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The Climate of America

These last two weeks have been heavy. The climate of our country has been sensitive due to the overwhelming impact of several Black people being slain by Police officers or White aggressors in such a short time.

We watched the nation go into chaos as the last straw was drawn when George Floyd lost his life to Derek Chauvin. People were tired. Blacks were tired and for the first time, some of us have seen support from all over the entire world against police brutality against Blacks. Not only that but many of us seen White clergy and other Whites, who had never admitted that racism existed admit that racism is real.

I watched White commentators on several national television news shows admit to systemic racism in this country. There was something different about this time when we took the hit of losing yet another of our own. Other people began to take the loss with us, and that provided some type of relief, but this isn’t over. There is much to be done.

The Bible isn’t silent on such an issue of what we have been experiencing in America. God’s word says chaos is to be expected under leadership that does not prioritize justice. It also says that when the wrong leaders are in position the people will mourn. Finally, God’s word talks about how we can easily lose heart becoming discouraged when fathers, metaphorical for leaders, aggravate their children, metaphorical for constituents, provoking them to discouragement and disheartenment. These are all things we are currently seeing in our country. Humility among leaders who genuinely care for people will be the answer to this sensitive situation.

Proverbs 29:4 – By justice, a king gives a country stability, but those who are greedy for bribes tear it down.
Proverbs 29:2 – When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn.
Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. Another version says to lose heart.- Col 3:21

James Baldwin shares a quote that communicates the sentiment of the tired and disheartened:

“The Most dangerous man of any society is the man who has nothing to lose.”

The above quote, speaks to the a result of marginalization and the grief of seeing our people killed again and again and how grief can cause us to experience a myriad of emotions at one time, which can lead to losing rationale and possibly self-destructive behavior. We want to avoid self-destructive behavior that lacks rationale at all costs and re-direct our anger into producing positive change.

The answer to this crisis of police brutality that lacks justice is to have the proper leaders in place who will prioritize justice in our country, which will reduce the chaos and create stability. Some of our great leaders, who are still living are encouraging us in this effort such as President Barack Obama, and T.D. Jakes. They challenge us to become more aware of our local officials that we vote into office to hold them accountable because they affect the policies that determine whether we will get justice as it relates to police brutality or not. Thank God for godly leaders who genuinely care about the people and practice wisdom galvanizing others for change and providing stability. Leaders like Barack and T.D. Jakes are so very important to us right now.

In the video, I also share my thoughts on people’s response to Black Lives Matters. For more practical things you can do in addition to prayer, feel free to peruse the list below:

  • Create a safe space for ourselves and others where we are willing to listen to others and we’re willing to be aware of when we are personally being overwhelmed.
  • Guard our hearts by not focusing too much on the negative images out there. Also, protect our emotional and mental health by avoiding unproductive arguments with those who oppose justice and make this moment about them.
  • Build ourselves up praying, listening to edifying information, and abiding in a healthy community with those who seek justice as justice is a part of the heartbeat of God.
  • By all means, do not tell others racism doesn’t exist. Read a book if you are familiar with systemic racism. Some book suggestions are Michelle Alexander’s, “The New Jim Crow” and “The Color of Law” by Richard Rothstein.
  • Give financial donations to organizations on the frontline
  • March to help create urgency of these issues
  • Subscribe to newsletters of organizations who are on the frontline fighting for justice for opportunities to get involved.

Organizations that we can get involved with:

  • Woke Vote
  • NAACP Legal Defense Fund
  • My Brother’s Keeper
  • Color of Change
  • Black Futures Lab
  • Campaign Zero
  • Center for Policing Equity
  • National Black Justice Coalition
  • Movement for Black Lives
  • New York City Anti-Violence Project

Finally, remember we do not have to turn our hearts against Christ to remain committed to justice. It is not God’s will for Blacks or any people to endure injustice. God is with us and for us and he is for Justice.

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Why I Agree that Some Single Women Do Not Care to Take Accountability

Recently, I was made aware of a show called “The Talk Back” series by Poet Ezekiel Azonwu. He has a YouTube channel called “The Azonwus” where his series can be watched. It’s an experiment where there are three urban men and three urban women who are seated with their backs turned toward one another. They ask each other questions and respond freely without seeing the facial reactions of the others.

During part 1, the ladies ask each of the men why they are single and the first brother shared that many single Christian women do not take personal accountability. Further, he shared that many single Christian women do not know what accountability is. He went on to make the point sharing that many women have dealt with such low-quality men; that they have not honestly had to look at themselves taking responsibility for where they fall short because they’re so distracted by the low-quality men.

I believe there is some truth to the above statement and it’s a scary thing for women in that position because those women aren’t yet humbly self-aware. Because they aren’t humbly self-aware of their faults or need for personal growth for focusing on the dirt of low-quality potentials; they fail to take action to make healthy changes. They do not see the need to make a change because to them they are okay. This is a common coping mechanism of the insecure. They find someone worse off or weaker than them to make themselves feel they are okay. It’s a legit issue.

I’ve experienced this myself with women who have attempted to date my brothers. We’d normally become friendly until they see an imperfect part of one of my brothers and that’s when they’ve wanted to have a trash my brother session with me, which is not appropriate. However, the immaturity in them not taking personal responsibility doesn’t communicate to them that the whole thought of putting down a relative to another relative is disrespectful. I think the pride and immaturity of not taking self-accountability blinds some women from what is normal and appropriate.

There has been an assumption with some women because I encourage and minister to women that I would agree with certain behaviors such as not taking responsibility or hating on men. That’s simply untrue. I’ve learned to be a balanced woman of balanced discernment, who has embraced the fact that I am human with weaknesses of my own. Thus, I humbly take account of my weaknesses even if it’s uncomfortable, and I pray for those who are too immature to do so. However, when confronted consistently with women, who are this way, who expect me to be on their side; I sometimes have to say something, and it’s often not well received.

I shared in my first book, “The Single Christian Woman’s Guide’ how God spoke to me in prayer when I was disappointed with the fact that I had not seen many godly men my age. God told me to focus on him and not on the men, who had been inappropriate. When we are abiding in God in honesty and humility; we are more aware of the work that God is doing in us. God will expose things within us to take account of and give over to him. There is a promise from God where He promises to prune those who abide in him and who have bought forth good fruit in the past. God prunes us so that we bring forth more good fruit.

Taking personal responsibility for our actions, thoughts, and perspectives is part of that pruning process. It will be uncomfortable. God will have to cut somethings away―wrong thinking, pride, arrogance, and idols resulting in a humble woman, who depends on God. Submitting to God’s process and continuing to take responsibility for what God shows us will always result in deliverance and healing for us.

Therefore, confess (take ownership of) your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. – James 5:16

Are you a woman who does not take accountability? How do you feel about the statement that many single Christian women do not take responsibility? How do you think failing to take responsibility will affect a relationship or a marriage? Do you think this can prevent a woman from getting into a relationship? Please, share in the comments below:

Watch the video from, “The Talk Back” below:

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Vulnerability as a Doorway to Relationships and Living Fully:

Vulnerability is exposing ourselves to the possibility of being hurt. Vulnerability, according to Chip Dodd, is the doorway to living fully in relationships. He used as an example a child who naturally expresses each of their emotions acknowledging when they feel happy, sad, scared, and other emotions.   Chip also bought out the point that we can only live fully in relation to others.

When we cling to barriers like pride; it acts against our ability to be vulnerable and to live fully by hiding our hunger for relationships. It makes us wear a face that keeps others away instead of inviting them in. While this may be useful in keeping the wrong people away; it’s also keeping the right relationships from coming into our lives.

The way out of this trap is to begin to tell the truth about how we really feel. Chip shared a revelation of the word confession as it relates to the below scripture in the Bible:

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. – James 5:16

Confess, in the above scripture, means to fest up to being human as shared by Chip. To be human means acknowledging we aren’t God. We’re in need. We long and we feel, desire, and hope for things. Simply put, confession is when we begin telling the truth about being human and quit trying to pretend we’re otherwise.

I bought up the example of how many single women use ambition to cover up their desire to become vulnerable. We focus on being successful outwardly; while needing healing and vulnerability inwardly. This type of lack of vulnerability leads to Isolation which becomes like a dangerous prison.
However, we all as human beings go through spaces like this at various times in our lives, and God’s word promises to take away the cold hardened heart that caused us to lack genuine vulnerability and to give us a more pliable heart made of flesh.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. – Ezekiel 36:26

God makes this promise to us in the below scripture and He gives us his grace to get out there again as people who are willing to be vulnerable and take the risk of knowing others. God’s word warns us that people perish and plans fall for the want of the proper wisdom and knowledge.

In Chip Dodd’s book, “The Voice of the Heart.” You’ll find the wisdom and knowledge to live life fully by understanding and embracing the emotions of our hearts in a God-honoring way.
Watch the full video below for more wisdom from Author, Christian Psychologist and Counselor Chip Dodd. Also, get Chip Dodd’s book, “The Voice of the Heart” by clicking here: Click here

Full interview of Author, Christian Psychologist, and Counselor Chip Dodd on his book Voice of the Heart and Vulnerability:

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The Power of Choice

When you choose something you genuinely want; you appreciate it more and are more willing to pay the price for it. I thought about this when I recently went into an office supplies store looking for a printer. The printers had been flying off of the shelves due to Covid-19―possibly because many people are working from home and setting up their home offices.

They did not have any printers left within the price-range I had previously decided to spend. The salesman walked around the store and looked into what inventory he had left. Finally, he came back sharing with me he’d found one more printer near my price-range that had been discontinued maybe 9 months back.

I followed him in anticipation. As I approached the printer, I noticed it looked flimsy and was nowhere near a previous design I’d decided I wanted. I would have been paying about $25 over budget for something of lesser quality. The thought passed through my mind that I would not have to look any longer for what I’d wanted if I chose this flimsy machine that looked as if it would not last very long.

I also wondered why it had been discontinued. Did the company find an error with it, I thought? Were there too many complaints or requests for refunds regarding the printer? I utilized my power of choice to make a confident decision. I decided to pass on the printer because it wasn’t what I wanted. It could not meet my needs for scanning should I have to submit work-related documents that required a signature.

I would have been settling for what was available instead of what I had intended on receiving and spending with my preciously earned money. Because I had a clear vision of a printer that I wanted before I went into the store, I did not have to waste much time trying to convince myself to want something so drastically outside of my vision.

It’s similar when it comes to choosing a spouse. Single ladies and gentlemen, you have options. Just because you may be shopping in a place where it doesn’t seem like you have many options at the moment; doesn’t mean that you should simply choose what’s available—especially when what’s available can’t meet the need nor the vision God’s assigned to your life.

Use that time to build your confidence in trusting the Lord and his good plans for you. Growing in trust towards the Lord will build the confidence you need to turn away from what isn’t for you. You’ll realize your power of choice over settling, and you’ll have the confidence you need to say no when what’s presented isn’t for you. It’s okay to exercise your power of choice to choose wisely.
I ended up looking again online for the specific printer I’d already decided I wanted. I found it at an online store that I’ve bought video and photography equipment in the past. It was on sale for the same price as the cheaper flimsier printer. This time, I was willing to pay the price because it aligned with my vision.

Single ladies and gents, we are waiting for something that not only aligns with our vision, but with God’s vision for us. It’s within that vision, that we’ll be willing to pay the price because it will be worth it. It will be what we’ve chosen all along when we disciplined ourselves to be built into those who’d be mature enough to handle the vision. So, please don’t cast your pearls before swine accepting something only because it’s available, but nowhere near the capacity to sustain the call of God on your life. Be patient and wait to choose what you are sure God has for you through your faith.

Utilize the book, “Patterns of the Heart: Discernment in Choosing a Potential Spouse” to ask thought-provoking questions when dating a potential spouse. Learn more here: Click here

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. – Proverbs 29:18
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. – Matthew 7:6

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The Body of Christ Standing Together Against Racism:

In 2014, the country was upset over a young man who laid in the streets for hours like road-kill while many African Americans suffered in grief at another young man’s life disregarded and shamed as to have little value. The country re-lived this pain again and again with others like Alton Sterling and Philando Castile and many more.

Restless with yet hope in God, many went to their church houses looking to hear a word from the Lord and were shocked to find out that those who were once counted as brethren were suddenly divided. Many could not gain any support to walk through this grief from their church homes because the church homes were either in silence or agreement with the negative narratives that were being promoted on the news to devalue the lives of our Black men and women.

Thus, many had to put back on their transient shoes and look for another church to call home. Since then, there have been many discussions and corrections publicly to the Body of Christ to promote the message of unity in the face of racism. Examples of this include Kirk Franklin, who protested TBN last year, and Lecrae who challenged evangelicals on views of racism.

Thankfully, I can say that this time around there is more support from some of our White evangelical leaders. I’m thankful for my new pastor who came out and made a statement and others. Below are statements from Pastors Sam and Taylor Hamstra, Christine Caine, John Bevere, Jentzen Franklin, who pastors in Georgia, and Zauntee, to name a few:

The below messages are from my pastors Sam & Taylor Hamstra of Anthem Church in Hammond, IN.

How awesome it is for injustice to be seen as injustice and life to be seen as valuable no matter the color. This is what so many of us have looked for and longed for in our Christian circles. This is the type of behavior that brings healing and eases the pain. While racism in the body of Christ has not been totally eradicated, it’s hopeful to see that some are willing to stand in unity—mourning with those who mourn no matter the color.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. – Romans 12:15

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! – Psalms 133:1

This is the real gospel. That is what Jesus Christ died for. The gospel is not always comfortable. Sometimes it means addressing some hard truths. As long as we address these things together in love; that’s what makes the difference. I continue to pray for Mr. Arbery’s family as they’ve lost a precious life and they feel the most pain.

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The Urge to Decline the Call:

A little over three years ago, I was going through my morning routine so that I could head to the office. I had my music going and was standing in the mirror getting my hair together. There was a pause in my music, so I looked at my phone and noticed that someone was calling. I keep my ringer on silent 98% of the time. When I looked to see who was calling, it showed ‘NO CALLER ID’ on the screen. I smacked my lips and got back to my routine. I said to myself, “I’m not answering that call.”

In my experience, when ‘NO CALLER ID’ shows up on the screen, it is either someone playing on the phone, a telemarketer, some weirdo, or some scammer. My music came back on for about 10 seconds before being interrupted again. The same thing showed on the screen: NO CALLER ID.

Now, I’m getting irritated and blurted out, “WHO KEEPS CALLING ME?” I grabbed my phone and irritatingly hit the ACCEPT button.

“Yes.”The person on the other end of the phone was a woman. She replied, “Is this (insert nonprofit)?””Yes, it is. Who’s calling?”

I was at the end of my fundraising season and preparing for an event. Therefore, I was not surprised that someone mentioned my organization.

The woman on the phone said, “I saw your flyer on Instagram and I wanted to get more information.”
She identified herself as “Alexa” and said that she was the assistant of a very famous (and rich) person.

In my head, I said, “YEAH, RIGHT!” However, the words that came out of my mouth were, “OK. Yes, what would you like to know?”

Alexa went on to ask my name and other questions that were relevant to my upcoming community event. I interrupted her a time or two and asked her what her name was again. I was skeptical, but my curiosity didn’t let me hang up. I believe I let her continue only because she wasn’t asking me for money or personal information. We finished the call and Alexa told me that I should expect another call soon.

I was not sold on the fact that the woman who called me was really this famously rich person’s assistant. I mean…why in the world would she call ME?! Ten minutes later as I was getting ready to leave, my phone rang again. The same ‘NO CALLER ID’ flashed on the screen. I answered quickly this time. The voice on the other end was different this time.

“Hiiiiiiiiii! Is this Eureka” the woman asked? Her voice was high-spirited. You could tell that she was smiling.

“Yes, it is. Who’s calling?”
“Hi, Eureka! My assistant told me that you didn’t sound very convinced of who she was. This is Khloe Kardashian and I want you to know that what you’re doing for your community is super-duper awesome!”
“Khloe Kardashian? Really? Are you serious? Is someone playing with me this morning?”

I kept calm- walking and talking and still skeptical. I listened to the voice closely. She asked me questions about how long I’d been doing the event and my inspiration for starting it. She explained to me that she somehow saw my flyer on Instagram and that she wanted to donate. She told me to expect an email from her assistant within the week to discuss further and where to send the donation.
I GOT THE EMAIL WITHIN A WEEK. ALEXA & I SPOKE SEVERAL TIMES AND I RECEIVED THE DONATION TWO WEEKS LATER. IT REALLY WAS HER!!

I told people on my social media. I don’t think they believed me until Khloe Kardashian commented on one of my posts.

But… what if I had allowed fear and familiarity to keep me from accepting the call? What if my urge to decline had won?
Some of us become fearful when it comes to answering what God has called us to do. Something inside of us tells us to ACCEPT it and ANSWER the CALL, while we struggle with the fear. We get fearful of what may be on the other side of the call. We get fearful of what will can or cannot happen if we answer the call. We get irritated because of what happened the last time we answered a call.
Those things are simply a distraction and ways to keep us stuck. The enemy knows that you become your most powerful and FREE when you answer the call that God has on your life. He knows that favor and blessings are attached to the will of God.

There are blessings and favor on the other side of that fear and anxiety. There are blessings and favor on the other side of unfamiliarity. YOU are a blessing on the other side of fear, anxiety, and what may be said by others. Trust that the call that you accept is ordained by God.

What is not being done because you haven’t stepped up?

Who is not being delivered or set free because you’re afraid of what others may think? What vision cannot be accomplished because you are not in your place?

Don’t decline the call. ACCEPT IT! Get rid of the urge to decline the call on your life.

In my book, A Fancy Tale of Yesterdays, I share how our past experiences can produce fear in us and detour us from the call that God has placed on our life if we allow it.

To purchase, visit bit.ly/EurekaLIce or email EurekaMomentNow@gmail.com for a signed copy.
#Purpose #Calling #God #Grace #Mercy #AnswertheCall

If you’re looking to be challenged, you’ve found the right one! Eureka Ice, whose name literally means “I’ve found it!” is a multi-faceted, forward-thinking, straight shooting creative who lives by the belief that the shortest distance between any two things is a straight line.
 
Having overcome the challenges of teen motherhood, environmental, socioeconomic and generational barriers, she has learned that if she was to be who God called her to be, she would have to blaze her own trail to godly success. Eureka believes that we’re not all just products of our environment, but our choices. She has always been told that her personality was way bigger than her small, 5’2 frame. 
 
As a speaker, writer, educator, multi-genre author, mentor, and coach she is never afraid to push past the norm while throwing in a mix of humor and fun with godly wisdom.
She has a gift and passion for identifying gifts and talents in others and helping them to be their best selves. She holds quarterly and annual events geared toward personal development.
 
Eureka was born and raised in Arkansas. She holds a master’s in college student personnel and counseling and a bachelor’s in psychology. She is a mother of two sons (one adult) and enjoys working out, singing, cooking, art & design, sports, and a good laugh.

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Two Ways for Those Struggling w/Sexual Sin to Become Free:

Are you a single person or even a married person struggling with sexual sins such as pornography, masturbation, air humping, or fantasy lust? You aren’t the first one and you will not be the last one who’s struggled with those things. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
We’re all in the same boat; some way or somehow when it comes to missing the mark, but we have hope through Jesus Christ. Just because you’re a Christian doesn’t mean that you will not struggle with sexual sin. The good news is that we overcome sexual sin through Jesus Christ. I’ve struggled with each one of those things, and I’ve overcome. Below are some of the things that have helped me and I believe they’ll be sure to help you as well.

Pursue God more than you Pursue Freedom from Sexual Sin
Having a heart that truly wants to honor God causes us to do all that we can to overcome sexual sin. We set up crazy boundaries like getting rid of our computers and electronic devices, not watching television at all, and not talking to the opposite sex on the phone after 9 p.m. That’s good and cool, and eventually may be helpful, but it isn’t enough.

We can obsess over trying to do the right thing so much that it could cause us to stumble and do the wrong things because we’re putting too much emphasis on our strength. The reality is our strength isn’t enough to keep us from sexual sin. Neither is our strength enough to keep us in right standing with God.

However, feeding a greater desire for intimacy with God will help to calm our sexual hormones because we’ll be able to be more aware of God’s grace that is available to us. That grace will produce humility, gratitude, and a greater appreciation for what we are afforded in Christ, and that will make us want to obey God. I remember when God shared with me saying, “I did not need that crutch”, which was a form of sexual sin. It was like he’d just taken it away. Sometimes, God allows us to struggle longer with a thing because we’re turning to idols for deliverance whether it’s our gimmicks, ministers, or what have you.

Not that there is anything wrong with doing what we can do and utilizing ministers, but remember God is a jealous God and wants us to know Him for ourselves. Others are limited in what they can provide, but God can provide all that we need and he wants to show that off in a relationship with Him. In response to God’s goodness; we receive his grace to obey. See scripture below:

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will. – Romans 12:1-2

I also personally believe that the more time that we spend with the Lord; the more convicted we are regarding our sin and the lesser power our sin has over us. See Psalms 15 that discusses what those who hang out with the Lord do. It isn’t because they’re perfect, but they’re in pursuit of the one who is perfect. Side note: Pursuing God is more than attending church. It’s a personal norm that is practiced at home and throughout the day. It’s acknowledging him in all our ways.

Seek his will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. – Proverbs 3:6 (NLT)

Prayer is a large part of this. Sometimes, our life of seeking God has become so weak that we become more vulnerable to temptation. The Word of God shares that we ought to pray that we do not enter into temptation. Humans have a proneness to sin and we have to intentionally strengthen our heart for the Lord through prayer and following his voice.


“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” – Matthew 26:41
God does not condemn you. God’s whole covenant toward man is structured in a way as not to condemn. This is one of the first representations of God’s covenant toward mankind.

For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. There is no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus. – John 3:17
The Holy Spirit will lead you out of the darkness of sexual sin. You have to allow him to lead you. That means you have to push past the feeling of condemnation to continue to believe God through the experience of your sexual sin. Condemnation will make you run away from God, but running to God is the only way you will experience freedom. Don’t believe the lie that you are condemned because of your weakness, but rather believe the truth that God has grace specially reserved for your weakness. That grace is not only giving you mercy for your wrong, but it also empowers you to do what is right.

It will release the chain of bondage that may have been opened up in your life because of a vice. You may have had a legitimate need or concern that you looked to lust to provide the resolve for; instead of trusting and believing in God and his wisdom to provide for you.

A vice is an illegitimate way to meet a legitimate need.

The above quote was mentioned in my first book, “The Single Christian Woman’s Guide.” This book is useful to men as well. Continue to do what is in your power, but realize your deliverance will not come from you; it will come from God. Learning to depend on the Lord through the guidance of his Holy Spirit will be the major determining factor to your sure freedom from sexual bondage.
The Word of God is a cleansing agent that washing us from the dirt that we sometimes get into. Below are some scriptures to meditate on as the Lord ministers to you to free you from your weak flesh:

So, I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. – Galatians 5:16

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.  For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so, he condemned sin in the flesh, so that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. – Romans 8:1-4

So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty. – Zechariah 4:6

This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the LORD. – Jeremiah 17:5

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. – Jeremiah 17:7

The above scripture means that as long as we look to ourselves, flesh, or our means to be free; we’ll be in a self-defeating cycle, but when we become mature enough to look to the Lord; we will overcome.

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Helpful Financial Tips for COVID-19 Crisis

Morning, maybe you’re laid off or know someone who is laid off due to COVID-19, or maybe you’re at home with pay but have a lot of extra time on your hands. Below, I’ve gathered a few tips to help financially and with peace of mind regarding the COVID-19 pandemic.

Take advantage of Work from Home Jobs:
Many companies hire people to work from the comfort of their own homes. Some of these companies have not been affected by COVID-19 such as customer service, content creation, and other jobs that can be done from home. If you have the skills and the time, consider taking advantage of a work from home job. If you’re off with pay; you’ll have extra income to devote toward that side hustle that you’ve been trying to get off of the ground.

If you have no income, you’ll be able to have money to continue coming in to take care of your essentials. You can work from home until you find the job you want or maybe working from home will become the job you want. Take a look at the link below to utilize reputable work from home job opportunities: Click here

Concerned about Keeping Your Mortgage Up? Request a Forbearance:
If you’re off without pay, you may be concerned about your mortgage payment or even your rent payment. You can have some peace knowing that FHA, FannieMae, and Freddiemac have instructed their mortgage services to delay receiving payment during the COVID-19 crisis for homeowners affected by the crisis. This means that if you’re a homeowner, who cannot pay your mortgage, you can simply call your mortgage servicer, and request a forbearance. A forbearance is a delayed payment or drastically reduced payment because of a reputable hardship. Its purpose is to give the homeowner more time to figure out their financial situation without having to worry about foreclosure or eviction.

Buildings with loans backed by FHA, FannieMae, and FreddieMac are also encouraging landlords not to evict renters who cannot pay at this time. They will give the landlord a forbearance if he is unable to collect the rent to pay the mortgage on the building insured by one of the three housing insurers. Talk with your landlord to see if this is an option for you. Let them know you are having trouble and see what agreements you all can come to. Also, see if your state has any rental assistance programs.

The norm for a forbearance due to COVID is 6 months. After 6 months the homeowner can be re-evaluated for an additional 6-month forbearance lasting up to 12 months. After the agreed-upon term; you will have to begin making payments again so use the forbearance time to look for employment to be gainfully employed by the end of the forbearance so you can work with your lender to become current again.

Note: Any delay of acceptance of payment is only temporary and meant to give you time to begin paying again rather it’s for rent or mortgage. Use this time wisely to earn and stack up income.

Consider a High-yield Savings Account
COVID-19 is a reminder that as the adage goes, stuff happens. One of the most important reasons to establish a saving plan is because we often have no idea when emergencies will happen. Cars break down, tires wear out, Water-heaters burst or furnaces stop working. Instances of emergency show us how faithful we’ve been with our money during times of harvest.

Have we put away for emergencies like we know we should do, or have we spent it just because we had it? I am a strong proponent of living underneath my means to save for the future and to accomplish things important to me. It could be something as simple as traveling twice a year. If that is a goal of mine, then saving intentionally will be a way to do it.

I encourage you to open up a high-yield online saving’s account to not only save but to earn interest on your savings. Since I switched to an online saving’s, I’ve been paid at least a few dollars per month for having savings in my account. Those few dollars add up. Pretty soon, it will be enough to pay for dinner on my vacation. I encourage you if you can put your stimulus funds into a savings account, and to commit to saving as close to 10% of your income as possible in a high-yield saving account. I recommend opening a saving that does not require a minimum balance and has no monthly payment. You can start by depositing your stimulus check into savings if your needs are already taken care of. Here is a list of high-yield saving’s accounts online: https://www.bankrate.com/banking/savings/rates/

Consider an Emergency Budget:
An emergency budget covers your bare essentials only such as food, shelter, and utilities. For a temporary season, you may have to cut the cable, gym, clothing, entertainment, and other subscriptions to re-purpose those funds toward the bare essentials.

If you had a high-paying job and now you’re underemployed or receiving less on unemployment, if you cut the additional expenses, at least you will have a roof over your head. Even if you’re on a forbearance plan with your mortgage because unemployment isn’t enough to cover your full mortgage payment, set aside a portion that you would have paid toward the mortgage in a separate savings account. For example, if your mortgage is normally $1,000 monthly, but with unemployment, you only have $500 a month left over after buying your bare essentials, deposit that $500/month into savings account as if your mortgage payment is $500.

This will help to keep you in a mindset of paying your mortgage/rent and it will give you leverage to negotiate with when your forbearance is over. You may be able to do a repayment plan, get a partial claim, which is like a loan to cover your arrears from your mortgage that you’d pay off after you pay your primary loan. Thus, the $500 you’ve saved monthly can be utilized for emergencies in the future and may not need to go toward the mortgage at all. For more in-depth knowledge regarding mortgages contact your local HUD-approved housing counseling agency at the link: Click here

For information about rental contact your local legal aid office.

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How Seeing Domestic Violence as a Child Affected Me as an Adult:

I grew up in what I thought was a pretty loving home until I saw my father, who’s a preacher, hit my mother at the age of seven years old for the first time. It was a consistent image that would be ever-present in front of me until I was 17 years old. At that age, my mom got the courage to get a divorce. Having endured the turmoil accompanied by my parents’ tumultuous relationship, as a child, I often held an unfortunate ringside seat to the dysfunction that swarms the homes of children living amid parents whose relationships are thwarted with domestic violence.

However, between the ages of 7-17 years old, my mom left my father a total of eight times
before walking away completely. She would flee for safety. During those times, additional caregivers stepped in and they would count me out. They didn’t know how to connect with a child who had been the witness of domestic violence, and who had been removed from her home, her safety net, and other siblings. As a result, I was withdrawn.

My mom was treated with empathy; while I felt ignored. It was these experiences that laid seed in my soul to act out as a cry for help. This dysfunction not only crept into my teenage years but as an adult. I developed coping mechanisms that would cause me to self-medicate in a variety of ways including drinking, smoking, addiction to sex, walking away from the church, and various toxic relationships. All of these behaviors resulted in additional trauma.

Despite the struggles, I found myself in my early 20s as a developing success story on the outside, while in my personal and professional life, I was met with roadblock after roadblock. The roadblocks revealed to me that while I had titles, accolades, and credentials there was a great part of me that needed much work. Further, the scars that I had as a child begin to show up in the most unexpected places. As I begin to forge full throttle into dealing with the roadblocks, it became evident that I needed to make some decisions and with those decisions change.

I was able to quickly identify myself in the statistics regarding kids that grow up in domestic violence homes. According to Dr. Sandra A. Graham-Bermann, professor of Psychology and Psychiatry of University of Michigan:
 “The impact of Childhood Domestic Violence can be lifelong in terms of physical and mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression, and traumatic stress, difficulty in relationships with others, academic and employment failures, and trouble parenting.”If I hadn’t taken a stand to face myself and my demons, then the above as it pertains to traumatic stress, difficulty in relationships with others to name a few would’ve been my end story. God still loved me and had a place for me. God knew His purpose and calling was greater for me. What looked like a place of death, turned into an opportunity to face that broken little girl resulting in ending the negative cycle.

I am now using the pains of my past to bring advocacy and awareness, facilitate healing and wholeness, and to hopefully prevent others from going through what I’d been through. I refused to let this generational curse continue. It was my goal to make it stop with me. After acknowledging the trauma and its effects, I took the needed steps to realign my life to maintain wholeness through extensive counseling and understanding the correct theology of the Word.

After what seemed like much tousling, many lessons, and bruised beyond human error, I decided to get better by doing the work to heal. In that healing, I realized that everything that has transpired in my life; good and bad, have been intentional for the Kingdom of Heaven. My talents, passions, career moves, and innate abilities were being orchestrated for my life purpose. I am now a woman of great faith, happily married wife, and bonus mom to two adult daughters.

My book shares the effects of growing up in a home with domestic violence, along with overcoming the barriers of not repeating the cycle. It gives hope to children and adults that have experienced trauma in these environments that you can rewrite your story. You’ll see my passion in advocacy towards providing resources to help and heal children and adults exposed to domestic violence. Purchase book at: tiffanymensah.com or  “Forgotten: Living in the Shadows of Domestic Violence”

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Don’t Settle for Negative Thinking:

At age 13, a young girl was finishing up the 8th grade. Earlier in the year, she learned of a camp that seemed like a lot of fun. The camp was for at-risk, low-income students whose parents had never attended college. The camp meant that she would have to spend her summer on a college campus about 30 miles away with other students with similar backgrounds. She said to herself, “Yep, I fit that mold. We’re poor, no one had gone near a college in my family and how many risks do you want me to name for this application?” The girl went into the principal’s office after getting recommendations from some teachers and told him her desire. After all, she needed his signature & recommendation to attend the camp. He was very familiar with the camp and listened to her explain why she ‘fit the mold.’ He allowed her to plead her case and then he rejected her. That’s right. Her principal told her that he would not recommend her for the camp.

Of course, her heart was broken. She was confident that she would get his blessing. She received a blessing, however, it looked nothing as she had hoped.

She wanted to make the excuse that “The man was just trying to keep a sista down”, but her principal was Black. Thus, she thought to say that he was just mean and unfair but knew that to be untrue. She searched for reason after reason as to why he would deny her the desire and then he gave her his. He said, “Eureka, you’re setting the standard too low.”

Err? Say what? What do you mean, Mr. principal man? What standard & what does too low mean if I fit the requirements? That was my reaction. Although I was a minority (black & female), a product of a low-income family, considered myself at-risk due to my chaotic environment, and no one in my immediate family had ever gone to college (or finished high school) I was a straight-A student. I’d been in the gifted and talented program since first grade and was a current co-captain of my basketball and track teams. My principal sat in front of me behind his desk and recited all of these things to me. I was still focusing on the fact that he said no. Then, he took things in another direction. He began to explain to me that he had a different summer program that he wanted me to attend. He told me that there was only one student from my school district who could attend and he wanted me to be that student.

I thought to myself, “There’s no way that this could be fun. I won’t know anyone, they won’t look like me, people will be weird, & blah-blah-blah!” Regardless of all of the negatives, I thought of, I accepted. I chose to spend two months of my summer at a university that was about four hours away from home. It would be the farthest and longest that I had ever been away from home at that time. It would also be the first time I had ever been on a college campus. The camp was attended by my state’s best and brightest students. We lived in the dorms on a college schedule, had job duties, and went to class on the schedule.

I, now, had a new standard. I now fit a different mold. Just as David sent someone to “carry” or move Mephibosheth (2 Samuel 4:4; 9) out of Lode bar, God sent my principal to guide me out of my generational “Lodebar Experience.” My thinking had become “lame” and crippled my ability to see farther. I became the first person in my immediate family to graduate high school and go on to become the first person in many generations to attend and graduate college. I was the curse breaker. What if I had refused? I know you’re probably asking: What’s the point of this story? I’ll tell you. 

Many of us allow only the familiar world around us―our environment, past, socioeconomic status, and/or familial history to set the standard for us. Some of us are ignorant of the fact that this world is such a huge place and our current reality does not have to be our forever reality! We set our bars and standards as low as the minimum requires and never raise them past our comfort zone. If it’s familiar, it seems right. It’s that train of thought that limits our success, life, future, and God. 

God does not want us to set limits based on familiarity or what we may see around us. His plans are way bigger than that. 

Jeremiah 29:11 says: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
God used my junior high principal to show me that my bar had been set too low and that my standards were not high enough. I was setting my standard on my minimum (the negatives) instead of my maximum (the positives). I was setting my bar as low as I could see (past exposure + current environment), instead of as high as I could imagine (hopes, dreams, vision). And God sets our reach, standard, and bar even higher! He strategically places people in our lives to expose us to our higher calling. He empowers us to prosper. He puts people in our paths to point us in the direction that He wants us to go. 
Here is the challenge: It’s up to us to accept or deny. It’s up to us if we’re going to follow His lead.

 Have you set your bar or standards too low? Have you allowed what you see, what you’re used to, what your family accomplished, or what some hater told you were not to be your standard? The Word of God gives us a standard. Which one will you choose? 

In my book, A Fancy Tale of Yesterdays, I share a woman’s journey through negative thinking, negative experiences, and generational strongholds. These things are critical in how we see ourselves, other people, God and His purpose for our lives. To purchase, visit bit.ly/EurekaLIce or email EurekaMomentNow@gmail.com for a signed copy.

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