Have you ever dated a guy while deep inside knowing he wasn’t the one for you. I think back to when I was in my twenties. I remember dating a guy who I labeled as my friend at the time. We were on our way back from downtown on the train from watching The Matrix Reloaded. As we rode the train, my date held me in his arms. It was a really nice experience, but I remember thinking this cannot go on because deep inside I knew he wasn’t who God had for me yet the feeling that I got from being close to him only pulled me closer. I was young and gaining my experience to later learn the lesson of dating in dishonesty.
While I labeled our relationship as just friends, it was clear that the gentleman wanted more and the more that he wanted, I was not willing to give him because for one, we were unequally yoked. I had a relationship with God and he did not. We were together often because we were co-workers and therefore our bond grew stronger. I enjoyed his attention, but all along inside I knew I would have to give it up. Not only did I know, but God begin to warn me. I had two dreams from God warning me about the young man. Plus, a friend and mentor God had placed into my life warned me too.
After, still flirting with what God did not want for me, finally God did what good fathers do who cover their children. He removed him out of my life. All of a sudden, the guy’s family ended up moving to somewhere I had never heard of and we lost touch. The situation was not in vain, but taught me just how interested God is in my success.
God will do what is necessary to get us to the relationship that he has for us. While I was dishonest and avoiding the signs, God was covering me. Thank you Jesus! How many of us hold on to a dating relationship just because we feel like dating is what we are supposed to do knowing deep down inside that the gentleman that we are dating isn’t the one for us? What if God was asking you to wait instead of date?
I remember talking to one of my buddies in college. She shared with me that she was prophesied to that she is not supposed to date like other people, but to wait. At the time we were having this conversation, I had not heard anyone talk like that before. I was still in my stage of wondering why certain women had to wait so long. I just kind of noted it in my mind as interesting and that was it.
Now that I am older, I can of course see the benefit of not just dating around, but instead enjoying life with friends and family as I walk with God knowing that he will reveal my husband just as he does with the men he doesn’t want me to waste my time with. Lesson learned don’t be dishonest. Don’t ignore what God is speaking to you inside. Don’t date someone selfishly for your own personal needs knowing God will not allow you to give more.
It was okay for me back then to learn that lesson, but as an adult who is 32 years old, I should not have to re-learn that lesson as if it has never been taught. So, I very rarely date. That doesn’t mean that men are completely non-existent from my life. I have a couple of guy friends that I can talk to here and there as simply brothers in the Lord. I will continue in this vein until God leads me to something different because I choose to no longer date dishonestly. Instead, I’ll just wait.
In this series of dating versus waiting we will look at the Dishonesty in dating, This idea of a soulmate, should men wait too, is it easier for men than women to wait, wisdom for opposite sex friendships, maintaining holiness in the season of courtship, dating versus courting, and the result of waiting. Stay tuned to this blog series for great insight, fun conversation, and of course God’s word.
Watch the supplemental intro video to, “Dating Vs. Waiting”, the series below:
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