These aren’t the same opportunities I used to write about. These opportunities are new. While I am appreciating all of the gifts of singleness: Getting up and going when I like, not having small children to look after, or having time for my passions. I’m appreciating the joy of being open and the result of meeting new people with no requirement for commitment until I know in my heart it is it.
There has been much practical wisdom missing for singles who desire to please God. Important wisdom like it’s okay to date. However, you need to know who you are and have boundaries unique to you and your values in place. With these things in place along with our foundation in Christ and seeking to please him first—we cannot lose.
We allow God to direct our paths as his word promises while simply enjoying where we are in life. I was listening to the audiobook, “Attached.” I noted a story of a gentleman who had not had a lot of dating experience. A girl he was getting to know asked him, “You aren’t worried that you’ll never be married?” His response was no. I just figured—it will happen when it is supposed to and it did for him.
This is my attitude. I am not anxious or worried. I am enjoying the joy of each day as I have a right to do because God gave it to me. When I get up in the morning, I thank the Lord because this is the day he has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it. I own that as a single woman. This is my attitude. I’ve experienced major loss and the fact that God has allowed me to still be here means I need to be committed to appreciating his gifts and taking full advantage.
Now that we’ve discussed the right mindset for single believers being social; let’s talk about how to be social. Our expectation remains in the Lord to provide our spouse to us. As we do not know where he will come from; we put ourselves in social environments. Below are some of the tools I use.
Match.com
Match.com is an awesome tool to be social. Yes, it’s a dating app, but more than that. They have local events in your city to meet people. From cooking classes to mountain climbing, paddle boarding activities, speed dating, and mixers to more. If you don’t want the pressure of a date but still want to be in co-ed environments, Match.com is a great way to do so. In addition to local events, Match partners with travel companies for trips. I’ve seen trips to Alaska, the Caribbean, a single’s cruise, and more. If you are single, this is super fun to simply put yourself out there in fun ways.
Travel Groups
Party of one traveling? No biggie. Find a travel group that has similar values. Recently, I took a trip to Jamaica and had an absolute ball. It was nice to be around some masculine energy as well. Get this, I felt so safe. This is what we need as singles to be reminded that we are not alone. There are others just like us who desire genuine love while honoring God at the same time.
I encourage you to find your crew. Listen to podcasts that share similar values as you. If/When they host group trips, go. You can start preparing by saving a travel budget. You know for work I am a HUD certified Homeownership counselor and financial counselor. So, I’m always helping people with the budget to do the things they desire. There isn’t anything you cannot do when you prepare your budget for it. Start putting a specific amount away each month to build up that travel budget.
HOLY DATING APP
The Holy app is a new app that started during the pandemic. It verifies if a person is a real person before anyone can join. I love that. I’ve had more gentlemen on that app willing to have conversations. The only downside I would say is there aren’t enough guys in my area on the app so I’ve had to extend it to 2,000 miles which means long-distance dating. If the conversations don’t hit like that, ain’t nobody getting on a plane. That’s a big investment when you’re not sure you want to get serious with someone. Anywho, it’s still worth a try. We never know if/when a match will turn out to be something.
DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE GROCERY STORE RUNS OR MEETING SOMEONE IN PERSON
As a woman, who knows her worth, I must admit, it’s a bit easier for us women. We just have to look fly. Be confident, and smile while responding to a friendly gentleman in person. That’s when numbers are exchanged and the getting-to-know-you process begins.
I’ve had men buy me drinks going out to events by myself. A gentleman recently helped me bag my groceries and more. All from being friendly and approachable. The truth is we simply need to be ourselves. Walk in the love that’s inside of us to share.
Be open to meeting people with no expectations. A smile is not a commitment. An exchange of numbers is not a commitment. If we decide to go on a date—that isn’t a commitment. We; however, remain committed to ourselves to be open while maintaining our healthy boundaries.
Our healthy boundaries protect our values allowing us to meet our goal of honoring God. All of this, while meeting people. This places us in various social environments with others and we don’t know where it will lead to. However, as mentioned earlier, God will make our paths straight.
The experience of being social as singles is a fun and interesting ride—that will at the right time lead to a healthy marriage when we find the one who matches our values and goals for the future. Happy Single Life my beautiful people! Enjoy the revamped social life and feel free to share other social events and experiences we can take advantage of as singles. I know I left some things out like single’s conferences.
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