Aren’t you tired of all of the singles advice that tells women what is wrong with them instead of what is right with them? It’s almost fostered an attitude within several single women to make their goal perfection in order to be good enough to obtain a spouse.
I’ve noticed some of my sisters in Christ chasing one idea after the next to try to become good enough, whole enough, and perfect enough to have a husband. I genuinely do not believe this is the will of God. I believe this fosters a spirit of control and lack of trust in God.
Those who are viewed as experts are imperfect themselves. We are all actually imperfect, but we live for a God who loves us perfectly. Thus, his grace enables us to have what sometimes we feel we aren’t worthy to attain. God does require maturity of us to handle various things he has promised to us.
The maturity required will naturally come through abiding in Christ. When we abide in Christ, we do not seek him for what he can give us, but for who he is. Abiding in Christ requires seeking him through reading his word consistently, praying, fasting, and becoming sensitive to his voice.
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3
I want to deflate the false idea in which I believe is a clear distraction from the enemy to make us feel as if we aren’t good enough, and once we become good enough then we can have a husband. No one receives a husband because they are good enough. All that we receive is by God’s grace through faith. This means that we cannot work for it.
We can, however, be positioned for our spouses. We are positioned for our spouses along with all of the promises of God through viewing ourselves the way God views us, responding to how God views us with love and genuine worship for him and remaining in him.
Viewing Ourselves The Way God Views Us:
We cannot work for the right to be loved. If that were the case, the love would not be genuine, but a contractual agreement. God’s word affirms that we are fully accepted and fully loved in Christ. God’s word affirms that we are worthy of the ultimate love which was manifest through Jesus Christ who loved us so much that he gave his life for us (John 3:16).
To the praise of the glory of His grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. – Ephesians 1:6 (KJV)
Similarly, we should not have to work for our husbands to love us. Our husbands should follow along the same lines of how Christ loves us, and that is unconditionally with our imperfections and all. Keeping this view before our eyes should dissolve every fear that says we aren’t worthy of love. As a matter of fact, God loved us while we were yet sinners, imperfect, and not having everything together.
Responding to God’s View of Us With Genuine Worship
We should have a genuine relationship with God, not based off of what we can get from him, such as a husband. Instead, we should live a life of genuine worship and intimacy with God in response to his love for us.
In view of God’s great mercy, I urge you, brothers and sisters, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Romans 12:1 (NIV)
Growing in the Grace & Knowledge of Jesus Christ Makes Us Mature & Able to Handle More:
Some stuff we can learn in a book, from a person, and so on, but other things we are going to have to go through and learn through remaining in Christ and allowing him to prune us. We don’t get pruned because we read the latest book, or went to the latest seminar.
We get pruned simply through abiding in Christ. Abiding in Christ is not trying to be perfect, it’s not trying to get it right every time, or trying to pattern our lives after the last girl who got her husband because she did steps 1, 2, and 3.
It’s simply abiding in him. It’s seeking him for no reason. It’s being careful to fear him, and to please him because we’ve learned to love him not for what he could give us, but simply because we’ve tasted and seen that he is good.
The idea of running after becoming some perfect woman to meet a perfect man has become an idol in the body of Christ. It has robbed many women of their rest in Christ. We can only receive the promises of God when we are resting our faith in God.
Let’s focus on running after God, and when we run after him we will become what we ought to be not just for marriage, but for every area of our lives. God’s glory should be made manifest in every area of our lives as singles and one day as married people.
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