While we live in this world we are not to live as those of the world’s system. As believers, we operate according to a different system and that system is the kingdom of God. This means as believers we have to be discerning about the wisdom and knowledge that we take in as it will either lead us to continue on the straight and narrow path or to veer off the path. The things that Kevin Samuels teaches on his YouTube channel can very easily lead many away especially women.
Sadly, many women are seeking advice from a father type figure, yet everyone who attempts to fill that role doesn’t have the heart of a father to protect, provide, and act as a priest—one who leads people to Christ and the full life God has for his people. Below are 5 reasons I believe Kevin Samuel’s teachings are dangerous for single women.
He encourages women to devalue themselves
At a woman’s core, she desires security. Many men interpret this to mean financial security, but this will differ depending on the woman. In most cases, when dealing with a whole mature woman, she is secure when she is with a man who genuinely values her, is willing to love her, protect her, and cherish her. God has given women the right to practice discernment in communicating with a brother and vetting him for marriage if she so chooses; however, that right is gravely diminished for women who follow Kevin Samuel’s teachings. This process should be rushed according to Kevin because a woman should be elated that a “high-value man” took interest in her. Thus, by the 3rd date, she needs to gap her legs open for sex to repay the man. At that point, the man will decide if the woman is someone he can choose for a spouse.
God’s word shares that when we commit these sexual acts outside of marriage, we sin against ourselves. We are opening ourselves up to become one with someone who may or may not want to proceed further with us. This type of behavior requires a woman to become cold and bitter if she continues to endure this type of treatment from men. It requires her to put off her natural needs to be loved to be used. Men are excused of responsibility in this scenario because they are high-value. They make so much money that women should just be cool with this behavior according to Kevin.
However, women have a responsibility to protect themselves. This means ladies that if a man isn’t valuing you enough to protect you; you have to protect yourself. You are not obligated to sacrifice your peace of mind on the altar of a “high-value man.” Women who follow Kevin’s teachings are taught to idolize the high-value man at their own expense. Something the Bible clearly warns against.
See 1st Corinthians 6:18
He fails to give grace and mercy to single mothers
Out of all of the women, the high-value man should be able to become sexually involved with it should be the single mother according to Kevin’s videos. There is a greater demand and expectation for the single mother to be easy when it comes to a high-value man because she is looked at as having already been sexually active; thus, she should not have a problem continuing her previous behavior with the high-value man. After all, no high-value man wants a single mom when other younger women are available with no kids. This is simply manipulation. It’s a mind-trick to make the single mother believe that she is somehow less worthy of waiting until marriage to have sex because she’s done it in her past. Does this sound familiar to any of my readers? This sounds like condemnation—a trick that Satan pulls on God’s children to convince them to continue in sin because they’ve already sinned in the past. There is no redemption for the single mom according to Kevin. If the high-value man cannot count on any woman for sex, for sure, he should be able to count on the single mom. She should be so desperate and thankful that a high-value man chose her that she should be ready. Why does such a high-value man need to manipulate a woman to get her to want him? Why can’t he just present himself as an awesome guy and court the woman according to her standards and the woman of her own accord decides to give her hand to him in marriage and surrender herself to him including her body? This is because the high-value man excuses himself of working on himself. He hides behind the fact that he has money hoping that will draw a woman to him who agrees with his behavior. This is similar to a pimp, who breaks a woman down, sends her out on the street to do the dirty work, and collects the money from her. It’s irresponsible and not characteristic behavior of a suitable husband. In other words, the high-value man, like a pimp, puts the woman at greater risk by pimping her to men who do not value her and he receives the benefit. Do you see the correlation?
Even God himself humbled himself and he is the highest value man there ever was to win the favor of his bride—the church. He displayed his desire for the church by having mercy on her not holding her sin against her, but forgiving her, protecting her, and covering her with his covenant. God’s bride in turn willingly submits to him and God doesn’t have to beg for what he wants. We are willing in light of God’s goodness toward us. This is the type of relationship we ought to seek to have. This is the type of relationship we are worthy of—someone who values us as God does—someone who loves us like Christ.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship. – Romans 12:1
He encourages men to draw their value and worth from the amount of money they make
A high-value man is a man who makes six figures. Supposedly, this is the man that all of us women are supposed to want. This man dresses nice and can have his pick of the best of the bunch. I shared earlier how if the main thing a man has to bring to the table is just his money and not integrity, well-developed character, a fear for God, direction, love, care, humility then the high-value man isn’t worth much to many women when it comes to choosing a marriage partner. Money can buy a body, but it cannot buy love. Money cannot keep a relationship together for 40 years. There are women out there who would be open to a relationship based on money and not love. Perhaps that is the audience he is targeting. It should not be the church and those of us in the church should not value a man off of his money alone.
The Responsibility for Marriages to work seems to be placed on the women and not both the men and women
This point I’ve noted from my male friends who listen to Kevin Samuels as though he is speaking for them and defending them from all of the rejection they’ve ever faced from a woman in their lives. An emphasis is placed on the low marriage rate in the Black community and the high incidence of single motherhood. Feminism and the advances that came because of feminism are the culprits behind this they say. Thus, Black women need to get with the available brothers to bridge this gap. Women of old before the advances of the feminist movement were able to get married young and marriages stayed together for a long time they say.
My thoughts: First, it cannot be assumed that women are single because they are feminists. I do not know any feminist women single or married. These are assertions that are assumed of women without having a conversation with them which is disrespectful. What many women are aware of are the positive aspects of living in 2021 as a woman. We can go to work as women and make enough money to take care of ourselves which eliminates one of the main reasons women of the old school got married which was to leave their parent’s home.
The requirements to gain a wife have gotten higher since the 1950s. Men have to bring more than money to the table. Women have to be genuinely interested in the man. This is good for both sides because both the man and the woman have an opportunity to have the peace of mind that someone is choosing them for them and not their money. This is true if we vet people well. This isn’t a bad thing. It simply requires more effort on both sides, not just one side.
The responsibility for marriages to work should not simply be placed on the woman. This is a huge turn-off to feminine women when a man wants her to take responsibility for herself and him instead of him taking responsibility for his role in a potential relationship as well.
Another important note is as women became freer to work and to vote and have a respectable place in society; domestic violence has decreased. This is in part because women aren’t staying in those scenarios as much as they used to because the man was the provider and the woman could not take care of the children financially on her own. Again, another positive aspect of the women’s suffrage movement. Finally, it’s not a woman’s job to take on a savior complex for the Black community to lend herself out to a man she isn’t interested in to save the marriage rate in the Black community. A woman’s standards should be respected enough to make herself available to the gentleman of her choice. Period!!!!
He takes away or doesn’t respect a woman’s right to choose for herself
Kevin was in a video I viewed on Instagram telling a woman that she should not be attracted to her potential husband or suitor. It’s not about her but him. She is the attractive one. This is in line with the woman being treated like a trophy wife. A trophy wife is there for appearances. She simply makes the man look good so he has bragging rights to other men on how he was able to bag her―this reeks of emptiness. This type of relationship is only one-sided. Only the man gets the benefit he desires and the woman gets to feel like she is on parade. Does she get love? Perhaps not. Does she get exclusivity? Perhaps not. A woman’s desires, needs, and vision for her life are important too. No woman will get what she needs by caving into chauvinistic selfish men. We have to hold up standards for ourselves. Our standards protect us. If a man doesn’t meet your most valued standards; move on. You have a right as a woman to do so.
Any man who treats you like you are his property because he is a man and you are a woman and thus you need to fall in line isn’t worthy of you. He simply doesn’t respect you. There seems to be an entitlement spirit with Kevin and his audience of men because they have money. Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of mutual respect, not one party controlling the other. Control is normally a trait of the insecure. A person is so insecure and full of fear that they make extra concessions to ensure things will work out as they wish. If the high-value man is so valuable, why does he have to control what a woman does? Why does he have to trick her―manipulating her out of her values? This is witchcraft and mind control. The Bible is clear that rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. Don’t rebel against your God-given values and standards for yourself due to witchcraft and mind control from others. Remember our boundaries and values we set up to protect us. They also show us who genuinely cares about us and who only wants to use us. Without proper values, we are like desperate men groping and grappling for stability. People who abandon their values live in a broken place.
Add a woman has a right to choose without providing an explanation why she did not choose a particular gentleman. A woman doesn’t have to say yes or welcome a guy’s attention she isn’t interested in and that should be respected just like a man’s choice should be respected. If a woman isn’t attracted to a brother, she doesn’t have to pretend she is.
I could go on. Many of Kevin’s teachings for men are rooted in narcissism, which is such a self-indulged way of thinking that satisfies one’s self-indulgence does so at the expense of others—particularly women. We cannot raise strong families on narcissistic, chauvinistic thinking. Both men and women need to be treated like two equal parties in Christ who value one another and the unique aspects of manhood and femineity that complement one another. Men and women were made together in the image of God to complement one another while honoring God—not to fight against each other. None of Kevin’s ungodly doctrine should be championed in the church or among church circles. Simply put it’s dangerous and reckless.
Nevertheless, neither is the man without the woman, neither is the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so, is the man also by the woman; but all things of God. – 1 Corinthians 11:11-12
Simply put, both men and women need each other. We should be working on humbling ourselves to one another to become one instead of fighting against one another and pointing the finger. It only breeds further division.
Disclaimer: This is a Christian blog. Therefore, I cannot allow comments that demean a person based on their ethnicity, race, gender, familial status, single status or has provocative language such as using four letter words. Thank you for being respectful with your comments!
