He Invests in himself
The Bible makes it clear that we cannot love others unless we first love ourselves. This is a principal that is true despite religious affiliation. It will work for whoever works it. A good sign that a guy is a good catch is that he loves himself, and that is clearly seen through him investing in himself. This man will invest in himself by submitting to authority, being humble enough to know that he doesn’t have it all together, and ultimately submitting to God.
Trust me, if he isn’t willing to invest in himself, he will not be willing to invest in you nor your relationship together. He may instead be selfish enough to invest only enough in the relationship to get what he wants and continue in his own world. I’ve experienced in the past the man who would not invest in himself. He hinted to leaning heavily on me for basic things that he should have had together already before even pursuing a woman such as submission to God, spiritual leadership, and having his own identity.
A man without the proper identity of himself will compare himself to his lady and even become jealous of her. These are all unhealthy when seeking to build a healthy relationship. When we find a man who is willing to invest in himself, we should know that we may be heading in the right direction. It just may be the direction of love.
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. Ephesians 5:29
He protects
I’ve been in awe of this man who has recently been pursuing me. From our first conversation in making plans to get to know each other, he showed me his natural instinct as a man to protect a woman. How sexy?
We had discussed going out on a particular day, but to our surprise it began to snow pretty bad here in Chicago. My new friend shared how he would feel so bad if something happened to me while trying to meet up with him in the snow. Because of the snow, we both decided to re-schedule our outing for the next day.
He is selfless and respectful
The second instance of my friend attempting to protect me was when he asked me what I’d feel comfortable with physically as we got to know one another. He shared how in a previous relationship a kiss to his then interest took her to a place that she did not feel comfortable going.
I thought it was very thoughtful for him to bring that up and make sure that I felt comfortable with any physical action before just giving it a try. Not only is that a sign of protection, but a sign of respect and selflessness. Men love to be physical. That is one of the ways that they love to express their love, but because I am not comfortable with any physical action at the moment besides what I’d do with a friend such as a hug or something, my friend has agreed to not move further in the physical arena unless we both agree. We know that sex of course is not an option until marriage.
Right now, we are both just focusing on getting to know each other in general without the distraction of kissing, rubbing, or any such thing at the moment. If indeed the gentlemen is the one for me, there will be plenty of time for that later. We will continue to proceed with caution, the fear, and wisdom of the Lord in this area.
He Loves Me. He Loves Me Not.
He is patient
As a single woman of God who has been waiting on a mature man of God for a long time, it’s easy to develop a form of being guarded from men that are obviously inappropriate for us.
That was the case with me. Not only do I proceed cautiously regarding guys who do not appear appropriate, but also with guys who may appear appropriate for me as well. We all have been fooled a time or two by a love interest’s presentation. Thus, I am not very quick to commit right after meeting someone to an all in relationship.
There was a phone call that my friend and I had where I thanked him for being a good friend. His response was, “I am not trying to just be your friend.” I had discussed with him previously that I wanted to take things slow and did not want to just jump into things right away. I wanted to see his character, and for him to see mine, and for us to decide if we really agreed to move further after having more of a foundation on each other.
Men can tend to become very excited when they see what they want, especially if they get a response too! Oh, it is on! Look at Adam, who knew his wife at first glance speaking to who she is.
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” Genesis 2:23
Sometimes, guys just simply know what they want. Whereas, me on the other hand, I know what I want, but am not immediately sure if a particular guy is what I want off hand. My friend despite my reservation, chose to stick around because he says he is patient, and that he is.
Love scripture: Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Even with all of the good traits displayed, we should continue to look for consistency over the course of time. Time will ultimately tell you if someone is right for you. Holding fast to your standards, boundaries, and values will protect you during the time of getting to know your potential spouse. This was the case for me in this dating scenario. While the gentleman was a really good guy: he ultimately ended up not being the guy for me and that’s okay. Every dating relationship will not turn out to marriage. Everyone isn’t for us. It’s better to know this prior to marriage as it will be less hurtful than moving forward to marriage and having to divorce later.
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