Don’t get me wrong! God does send men into the lives of women who are still single and waiting on him to act as brothers. Brothers encourage, protect, and affirm similar to what a father does except the brothers are more on our level because we are from the same generation.
However, when God sends a brother, there will not be a pull toward intimate desires that should be reserved for marriage. There will automatically be boundaries in place to seek to please God because of the nature of the brother and sister relationship. Our commitment to the Lord in the area of purity should not be consistently confronted in a friendship.
If by chance the relationship with a friend matures into more than a brother/sister friendly relationship; there should be clear boundaries and intentions set in place to provide direction on how the relationship will proceed forward. Grey area when it comes to this type of a scenario will lead to confusion and more often than not compromise.
As women, we have those desires where we want to nurture, touch, and playfully flirt. That is a natural part of being an adult woman, but it should be reserved for our husbands. If we give those things to every man that we feel a pull toward, we will be confused in what we want or what God wants for us. We can easily fall for the idea of being intimate with whoever is present rather than being choosy about being intimate specifically with our husbands.
The mindset of holding out for our husbands when it comes to relationship stuff such as flirting or playful touching feels awkward as an adult woman to hold out on, but if we look at it as an investment for our future, we’ll be more willing to hold out. Truthfully, it’s an investment in our present as well because it teaches us discipline. It also prevents distraction that would take us away from pursuing God and what he wants.
Guarding those natural affections for intimacy that we have are a part of guarding our hearts. One day we will be able to be intimate with the right person, and now we will continue to be preserved from the wrong ones.
The below scripture speaks to a young man sharing how he should view women older than him, and women similar in age to him:
Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters. 1 Timothy 5:2
If we take a lesson from 1 Timothy, we can treat our brothers in the Lord the same as brothers. If it goes further than that we should allow the man to lead that, but make sure ladies that you seek the Lord and discern the brother’s consecration to the Lord. If his consecration isn’t right, he will lead you straight into sin. We have a responsibility as women to guard our hearts.
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