The Need for Intentionality in our Relationship with God and our Spouse

The Need for Intentionality in our Relationship with God and Our Spouse
We cannot live on the intentionality of yesterday in our relationship with our spouse or with God. Just like we planted specific seed to get to where we are today; we are going to have to plant specific seed to not only move to where we are to go for tomorrow, but to maintain our footing of where we are currently avoiding backtracking.

We go from glory to glory in our relationship with God. Even though there are rough patches at times along the way we end up treading on higher ground. Well, sometimes we avoid our responsibility in the process and expect things to happen naturally. This isn’t the case.

For those of us in a relationship, in the beginning we were very intentional to answer the phone every time our boo called, made time to spend with him or her. We set aside time where we would not be distracted from listening to and communing with our loves to really understand and see where they were coming from. But after a while, we felt like we had them. We took them for granted. We made doing the things that we did before a chore or fell back altogether.

We made coming to God a chore. We come to God in prayer and are content without tapping into the Spirit or hearing what God has to say. We have no real connection, and have forgotten how to pour out our souls to the Lord, and receive an answer. We have allowed our satisfaction to come from things that God has provided instead of from fellowship with him.

When our relationship with God feels like the above, it is a sign that we need to be more intentional with God. Just like we fasted and prayed early on, we will need to continue to fast and pray. Just like we set aside un-distracted time in the past to seek God’s heart, we will have to continue to become even more intentional in doing so in moments like the above.

During that un-distracted time we can write in our journals and reflect if our heart is toward the Lord, has anything come into place to remove God from being first in our hearts. We can ask God to examine our hearts, and to remove anything and everything that is not like him.

During this quiet time, we will become refreshed, and our relationship with God will be rejuvenated, and we will find it easier to commune with God in prayer. Even if we don’t see results right away, we must be encouraged to still pursue intentionality in our seeking God, and he will reward us (Hebrews 11:6).

What about when we experience a disconnect in our personal relationships with our spouses?
Well, because our relationship with our spouse is to mirror that of the relationship of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:30-32). We should become more intentional with our spouses when experiencing a disconnect. I don’t know how many old people that I’ve heard say this phrase, “Remember the reasons why you fell in love with your spouse, and go back to those things.”
In other words, If it floated your spouse’s boat to call regularly or shoot a regular text saying how you miss them or how beautiful that she is; don’t just stop doing that altogether. Go back to those things that drew you all to one another and be intentional about making those things work.
Many marriage ministries use as a guide the book, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. That book describes learning what relates best to one’s spouse that he or she is loved. Once, this language is found out, the partners respond to each other based on their love language. The book shares what the five love languages specifically are.
When experiencing a disconnect with the hubby or the wife, don’t run to the divorce court, but one to one another. Set apart some time where the both of you are refreshed, relaxed, and rested to discuss where the relationship is, and concerns of the heart. Discuss the goals of the relationship, and set realistic expectations on how to attain those goals.

Some starter questions to evaluate the relationship and facilitate discussion and connection are below:

• Am I serving you well?
• Are you satisfied with where our relationship is?
• How can we make our relationship stronger?
• If there is a specific issue affecting connection, be sure to address that specific issue in the time that is set apart.

Just like our relationships with our spouses are holy; our relationship with God is holy. To be holy means to be set apart. We have to set apart time to adjust to the tending of these relationships to ensure strength in these covenants. It is in no way easy to maintain a relationship with God nor with a marriage partner without intentionality.

We have to love on purpose, and when it doesn’t feel right have those discussions and take steps to make sure our relationships are strong and solid. Remember the relationship of marriage is to reflect the relationship with God and his bride (the church.) Just like we have to set ourselves aside to keep that relationship strong; we have to do the same thing in our marriages.

A good spouse to Christ makes a good spouse to another. Let’s not be lazy in just expecting our relationship with God and our spouse to work on it’s own, but let’s be intentional in being as diligent as we were on yesterday.