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A New Level of Access & Favor:

I’ve been meditating on Esther and Mordecai during my quiet time, and I really believe that God has been using that story to communicate to me that there is a new level of favor, access, and open doors coming to his people that are willing to take the risk of unconventional obedience.

Unconventional obedience is not the norm. It’s obedience that makes us vulnerable and has obvious risks. For example, Esther was in a comfortable position as the queen of the kingdom she ruled over with her husband. She did not have anything to worry about, but her people were in danger.
Thus, she willingly made herself uncomfortable placing herself at risk to approach the king knowing that meant her very life would be at risk. She obeyed anyway being led of the Lord after a fast she had called for both herself and her people to go on.

They were fasting because an enemy of the Jews, Haman, had ordered by law that the Jews would be killed on a particular day of the month. Esther’s obedience along with the obedience of her elder cousin, Mordecai unlocked favor and additional open doors to the Jewish people in that region. Mordecai had been ridiculed for not bowing down to Haman. He’d been made to appear as a fool for his obedience to God instead of to Haman, but God was working behind the scenes for his good.

I believe that like Mordecai appeared to be foolish in holding fast to his conviction and getting in trouble for it; many of God’s people have been holding fast to their God-given convictions and they’ve appeared foolish for it as well. Perhaps, those holding their convictions were not promoted as fast. They had to settle in a humble place for a good while, but that is okay because we learn the Lord best in humility. Our trust grows in him the most in that humble place.

Haman was the very opposite. He was so full of pride. He needed to be humbled and God orchestrated the circumstance in such a way to do just that. Esther, who had already come from a humble place of losing both of her parents and being raised by her elder cousin, already knew how to humble herself. She humbled herself with fasting and prayer. She humbled herself to her king asking him to attend a banquet. Favor was already ordained for her. She just had to obey what God was showing her to do in faith that things would turn out well. The king’s response was, “I’ll give you whatever you want up until half of the kingdom.”

While the king was attempting to sleep the night before the banquet; God would not allow him to do so. He read up on how Mordecai had saved his life. Haman was consulted by the king on what to do to honor Mordecai. Mordecai’s enemy, Haman, was made his footstool. Haman had to parade Mordecai around dressed in the king’s clothes and riding the king’s royal horse. It was only the beginning of the shift of Haman being bought low and Esther and Mordecai being promoted.


The banquet took place. Esther asked the king for her life and the life of her people. Again, although she was comfortable in the king’s house. She made herself uncomfortable to intercede for her people in obedience to God. The king granted her request, hung Haman, promoted Haman’s estate to Esther, and Esther appointed Mordecai over Haman’s estate. Finally, the king gave both Esther and Mordecai his seal to reverse the law that had gone out to destroy the Jews. Instead, the law was re-written to place residents in fear of the Jews given them explicit right to defend themselves.

Had Esther not obeyed, she would never have experienced God’s favor in a greater way. Her people may have still been in bondage and danger of genocide. Had Mordecai not obeyed in honoring the king, he would not have been promoted and honored by the king. What is it that God is pricking your heart to do? In what ways can you display your obedience to God that are uncomfortable, risky, or unconventional, but you know if you obey, doors will be open and God’s favor will ensue?

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Fantasia on Submission:

I love Fantasia. She is one of my favorite artists not only for her sanging but her realness and vulnerability in allowing the public to see what God is doing in her life. I think it’s so encouraging. I remember watching a documentary special of her sharing her testimony on YouTube. More recently, she commented on The Breakfast Club on why most women cannot find a man and its because they are trying to be the leader. She shared that it is a generational curse that stemmed from women being forced into the male role due to irresponsible men who leave women to raise the kids on their own. She shared that women become so bold and bad that they no longer know how to be soft women.

I’d have to agree that Fantasia makes a very real and legitimate point about women being forced into male roles, and thus not knowing how to operate outside of that when a man comes. I’ve also seen single women who have no kids who have become just as hard because of not encountering men who want to fulfill the role of protecting, covering, and leading a woman. Thus, women say to themselves, they don’t need a man out of bitterness and hardness toward men not stepping up. I’ve talked about this before. Bitterness is a trap that prevents us from giving and receiving love.

The only grievance I have with what Fantasia said is that’s why most women are single. Many women have overcome the let down of not knowing or encountering mature men of God who are ready to step up to the plate. These women have overcome by simply trusting in God and re-shifting their focus from those men to hope in God that a real brotha exists.

However, because these women are also single; they get lumped into a category that I view as condemnation. Women are condemned by some of the church culture for being single as if there is something wrong with them for that. It is because they will not submit, their a Jezebel, or God forbid other very mean things that church culture implies and imposes as labels on singles.

This pressure to get from underneath the umbrella of singleness to prove worthiness as women can be very harmful to women. A single woman should not focus so much on submitting to a man but reviewing the man’s character to see if he is worthy of submission. It should not be that she is looking to submit to a man just to be married.

Thankfully, Fantasia and her husband shared a video later on their Instagram to balance out the conversation and provide more insight into the male perspective. In short, her husband shared that many men have abused the gift of submission using it only to dominate and control instead of modeling submission first. Mr. Taylor shared that he models submission first in his submitting to God by feeding himself with the Word of God and becoming knowledgeable in important areas. Then, he shows his wife and she willingly follows. This is the precedent that he set for his house and it’s working. He gave an analogy of submission being a beautiful song and dance between two lovers. Thus, it takes two to submit. It isn’t all just on the woman, but the woman and the man work together.

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Benny Hinn Places Emphasis on the Lord & the Gospel above Prosperity:

Benny Hinn recently went viral with a message clarifying his stance on the prosperity gospel. He says he believes the whole Bible, every part, including the undeniable fact that God does want to bless his people and that God will supply all of our needs.

However, he pointed to abuses of the prosperity gospel where manipulation is used to get people to give instead of provoking people to give from the heart. He went on to share that if one isn’t giving because s/he loves Jesus; s/he should not bother giving.

Hinn shared how he was concerned that many who taught the prosperity message weren’t focuses on Jesus. They were focusing on the idea of buying something that is wanted with giving. He shared he’d never ask anyone to give a thousand dollars again.

Finally, he shared a concern for when ministers promise a 100-fold blessing for giving a particular amount. He asked the question, “what if someone gives a thousand and doesn’t get the 100-fold blessing?” What will happen to that person’s faith? Will s/he fall away from God?

I believe Benny Hinn bought up some valid concerns including the value in brokenness that causes us to lean on Christ. I do believe that God is more concerned with the heart of man as God already promises to take care of all of our natural needs such as money, shelter, clothing, etc. I don’t believe we should place so much focus on money outside of being diligent with what God gives us to do to earn money such as work, ideas, and businesses.

The manipulation of some ministries has become somewhat of a gimmick that distracts away from the gospel. I agree with Benny that we should give out of our love and obedience to God. That’s how I give. I do not allow anyone to manipulate me out of money. I remember an example of a prophet coming to one of my old churches. He asked the audience to give $2,000 each for an anniversary celebration for the pastor. I was a college student at the time, who worked work-study and did not have very much income.

The prophet instructed someone to pass a microphone around to the whole church so each member could pledge the $2,000 in front of everyone that day. He instructed us to say we’d give $2,000. When the mic got to me and I was asked how much I’d give, my response was simply I don’t know yet. He said what do you mean you don’t know yet? You’re a member, aren’t you? I said yes. After that, he did not know how to respond. So, he asked me if the gentleman sitting next to me was my husband. I said no, he was my brother. He told me to pass the mic to see what he’d give.

He said $2,000. He said, okay, you’re covered by his $2,000. My brother did not have $2,000 and he was later corrected by one of the elders in the church for pledging what he could not give because they were counting on that. However, under the pressure, what was he to do?

I was familiar with the scriptures that warn to be careful what we vow because God will require us to pay it. Thus, I had my mind made up to give my best whatever that was and I believe that’s okay in the eyes of God. The Bible says that all that we do should be done as unto the Lord anyway not unto man. I did a little fundraiser at my college which allowed me to earn an extra $50. I put that together with other money I had and ended up giving maybe $200 at best. It was far from $2,000, but it was what I had. I gave it as unto the Lord and because I did also love my pastor and desired to honor her. She had no problem with what I gave either. Neither does the Lord have a problem when people give less than the money that’s being asked of them.

The Bible is clear that we aren’t to give out of compulsion, or reluctantly, but as we’ve purposed in our heart. God wants us to be cheerful with what we’ve given. He isn’t trying to drive us into a rut from giving.
We can still reap all of the good benefits of giving without giving out of being manipulated. Like Benny said the main thing is that we have a heart after God. If we seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness as the scripture says all things will be added unto us. Never allow someone to make you feel condemned for not giving a particular dollar amount.

Read the scriptures for yourself about tithes and offerings, and give that out of obedience. Allow yourself to be sensitive to God’s spirit when he places people on your heart to give to. This has happened to me before in the area of giving. God bought my former staff leader from I.V.C.F. (InterVarsity Christian Fellowship) to mind. He placed on my heart to sow a seed toward him.

I had not spoken with him nor seen him in years. However, he called me out of the blue shortly after God put him on my heart and explained he was starting a new ministry from his house and wanted to know if I’d sow a seed. I told him the Lord had already dealt with me, and I’d give him a particular amount. I was glad, happy, and cheerful to give as unto the Lord what I’d already purposed before I got the call from the gentleman. I will reap a blessing from that, but I already felt blessed because I was able to obey God.

God wants fellowship with us more than anything. The joy I got in fellowshipping with God to bless a previous mentor in my life was what made me cheerful. This is what I believe Benny Hinn is getting at. We simply cannot leave Jesus out of the equation appealing to men to get money so they could only get things.

Finally, Jesus warned in John 6 about this very same thing. He’d just fed men with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread, and these same men began to search for Jesus after the feeding ordeal had ended. When they finally found Jesus; Jesus corrected them saying, “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed, but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.” – John 6:36

Jesus was warning them that people can search for him without actually wanting him, but that isn’t what he desires. He wants us to search for him to know him. He also wants us to trust him that all other things will be taken care of.

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for

God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7

“When you make a vow to the LORD your God, you shall not delay to pay it, for it would be sin in you, and the LORD your God will surely require it of you. “However, if you refrain from vowing, it would not be sin in you. “You shall be careful to perform what goes out from your lips, just as you have voluntarily vowed to the LORD your God, what you have promised. – Deuteronomy 23:21-23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters. Colossians 3:23

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Lessons Learned from Married at First Sight Season 9

The show is winding down and this week we’ll see who stays together and who does not. Below I’ve given my synopsis of who I think will stay together and why along with some lessons to be noted for those who wish to have an awesome relationship one day.

Matt and Amber
I saw the error in picking these two to be together from day one. Matt has too many unresolved issues and a pattern of running away from things that appear to be difficult or uncomfortable. So, his parents got a divorce and he was disappointed. Through his disappointment, he has not communicated with his parents in years. This was noted in the first episode.

My first question was why has he not communicated with his family? Why hasn’t he reached out even if they don’t want to talk with him? That is family. His family did not even know he was getting married, so his parents weren’t at his wedding. Matt has some real communication issues, and perhaps some hurt and bitterness toward his parents that he refuses to address. Instead, he runs. He ran to Married at First Sight hoping his marriage would fix his issues, but it didn’t. It only showed him that he wasn’t ready for the real work that marriage required.

His lack of ability to address his issues causes him to project on other people. This is why Amber is the problem in his eyes. This was shared when he said she was too clingy and how he just needed to getaway. Perhaps she is, but that doesn’t negate him taking his responsibility as a man. He just simply was not ready and thus, I do not believe he and Amber will stay together.

Matt should be working on the relationships God has already given him such as with his parents. He needs to find a way to honor his parents and love them and to be present in their lives in spite of their mistakes. He needs personal healing for himself and it will only be found in him facing his issues and taking responsibility. Only after he’s done that can he look toward marriage or else he’ll continue not to take it seriously as he’s been doing.

Iris and Keith
Big-ups to Iris and Keith! Did you all see the cute hug and multiple kisses where each one of them came back for more of each other? That’s what I am talking about! It seems like what they have is genuine, which means that since this show is pre-recorded and we’re just now seeing it; Iris more than likely has already popped open that cookie jar.

I’m proud of these two for actually not just jumping right in focusing on the physical only. They seem to have taken the time to get to know each other. After all, they were just strangers meeting at the altar. I’m proud of Keith for verbalizing that he wanted to honor Iris and wait until she was ready and share that he was not ready. He seemed to take this exercise very seriously and Iris too. She did not allow the peer pressure from others telling her to just give in and be sexual immediately so she would not lose Keith. Because what Iris seemed to place value on was real love and genuine connection, she was not willing to compromise and play the game of changing who she is to avoid losing someone.

That shows her strength and confidence in who she is as a person. That’s a great quality for Keith or any man to have. Many women are too afraid to take the stand she has and they simply play the game of changing who they are to be “loved.” When you know you’re already loved and you’re worthy of real love; you simply do not settle. If her being herself meant she may have lost this awesome man; it would have meant he just wasn’t for her. Iris realized that if Keith was really into her as she seemed to be into him; he would not leave her because she did not have sex with him within 8 weeks. Marriage means the rest of their lives or at least it’s supposed to.

I believe that both Iris and Keith were looking for more than just sex. I believe they were looking for life-partners. They have a lot of the same values, as shared by Keith on last week’s episode, and desires. They seem to also share the same purpose, as well as both of them, work with kids. Finally, they seem to have mutual respect for one another. I believe with these foundational things in place; they’ll be just fine and that they will stay together.

Greg & Deonna
Greg & Deonna are super lovely! Deonna has some obvious walls up. Sometimes she seems as if she can do with or without her husband, but her husband seems to love her. No matter what she throws at him in the form of her walls; his love breaks those walls right on down.

I love the way he looks at her, values, and respects her. That is everything to a woman. I’m pretty sure Deonna will say yes to staying married to him. Greg seems to be every woman’s dream. Perhaps Deonna just isn’t used to being loved like many of us, and thus it’s taking her some time to believe that her experience with Greg is really true. Well, this is a scenario where Deonna will have to become more open in showing Greg how much she appreciates him. As women, we do not want to take the awesome men God’s placed in our lives for granted.

Jamie & Beth
Hmm, what can I say about this couple? When two people just aren’t good for each other; they need to realize that and move forward. Everyone we date or seek to have a romantic relationship with will not be a perfect match, and that is okay. It doesn’t mean that one person isn’t worth love or vice versa. It just simply means; it isn’t a good match. I believe this sums up Jamie and Beth. They aren’t a good match. While Beth is a bit weird into her moon water and such; I don’t believe Jamie takes her seriously unless it comes to them having sex. That seems to be the main bonding point for Jamie.

While Beth wants everything. She wants a man to adore her. I feel like watching them together that Jamie sometimes appears to be speaking to a child when he argues with Beth. He said he wanted someone who was somewhat spontaneous and a bit of a wildflower, but it seems he cannot handle that. He seems to need a woman who is more reserved, laid-back, and quiet. He seems to want someone who also just wants to have a lot of sex while making him feel comfortable. I do not believe they will stay together, and thus they need to accept that they just aren’t a good match.

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It’s some Real Men of God Out Here Suffering for Righteousness:

There are many testimonies of women of God waiting on a spouse wanting to do things God’s way. However, men in the same position have not been shown as much as women have. Maybe this is because there are more women than men, but the lack of seeing single men in the forefront living for God can very easily harm the women living for God. It’s easy to become discouraged, angry, and bitter.

That anger, bitterness, and discouragement can become a trap that causes a woman to be stuck. This is why Satan loves to paint the picture that no men are standing for God in the area of sexual purity and obedience to God in the season of singleness.

This is also why we have to be intentional about what we hear and place our focus on. Many men are standing for God. I have some personal friends that I walk with and we encourage one another. Dee-1 just released an album called, “God and Girls.” On the album, he shares about how he’s had to turn certain girls down because they weren’t on the same page with him as far as honoring and walking with God.

Suffering for righteousness simply means to forego something that is needed at the moment for a greater purpose. Yeah, I could use a spouse and give my hormones some relief, but there is a greater priority of being able to honor God with my spouse and walk before the Lord in his purpose for my life. There is a compromise of self-seeking pleasure that has found its way into the body of Christ, and those who don’t yield to it often find themselves single a lot longer, but women of God aren’t the only ones.

Dee-1 not only shared about his standard, but he speaks about protecting and standing with real women of God. There is some real encouragement on that album. His song “Narrow Road” that features Christon Gray, discusses his decision to be sold out for Christ even in his desire for a godly wife.

Anthony Evans, son of Pastor Tony Evans is also one who has been single for an extended time as a man. I know at least for men of God who were virgins when they got married; It isn’t as talked about, but we aren’t alone as women standing in obedience to God. The enemy wants to make it look that way to get us down, but we gotta focus on the truth and not what things look like.

I’ve been in an awesome place for some years now as far as my contentment in the Lord as a single woman. I thought I was content before, but it’s gone to a whole other level. A huge part of that is the many trials and tribulations I’ve been through where God’s shown me that he is with me. It certainly doesn’t hurt to listen to albums dedicated to women, who are like me, such as Dee-1’s. He’s even got Johnathan Mcreynolds on one track where they discuss looking for a godly girl. Can you believe it? Women like you and me being celebrated? Yes! I’m here for it!
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The next time the enemy tries to torment you making you afraid that obeying God will mean that you will always stand alone; tell the devil he is a liar and re-shift your focus on the truth.

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Virgin Shaming & the Fears that Come with It:

First things first, sex is very private, but Iris & Keith’s relationship on Married at First Sight has bought a large television audience into some of the day-to-day virgin shaming and fears produced because of it. Just take a look at some of the comments on social media about Iris to see what I mean.

Iris married Keith at first sight and later shared with him that she was a virgin. He seemed to welcome Iris with her virginity and all saying he’d be patient with her because he wanted their relationship to work.

Later, as the show progressed and the couple had not yet consummated their marriage, Keith shared the concern with Iris that her virginity may be an issue. With the pressure of marrying a man, she did not know and trying to build a relationship with him the added pressure and real fear that she may lose him if she doesn’t get with the program and become sexual real soon lingered. No one wants to have sex because of pressure. It should be done in genuineness when the two are ready in a scenario such as with MAFS.

Not to mention, something that should be special and private is being broadcast before millions on television. All of this pressure kind of put their physical intimacy at a standstill until this week. This week pastor Kyle talked with Keith while the sex therapist, Dr. Vivian Coles spoke with Iris. Getting some outside advice seemed to help them to get out of the funk of a standstill when it comes to intimacy.

However, virgin shaming is a real thing. Virgins are often very mature in many ways if they’re well-balanced like Iris, but no matter how sharp; they get placed in the immature category. It’s normal to shame or talk down to or about virgins. We sometimes become dumping cans for those who want to chide someone for being perfect. Just listen to some of your Sunday sermons, or take a look at social media where loose comments are thrown around to bring virgins back down to reality.

We are placed on a pedal-stool of perfection when in reality we are just human with the same basic needs as everyone else―love, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Because of the false perception of virgins; many virgins operate out of fear and fell to be themselves.

Virgins must conquer the fear of being misunderstood, never being loved, and virgins must accept themselves for who they are. We have to continue to develop in other areas outside of our sexuality despite those who limit us to the achievement of waiting for sex only. I remember one day I had gotten a prophetic word at a conference that said there is someone in this room who’s been through a lot of persecution and rejection, but God wants you to know the place where you are at is safe now.

It was about the persecution I’d been through back to back to back. I’d been in so much persecution for so long concerning my identity and also my virginity that I’d gotten tired of fighting. I was drained. I went into the restroom and cleansed my face because I’d been crying about the word. A young lady I’d seen a few times was in the restroom and I shared about the word and my virginity as if being a virgin was the reason I’d gone through so much and she told me it was a good thing to be a virgin.

I don’t think I’d heard anyone say that before. I’d been learning how to hate and despise myself by how others saw me and how I saw myself. That restroom break was the beginning of a new way of seeing myself. I’ve embraced who I am―all of who I am including my virginity. Yes, it’s something that many don’t understand and many people will place me in a category to tell me who I am and what I am worthy of and yes, I will lose male interests because of it, but it’s a part of who I am. I do think that because we as humans, in general, tend to remember the bad more than the good; we make a bigger deal of things than it really is.

Thankfully, Keith and Iris were able to get past it. They began opening up more physically, which is good. The real issue that was hindering their intimacy was communication. They needed to see things from each other’s perspective plus get a little guidance from the experts.

After they communicated and saw each other’s perspective; they were able to move forward.
The next time you think to shame a virgin for being a virgin; remember that we are human and communicate with us in respect and love to see things from our perspective as well. Don’t assume we are a particular way based on your insecurities that you refuse to address without first giving us a chance in getting to know us.
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Lastly, I’m so proud of Iris for being her genuine self on the show despite the opinions of others. There are often deep convictions that draw us to remain celibate until marriage such as our devotion to God. It’s God who empowers us to live this life and go through all of the persecution and discomfort attached to it. He uses it to make us stronger and more resilient. To all of the fellow virgins out there do not ever be ashamed of your choice to wait until marriage to have sex.
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Don’t believe the lies of the enemy or others, who put you on a pedal-stool to bring you down to see yourself as worthless. You are worthy of love, genuine affection and care just like every other human being.

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Trust God’s Plan for His Very Best for You:

Yesterday, I was reminded of how specific the hand of God has been in my life. From the job I’ve had to the choice of man, God has allowed in my life. It simply reminds me to continue to rest in God as I trust his plan for me to be the best.

God’s best is more than what we can think up for ourselves. It’s just as the scripture says exceeding, abundant, and above what we can ask or even think (Ephesians 3:20.) I recalled when I’d graduated from college and applied for various jobs in faith. I’d worked at temp agencies and wherever I could in expectation of a good job.

Doors kept being closed in my face. No was a norm with jobs I wanted, but I continued in faith and trusting God. I remember being at an assignment on one of my temp jobs, and a Christian lady said that she’d be praying for me that I’d get the right job—the job that God had for me. This statement implied there was a specific job that God had in mind for my life, and his purpose.

Well, 13 years later, I’ve been at that specific job. That job allows me to travel every year for free experiencing new places and adding to my personal development in so many ways. You see, God did not just want to give me a job. He wanted to give me so much more. Recently, I’ve been promoted at the same job, and I’ll be learning and growing in even more ways.

This job has been worth the wait, and disappointment in the closed doors while waiting for the specific job for me has been all worth it. That’s what happens when God’s hand is on something. We experience God’s fullness without the added stress or pressure of trying to make things happen.

The blessing of the Lord makes rich and adds no sorrow with it. – Proverbs 10:22

Yes, we remain diligent in faith, but after doing all that we can do; we rest in God. As far as love interests are concerned, I’ve not gotten to that blessing yet, but I can expect that it is on its way. The fact that the Lord has led me graciously regarding interests I’ve had in the past; these are all reminders and examples of God’s specificity in my life. Ways God has protected me regarding love interests include: not allowing wrong relationships to pan out, sending prophets to me to lift my spirit when I was down about an interest not working out. God did not leave me in the dark but valued me enough to give me clarity and re-enforce my identity.
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I’m not at all worried about my future. The remainder of God’s history of specificity with me reminds me that not only do I have a future, but I have the best future. Why? Not because I’ve earned it. Not because I’m good, but because God is good and He is trustworthy. God has used my life as an example to show that if you seek to honor God, not to be perfect, but genuine desire to honor him; for example, “Lord, I don’t know how to do this, but I want to honor you. Give me grace, and show me” God will take that and give us the power to honor him.
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There are benefits from honoring and obeying God. I genuinely believe that obedience to God is a way to unlock additional favor in our lives. I’m just thankful to be a recipient of God’s grace and goodness. God is no respecter of persons. What he’s done for me; he will do for others. That is one of my primary reasons for writing and sharing—to encourage others along this path of life to experience the joy of getting to know the Lord for themselves.

My son, do not forget my teaching,
    but keep my commands in your heart,
for they will prolong your life many years
    and bring you peace and prosperity.
Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
    bind them around your neck,
    write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
    in the sight of God and man. – Proverbs 3:1-4 (NIV)

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Just Go Through It:

I’ve talked about this before, but I want to reiterate because I’ve noticed some of my sisters and brothers in Christ causing themselves to be stuck by not leaning on the Lord when it comes to dealing with their insecurities of self-worth and worthiness of an appropriate spouse.

Instead of going through the uncomfortable faze of being single and unattached; some invite others into the space of a potential to hang out with no definition of being there. It isn’t a friendship, but a user-ship of men and women they have no business with. These men and women validate the questions of self-worth within a person; rather than that person relying on Christ for that worthiness.
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Yes, it’s uncomfortable to not have a potential that is qualified by God’s standard insight, but it is necessary to develop our trust in God and our character as we wait for what God has for us. If we genuinely trust God; we will be willing to trust God through the uncomfortable. This applies to any part of life where growth is needed.

If you are single and your hormones are burning up. Don’t rely on cheap fixes such as masturbation, air-humping, or porn. Go through it leaning on the Lord for his grace. If you are having problems dealing with difficult people at your job, in your family, or at church; go through it.

If you have a vision or dream God is directing you on, and it isn’t comfortable right now; go through it. If you are trusting God for something that has not panned out yet, and others simply do not understand; go through it.

In the below video, I share the benefits of continuing in an uncomfortable situation in trust, faith, and obedience to God. I share how God uses it to develop us; and those who choose to run from the hard places end up stuck, underdeveloped and in the same place.
Many who run from what’s uncomfortable never confront the real issues of what’s going on underneath their insecurity because their so busy covering their insecurity with distractions; while God is seeking to expose those insecurities for deliverance and reliance on him. Reliance on God is the precursor to miracles in our lives.

Running from discomfort results in resentment for staying in the same place when it’s our responsibility to do what’s necessary to move forward in life. Watch the video below to hear more about remaining in uncomfortable spaces to grow and develop and to also become more reliant upon God.

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Joshua Harris Renounces His Faith & Apologizes for Teachings in Books:

First, Joshua Harris renounced his books and now he’s renounced his faith in Jesus Christ. This is disheartening to the Christian community. You can see his Instagram post below where he makes statements specifically denouncing his faith and former self-righteousness:

Click to read full Instagram Post

It’s not uncommon for young people to have a form of self-righteousness as it relates to their faith or personal convictions. That’s no reason to leave the faith or deny Christ. That is a fault of our humanity which tends to pride. This is why we need Jesus, and God’s grace is enough to cover, heal, and forgive the self-righteous.

I read both of Joshua’s books coming up and personally, I did not see a problem with them. I recall him sharing his testimony in the first book about how he used to date to feel girls up and let his flesh loose sort of speak without looking for the commitment of marriage. He became convicted about that lifestyle and decided to kiss dating goodbye—no longer dating to please his flesh, but for a greater purpose. He wrote a workbook to follow-up with this idea assisting men in the workbook to choose love over lust.

He cautioned single men about the pitfalls of pornography and to have accountability with one another in their search for purity. Finally, he met his wife and continued to be transparent sharing about his courting experience, which is essentially dating, but with a specific purpose of marriage in mind. These were all good things that contributed well to the body of Christ; however, it’s the nature of man to look at things in extremes instead of for what it is.

There is a lot of imbalance in church culture regarding dating, purity, and the topic of relationships. Some took Joshua’s message and refrained from dating altogether no matter what their hearts were like. Many because of fear of being imperfect or impure; simply refused to date. Others said to heck with the idea altogether. They just did themselves tossing an idea that one can be pure and date with pure motives completely out the window.

All of this interpretation and misinterpretation can easily take the focus off of what truly matters placing it on rules instead of the disposition of our hearts. The most important thing for us as believers is not even to defend sexual purity, although it’s important. The most important thing is to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. When we genuinely love God the way he requires, everything else begins to line up in our lives including our sexual purity.

We will at that point date with the right intentions and purpose and no one will have to remind us to honor God with our bodies. There is entirely too much religion in the church meaning people doing things that appear religious without relying on the power of God.

When we do work, focus on morale, and rules without relying on knowing Christ and his power to keep us; we can easily fall away from the faith. Christ is the foundation and the life-blood of all that we are. Without him, we can do nothing. The greater acquainted with that revelation we become; the more firmly rooted we will become in Christ, and the harder it will be for us to fall away from the faith–because our faith isn’t built on our self-righteousness or ability to keep rules, but our ability to depend on the God who makes us righteous.

In this world, we will have questions, meet people of varying faiths and beliefs. This is why we have to study. We have to become lovers of the truth meditating on it day and night. It isn’t easy to be in a position like Joshua was–representing purity and carrying the weight of others and their interpretation on his shoulders, but that was not entirely his responsibility. Our responsibility as teachers of the gospel is to say what God gives us to say and not worrying about who receives it or not.

We are to be patient and to walk in love with all not grappling with who does not receive or believe what we’ve given. It’s God’s responsibility to convince men once they’ve heard the word God has given us to share. It’s men’s own choice to choose whether they will obey God. If they choose not to obey; their blood will not be required at our hands as long as we obeyed God in sharing what he’s given us. I pray that he comes back to himself and what’s important which is Jesus Christ and knowing him personally.

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Street Preacher Rebukes Kirk Franklin Commentary:

Recently, I’d seen on social media how a street preacher protested against Kirk Franklin outside of his concert. He boldly rebuked Kirk saying that he did not represent God properly at the BET Awards. He accused Kirk of listening to preacher’s who were drunk with wine and refused to shake Kirk Franklin’s hand.
See the brief video below:

First, it’s always good to have a healthy discourse about the Word of God and God in general. This is the most important topic for man-kind. It was also good the street preacher bought up the wrath of God as people have only associated God with love within the broader culture. However, it was clear that the brother has got to be young in the Lord or his faith because he was not using wisdom nor interpreting the scriptures properly. He used for an example a scripture stating:

​“The blood shall be up to the horses’ bridle.” – Revelations 14:20

This is a scripture that he suggested for Kirk to use on the Award show. What does that scripture mean? It seems to be of a unique context that most people may not be familiar with. It’s not wise to confuse people with passages of scripture that will require an enormous amount of explaining to get a simple point across.

The other scripture he misinterpreted is when he shared that Kirk had friends in the world, thus; he could not be a friend of God. That scripture does not mean that you literally cannot have an unsaved friend or associate. It is stating not to take on the spirit of the world which is clearly described as the lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. If we take on the spirit of the world; we cannot take on the spirit of Christ. They are opposite. The Bible is clear in John 17 that we are to be in the world and yet not of the world. There is a difference. Also, he bought up another scripture in John that says those that are born of Christ do not sin. Sinning means missing the mark, which is something that we all do including the street-preacher. The scripture in John is talking about intentional habitual sin. It is significant to having an unrepentant heart that is unwilling to change.

Secondly, he was very judgmental, which is a sure sign of a believer, who is young in the Lord. He accused Kirk Franklin of having a heart after money and fame instead of for God and people. How does he know what’s in Kirk Franklin’s heart? Because Kirk did his job, using his God-ordained gift to perform at the BET Awards. The Bible says we will know men by the fruit they bear. I have not seen any fruit that shows Kirk as the street preacher described him.

Instead, I’ve seen the opposite. Kirk seems to genuinely care about people. I met him only one time at a radio interview in Chicago. He had not had much sleep, but he insisted on listening to someone at the radio station who wanted a moment with him. He greeted all of us as if he had all the energy in the world, and even shared wise words of advice. If you ask me, I’d say he has a fathering spirit about him. He cares for many people that can benefit him in no way except for maybe buying his album(s).

Would the street preacher have preferred for Kirk to not have been at the Awards at all? That’s what would have happened had Kirk taken his advice in using the 3 minutes he was supposed to be performing to preach them a condemning sermon on how they all were going to hell. There would be no representation of light in darkness if the preacher’s advice was followed. Thus, it would be even more detrimental for the young kids that he spoke about who are influenced by entertainers who do not follow Christ.

It is far better to have artists like Kirk, Erica Campbell, and Johnathan McReynolds present to be a light and an example of what it means to follow Christ. This speaks louder than words of condemnation. This is a clear example of why the Bible says he that wins souls is wise. The street preacher is zealous without wisdom in this area. That’s why he isn’t called to a platform similar to that of Kirk for the time being.
However, I love Kirk’s response to the young brother. He responded with humility. People have commented on the look on Kirk’s face as if he was losing a battle with the young man, but Kirk is very sure on who he is and his calling in Christ. When you are sure on who you are and your calling in Christ; you don’t have to defend yourself. You can simply humble yourself and walk in love toward your accusers. He went the extra mile inviting the young man into conversation with himself, and his pastor Tony Evans afterward.

The young man, still immature in his walk with the Lord, stood firm on his zealous stance without proper knowledge. It was not a totally bad experience though. People who oppose others in such a way can keep others sharp as discipline, self-examination, and an aptitude to study the scriptures is often the result of dealing with such a person. Let’s keep the young man in prayer as he grows in his walk with the Lord. Let’s be thankful that he is in Christ. Let’s also continue to pray for some of our intercessors on the front-lines like Kirk Franklin that he will continue to stand firm in his submission to Christ and the gospel.

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