From previous posts you can see that I am not for aimlessly dating around. At this point in my life, I feel that it is clearer than ever that those who God has placed a desire to one day be married will have a season of courtship where the couple bought together by God will court one another for the specific purpose of getting to know one another for marriage.
At that point the couple would probably be somewhat excited that the person he or she is with is in line with God’s will for their lives, in addition to the fact that shortly after courtship and marriage it will be going down. With all of the excitement of the season, how do you keep the reigns of purity on the relationship while waiting for the appropriate moment to let it all go down. 1 Corinthians 10:13 – No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
The couple will need to set boundaries specific to the needs of the couple where both parties agree: The needs of one couple to remain pure may differ from the needs of another couple to remain pure in courtship. For example, I’ve known couples who have waited until marriage to kiss while other couples kissed prior to marriage and still got to the alter without having sex.
For myself I have had reoccurring problems with my sex-drive being in over drive as a single which is very frustrating because nothing can be done about it as a single. That’s why I prefer to go the route of not kissing until marriage. My choice not to kiss until marriage will allow my hormones to be somewhat more stable.
Also, because of my lack of physical experience in the area of sex, kissing, and a man’s touch, I still have a curiosity about those things. By waiting to experience those things after marriage, I will be free to explore my curiosities without worrying about going overboard.
Maintaining purity in the courting relationship has a lot to do with knowing yourself, and being honest with yourself regarding the things that can be handled with discipline and the things that need to be postponed.
Other boundaries specific to a couple’s needs include not chilling in each others apartments alone, spending time with family together and other couples, hanging out in public, not talking on the phone too late at night, being mindful of the types of movies watched together. All of these things protect the purity in a relationship.
Finally covering one another’s weaknesses helps with the with purity in courting as well. I have a friend who is soon to be engaged and she shared that when her boyfriend brings up a physical fantasy that he has she does not respond to it by continuing that conversation or going into any further detail she just changes the subject.
Despite the couple being a mature and godly couple, they still had that weak moment that my friend shared with me. Even the mature and godly get weak sometimes, and that is when someone has to step up and make a mature decision to continue to seek to honor God. Therefore, when one party gets weak the other has to be strong and cover the weakness in that moment.
For more on setting boundaries to please God read a previous post about boundaries at the link: Setting Boundaries in Dating to Honor God and Maintain Purity
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