I am Hidden Treasure: My take on Proverbs 18:22

I’m Hidden Treasure: My take on Proverbs 18:22

I remember going to one of the pastors at my church asking him to pray for me because I was not getting the response I wanted from a gentleman that I was interested in befriending. and also I had never had a boyfriend before and how weird I felt about being so old having not had a real relationship with a gentlemen. The pastor shared with me that God was probably just hiding me. He shared that sometimes God will hide his singles for his purpose and in order to preserve us for the right one. He said that I should count it a blessing to not have gone through some of the things that others have gone through in relationships.

I felt so much better after praying with the pastor. In our society today, it is awkward how one’s worth can be tied to being in a relationship where if you are in a relationship you are seen as valuable and able to get with someone, and when you are single for long periods of time you are seen as rejected and not able to get with someone.

That type of thinking should not be adopted in the church because God sets people aside for his purpose and God sees those people as hidden treasure. He sees them as a good thing. A thing to be cherished and protected. That is how God sees the women that he has taken the time to mold into godly wise women.

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD (NIV). – Proverbs 18:22″

This particular scripture is addressed to men. Men are the ones who find wives not women, and they are the ones who will get favor if they decide to look at the woman who has developed into wife-material as a good thing the way that God sees her, and not someone to be used the way that the world sees her.

I agree that it is in a man’s nature to hunt or to pursue a woman and that they feel a sense of pride and self-assurance when they are able to successfully capture that woman, but the question is once that woman is captured what is that man’s intentions with the woman. Is he capturing her to treat her like a whore and go on to the next sexual pursuit or does he intend to treat her like the treasure or good thing that she is.

Treasure is hidden because it is very valuable. Everyone does not know how to treat treasure. Many people see the beauty, glitz and glam of treasure without understanding the work that was put into it. Therefore the treasure has to be hidden until the worth of the treasure is understood, because until then the treasure will be mistreated and squandered as if it is common when it is not. Hence, the scripture “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces (Matthew 7:6, NIV).

Take the lesson from the story of the prodigal son. The prodigal son was immature or under developed in the understanding of his inheritance. He begged his father for something that he was not yet ready for. He did not understand the hard work his father put into earning that money and putting it aside so that when his son was mature he could put the inheritance to good use. Instead of putting the inheritance to good use, the prodigal son squandered the money because he did not understand the value of it. Instead of favor he got to himself shame and poverty.

What God is saying to men in Proverbs 18:22 is not to treat his good things as common, but to treat them as the treasure that they are and favor will be obtained by God in the process. God has invested a lot of time training women up to be wise prudent women and he is protective of us and reassures us of our worth again and again in scripture.

Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD (Proverbs 19:14, NIV).

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies (Proverbs 31:1, NIV).

A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands (Proverbs 14:1, N.L.T.)

How does it look for a man to treat a woman like the good thing that she is. If we take a look at Ruth we see the perfect example. First, Boaz was able to recognize her as a good thing. When he recognized her as a good thing, he immediately took steps to marry her. There was someone else before him, who had rights to marry her according to the tradition in that culture, and Boaz went to see if he would, when he said no then Boaz jumped right on it.  He realized that he may not see another woman like this in his life-time; therefore, he took the necessary steps to pursue the woman all the way to marriage. He  was careful not to place her in a compromising position, telling her to let it not be known that she spent the night with him on the threshing floor. The Bible makes it clear that they did not have sex that night on the threshing floor.

I feel that this Proverbs 18:22 has been unnecessarily taken out of context. Because of the interpretation taught in the church many women feel like their worth comes from a man pursuing them for marriage and if a man isn’t pursing her for marriage her worth is little to nothing at all. That is not true. A woman is a good thing before the man finds her because that woman is made good by God. Her worth is the same before and after marriage.

Many women fall into temptation and get caught up because the men who are pursuing them are only pursing them for sex, and they figure if they can’t get wifed the right way they will try something different, but that is not how it should be.

Women should not be taught to just wait around for a man to approach them to be wifed, but to grow in discernment, wisdom, grace, beauty, character and godliness looking to God to provide the right gentlemen for them who will honor them and treat them like the treasure that they are. That way when they do come into contact with men they will know how to choose wisely.

I am hidden treasure because I am wise. I know how to go in and out, when to speak and when to shut my mouth.

I am hidden treasure because I am a builder. I build others up around me instead of tear them down. I use my time wisely working well with what is in my possession to do. I am intuitive finding out new things that will benefit others around me as well as things that will benefit my future family such as healthy eating recipes, money-saving tips, and all sorts of things. I am an encourager meaning that no one around me will feel that they cannot make it because I will be there to build them up when it is in my power to do so. With God I can do anything; therefore, I will encourage others to believe the same about themselves.

I am hidden treasure because my husband will be able to have a place of peace and comfort where he can find pleasure, love, wisdom and respect without having to worry about me sleeping with other men or giving him an STD.

I am hidden treasure because I know who I am in Christ, and  I belong to God. Women should be learning how to be wise women, learning how to be builders, how to use their time wisely looking to God who protects us and not to men. Women should be encouraged to use discernment when talking to these men that approach them knowing their worth and that they are not to entertain every man who comes their way. The Bible says to “Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge” (Proverbs 14:7, KJV).

Lastly, Proverbs 18:22 is not meant to place women in bondage saying that we cannot show interest in a man, or converse with a man. It all depends on the wisdom for each specific situation. Some situations may require that you say nothing or do nothing, while others may require that you make your interest known. We have to know how to move in every situation. We see that Ruth showed interest in Boaz after getting wisdom from someone who knew better.

Many people will argue that Boaz showed interest in Ruth first, but according to the scriptures, I see a close relative of Ruth’s mother-in-law being nice to his relatives’ relative and also being a professional business man. Ruth was a new face gleaning in his field. He wanted to make sure she was protected from any men who may try to take advantage of her. He didn’t want a sexual harassment case. He invited her to lunch with other workers, it wasn’t just him and Ruth alone, and the Bible says that she set with the other reapers in the field when they went to lunch. This treatment is not clear that Boaz was interested in Ruth for marriage. It is clear that he is a nice gentlemen who fears God. Women have to be careful not to read too much into men becoming presumptuous about their actions. 

Ruth chose to show interest in Boaz for marriage in an unassuming way and that is the correct way to deal with a man if interest must be shown. What I mean by unassuming is that is that Boaz could not take away from her approach that she was a silly woman only looking for a get-down time, a Jezebel woman looking to coerce her way into a marriage with him, but a wise woman looking to be valued as a wife.

The way that Ruth showed interest in Boaz was common in that culture for a woman to show interest in a man by uncovering his feet and lying down (Archaeological study Bible, Pg. 387). When dealing with men, women just need to have wisdom. I have four brothers, my dad and two male cousins that I am close with. So, I know a thing or two about men. Men do not like to feel or appear to be belittled. It’s a part of their nature, and the Bible says for a woman not to usurp authority over a man (1 Timothy 2:12). That basically means that a woman should be able to deal with a man in such a way as not to strip him of the authority given to him by God as the head.

After a woman shows interest or as she interacts with a man, the man still needs to be able to take the lead as the head. If he isn’t able to, then either the woman is out of place taking on that role herself or the man doesn’t know who he is and should be left alone until he grows and matures. However, there is no hard evidence in the Bible that says a woman should not show interest in a man. That is my take on Proverbs 18:22 along with the fact that the take away for women should be that we are treasures or good things and men need to see us as such in order to be our husbands.

What are the character traits about you that make you hidden treasure? Are there things that you need to work on? What is your take on Proverbs 18:22?