The question sort of lingers in the back of a single woman’s mind, “Should I as a single woman submit myself to a man?”
A wise woman that I follow on social media named Emily McKnight shared that a single woman should not submit herself to a man in dating because the man is not her husband, and I can understand why.
Many people look at submission through different lenses. You have the men that feel that submission is a woman who does whatever he says to do or who allows herself to be controlled by a man, and there are women who believe the same.
A woman who gets into agreement with the above, and allows a man to control her every move without thinking, discerning, or following the wisdom of God shows a lack of identity.
A woman who lacks identity should not be dating at all. She should be establishing her relationship with God, and identity in God’s word.
For those of us who are ready for a spouse we can ask ourselves the below question.
“Is this man worthy of my submission?”
As single women who may be courting, dating, or waiting for someone appropriate to date, our mindsets should be geared toward the future. We should be asking ourselves if a brother is the type of a brother who we could have a peaceful future with in Christ.
In asking these questions for ourselves, we become fruit inspectors. The Bible says that we will know them by the fruit that they bear. This is the consistent behavior of the men pursuing us. Some of the main things we should be looking at are shared values, similar or complimentary purpose, demonstrated vision for life, and the understanding of a man’s role. With that said, we should be firm in each of the topics listed that we should be looking for in a potential mate.
Shared Values:
Shared values are standard beliefs that will not change because they are based off of the word of God, such as a relationship with God, the definition of love, and demonstrated obedience to God.
Having a relationship with God is a given, and obedience to God’s word should be a given, but unfortunately it doesn’t always come with the package for those who identify as believers.
When it comes to the value of real love, many don’t understand the difference of real love from what they view on television. Many think love is an ouh-awe feeling, and when that ouh-awe feeling isn’t felt; many relinquish the ideal that love can be love.
When it comes down to it love is a choice. Love is something that a person has to be intentional at. A person has to make an intentional choice to love truly, and then the ouh-awe feelings will be sparked out of that. What is loving truly? Loving truly is loving patiently, loving without keeping a record of wrong, loving consistently. See 1 Corinthians 13 for what real love is. A person needs to be mature enough to see the value of love as this so that she does not settle for anything less or pass up on this because love was not what she expected.
Be careful with a man who desires to create the ouh-awe feeling through being physical, instead of being sacrificial. Being physical produces a short-lived emotional connection, but loving truly produces a life-long mental, spiritual, and emotional connection. Make sure that the way that you value love and the way that he values love is the same thing.
The couple needs to agree on these very important values and more.
What are some of the values that you have for the man who comes into your life, and brothers what are some of the values that you have for the women that come into your life? Please, share in the comments below.
Stay tuned for next week as we continue to look at majors to be considered when determining if a guy is someone we can one day submit to as future wives in this two part series “The Single Woman & Submission.”
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