My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. – James 1:2-4

The above scripture reminds us to count our blessings when going through not one, or two temptations, but many temptations, tests, and tribulations. Have you ever been in a season of many temptations?

If you have then you know it’s easy to have a wrong mindset. It’s way too easy to compare ourselves to others with a woe is me attitude instead of an attitude of gratefulness or thankfulness. Well, I am glad that the Word of God gives us one of the greatest tips that cause us to maintain the right perspective. That tip is to count our blessings. It’s to maintain a spirit and a mouth full of thankfulness.

Focusing on the goodness of God in our lives, and thanking God for what he has already done helps us to focus on God and to take our eyes off of our problems, tribulations, and temptations. Below, I list a few things that I am so thoroughly thankful for:

I’m thankful that I have more support to walk with me in seeking to honor God in my singleness!

This girl has been single for a long time. All during that time, I’ve had to be intentional about allowing into my inner circle those who were pursuing the Lord and the things of the Lord.

There have been seasons where it’s been harder than others to have someone encourage me to stay the course God has called me to. Now, I seem to have more people in my life encouraging me in that and it’s awesome. It has taken some of the stress away from feeling awkward and alone. I got a whole awkward crew to ride with because living for Jesus is awkward to some. We are a peculiar people.

I’m thankful that my mindset is not the same as it used to be!

I will admit that I’ve been that girl who has struggled with wrong thinking at times. More specifically because I had gone long periods of time without having a boyfriend or anyone I felt was worth going out with; I used to struggle hardcore with believing that I was worth being sought after, courted, and pursued. God allowed me to see that I am worth it, not just by faith, but by action. However, even then the one I thought was worthy of me and allowed to pursue me just wasn’t ready. It confirmed what I knew to be true, and that is I had been single all of this time because God was protecting me. He was not holding something back from me because I did not deserve it or because I am not good enough for it. I am thankful to have the right mindset.

I’m thankful I am not in the same place!

I am thankful that I am not in the same place as far as my thinking. Now that I have gotten several of my wrong perspectives corrected, I walk from a new and more solidified position of boldness in Christ Jesus. I am thankful that God used the trials of this life to correct my thinking and to make me stronger. There are so many women who stay in cycles of wrong thinking and because of that operate from a low-level of self-image. The low level of self-image causes these women to make the same poor choices over and over again, but the Lord has preserved me, and I am truly thankful.

I am thankful for rest!

Sometimes, we fell to realize that while God is doing great work in us through the trials and tribulations of life that there is a season of rest that takes place afterward. Just like in the natural when we go for a surgery or procedure. There is a season of rest for healing to fully take place. This is a place that God desires for us to reside in, and it is a place that I can say that I enjoy.

It doesn’t mean that life circumstances will not come up against me. It just means those circumstances cannot have my peace, nor my Biblical and sound perspective. I am thankful that I abide in a place of rest, and thus I can make healthy decisions from a place of rest.

I am thankful to still have a healthy expectation in the Lord after all I have been through!

Many give up on the Lord after not seeing things take place that they have wanted or expected within a certain time-frame. However, I’ve been blessed to desire the Lord above what he can give me. As a matter of fact, the things that I desire from him are a by-product of my intimate relationship with him. It was not my idea to desire to be married, but his:

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalms 37:4

I was just a regular girl with regular desires. I wanted a boyfriend when I was younger just for fun like others. I had no desire to live a consecrated life to the Lord for his glory. Neither would I have signed up for this on my own knowing the attacks that I would face, but God placed the desire within me as a result of seeking the Lord and delighting in him.

God chose to save me, and he sowed seeds of the Word of God into my heart. These seeds caused me to desire to seek him. As I sought him he began to place a desire in me more and more for his will. Because the Lord started this good work in me; I trust him to finish it (Philippians 1:6). Therefore I rest my expectation in the Lord. I am thoroughly impressed with what the Lord has done thus far and have an expectation for what he will continue to accomplish. I’m counting my blessings!

What are some of the things that God has done in your life? What are some blessings that you can begin to thank God for that will re-position your focus on the Goodness of The Lord rather than life circumstances? Please, feel free to share.

This is an admonition to myself as much as anyone else. It is in our nature to stray away from seeking God when things are going well. There is a clear example seen in the life of King Asa. Asa was a king of Judah. He was one that God said did right in the eyes of the Lord.
 
He had been zealous for the Lord tearing down Asherah poles (poles representing a false god), and other places of idol worship during his time. He was so zealous that he even demoted his grandmother because she still worshipped Asherah, and he decreed it the law of the land that all residents of Judah were to worship the Lord the true and living God.
 
Because of his devout heart toward seeking the Lord, God gave him rest from all of his enemies for 35 years. For 35 years he did not have to fight any wars. However, during the 36th year, the Israelite army begin to prepare to go to war against Asa.
 
Asa, at that point, made an agreement with an army who became his ally. The agreement with the allying army caused the Israelite army to back off. After all of this had taken place, a prophet named Hanani came to Asa with the below message.

“Because you relied on the king of Aram and not on the Lord your God, the army of the king of Aram has escaped from your hand. Were not the Cushites and Libyans a mighty army with great numbers of chariots and horsemen? Yet when you relied on the Lord, he delivered them into your hand. For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war.” –  2 Chronicles 16:7-9 

Asa became so angry at the prophet that he placed him in jail. According to the word of the Lord he had to endure war throughout the remaining of his reign. He also ended up with a foot disease.

What is the point of this all? The point is that we need to remember to seek the Lord. We need to be consistently in the practice of seeking the Lord first. This should be our daily habit. Asa had an extensive time-frame where everything was going well, and somehow that time frame tempted him not to seek the Lord anymore.

Once, he became content not seeking the Lord he started to exhibit traits that were not in line with the Lord such as jailing a prophet for speaking God’s heart. The more we seek the Lord, the more we become like him and exhibit his characteristics rather than our own fleshly characteristics.

The opposite becomes true when we do not seek the Lord. We in turn exhibit ungodly and worldly characteristics.  We need to be careful not to walk in pride and simply ride the tide of good times with the Lord, but we need to remember to maintain a consistency of seeking God. In doing so, we will be well equipped for those bad times that sometimes catch us by surprise. We will also continue to make room in our lives to continually see the glory of the Lord displayed within our lives personally. That is what God wanted to do with King Asa, and that is what God wants to do with us.

An Honest Conversation on the Intimidation of a Woman of Standard

Recently, I watched the season finale of “Growing Up Hip-Hop.” It is a show starring Romeo Miller, Master P’s son, Angela Simmons, Reverend Run’s daughter, and many other music industry young
people.
 
It was interesting to watch the development of Angela, who represented abstinence until marriage for a while until meeting a man that she became engaged to and had her first child with. One could only wonder if all of the pressure that a woman of standard deals with got to Angela influencing her
decision to go ahead and give in.
 
The season finale of Season 3 showed Little Bow Wow, who Angela had some sort of dating
​relationship with in the past. He asked Angela questions alluding to the idea that he believed she was settling with her current fiance’.
 
Could Bow Wow’s thought be true? Could Angela have been influenced by the pressure that often
causes fears and poor choices to come to the surface in a woman of standard? Just in case my readers are dealing with similar issues, I’ve compiled a brief list of things women of standard deal with and
​how to handle them properly while we go through them.
 
Fear of Being Alone:
 
One of the fears that women of God deal with is the fear of being alone. Women of standard often
hear things like what Bow Wow shared with Angela on their reunion lunch. He used an analogy
​telling her that he always used to tell her when they talked in the past that she needed to open her
FedEx box. How many women of standard have heard the same things, and felt that it could possibly be true after being passed up and looked over so many times because of not giving it up.
 
I would encourage those women to change their perspectives and to view the men passing them up as protection from God instead of rejection because of God’s standard in their lives. A woman in those
​shoes allows herself to be preserved for a man who will honor and respect her for her standard instead of put her down for it.

The Challenge of a Woman of Standard is Too Much for Some Men:
Bow Wow went on to share with Angela that no one would want to marry her without sampling her
FedEx box. He went on saying, “that stuff is hard not having sex until marriage.” It isn’t something
that many men can fathom themselves complying with for any length of time to pursue a girl and get the goods later after marriage. It makes some men feel as though they have to be perfect, serious,
devout, and if they are not then it isn’t worth trying. So, the girl again gets passed up.

This is where women of standard have to continue to stand unwavering because her standard is taking her somewhere. Her standard is separating the men from the boys for her, and reserving her only for
the men.

A few things: Women naturally mature quicker than boys. We grow taller earlier and such by nature.
In many cases, this is true when it comes to development in other ways such as socially, and
spiritually in general. This means that there has to be a level of patience within a woman of standard
to be able to forbear in whatever state she is in rather waiting on a mature man of God as she
continues to develop with God or in a marriage. While the woman waits she has to remain secure in
​her worth.

Distracting Ourselves from the Pain:
Being honest, there will be some pain when a woman of God has a standard. Everyone will not agree nor understand our standard, but we still will need to maintain it. One of the ways that we can
continue to do so is to distract ourselves from the pain of loneliness, misunderstanding, and feeling
rejected. If our pain is not properly dealt with it can produce negative emotions that cause us to make poor choices and to end up dealing with things such as condemnation instead of the love and
redemptive power of Christ within us.

Give your burdens, negative thoughts and emotions to the Lord in prayer. Exchange them for what
God says about you. Surround yourself with those who agree with God’s plan for your life, and limit your dealings with those who do not. Be willing to endure whatever hardships the Lord allows
keeping a praise in your heart and on your lips for what God is doing within you. Any suffering
​endured will only produce more character within you

“And not only this but [with joy] let us exult in our sufferings and rejoice in our hardships, knowing
that hardship (distress, pressure, trouble) produces patient endurance;  and endurance, proven
character (spiritual maturity); and proven character, hope and confident assurance [of eternal
salvation].  Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been
abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” 
Romans 5:3-4

Continue to enjoy your life, and whatever you do, do not settle for anything below the standard God
​has set for you in his word. Allow God to constantly change and secure your perspectives as he heals you from the wounds incurred along the way.

DEALING WITH COVETOUSNESS

WHAT IS COVETOUSNESS:

Covetousness is defined as “eagerly desirous of possessions. (dictionary.com)” This is almost an anxiety or unrest concerning what we desire. It is also defined as “inordinately or wrongly desirous of wealth or possessions; greedy.” Meaning, there is a right way and a wrong way to desire things, and the covetous way is the wrong way.

Covetousness almost always leads to a spirit of in-contentment, and unthankfulness for what we have because we are focusing on what others have.

COVETOUSNESS EASILY SEEPS IN AND STEALS OUR CONTENTMENT.

We could be coasting along life just fine and content, and all it takes is a scroll of the social media news-feed to take our attention off of the joy that we have in Christ to what we feel we are missing. However, before the click of the mouse, we did not feel like we were missing anything. Covetousness and in-contentment normally have its roots in what we are focusing on.

This is why the Bible makes important the point of what we allow our eyes to focus on by saying the below:​

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness.” Matthew 6:22

In other words, we will go in the direction of what we choose to focus on. If we focus on healthy things we will be healthy. If we focus on unhealthy things, we will begin to manifest deception, darkness, and confusion. Deception, darkness, and confusion are the things that cause us to stumble.

WHAT CAN WE DO TO STOP IT?
​
We can get a guard for our eyes. Meaning, intentionally choosing not to focus on the things that will cause us to compare ourselves to others, or to desire what others have. This can mean unfollowing or blocking people on social media.

When we shift our focus off of what it isn’t currently our season to have right now; we are better able to enjoy life. For example, as a single woman, it isn’t my season to be sexually active. Therefore, I am specific with setting parameters against certain television shows, movies, or songs that may cause me to become anxious for a season of marital love-making.

We can also become thankful for what we do have. There are going to be some things in our lives that we get to enjoy that other’s that we may be covetous toward will not be able to enjoy. For example, I have the luxury of much peace and quiet because I live alone.

Whereas, a married person with a house full of kids or a spouse has to bargain for personal quiet time. Being thankful for what we have allows us to enjoy our current season. It helps us to avoid the “what about me?” attitude that comes up when we compare our lives to others.

Covetousness always produces distracting questions that work to get our thinking off track. When our thinking is off track; our actions will be off track.

Finally, during our personal prayer time, we can pray specifically for those that we may be tempted to be covetous toward. I often pray for exes and those that I am tempted to be covetous of when they come to mind. I do not pray according to the flesh, but according to the love of God in my heart toward them and God’s word. This helps to alleviate any awkward feeling toward them I may be tempted to have, and it is also a Biblical principal that protects our heart.

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; – Matthew 5:44

This helps especially in the scenarios where someone may have done us wrong and were blessed with something that we wanted instead of seeming to pay a penalty for doing us wrong.

Scenarios like the above can be very easy temptations for us to become covetous and begin to compare ourselves, but God gives us wisdom, so we do not have to get caught up in the snares set before us. Don’t allow the trap of covetousness to derail your life. Be intentional on what you allow yourself to focus on. Be thankful, and pray for all men including those who have offended you.

What seeds are we sowing today that will provide the peace, opportunity, and unity of future generations as it relates to race and ethnicity?

​Many may have noticed the increase of racially charged news on all forms of media including social media. Some of the stories floating on social media aren’t true; however, it’s clear that a real problem exists. If the problem that exists is not dealt with; what will it mean for our future generations in this country of America?

For a good while, it seemed that we stood on a somewhat plane of unity based on the work of the many civil rights activists who came before us. These activists were Black and White working together toward a common goal. That goal was freedom and justice for all people. It seemed that after several laws were passed such as the “Civil Rights Act”, “Fair Housing Act”, and “Brown Vs. Board of Education” there was an attempt to live together in unity and understand one another even though all did not personally agree with integration.

Now, with the settling of social media as a norm, and the election of a president who is not ashamed to hold views that cause him to appear racist, there has been an emboldening of racial division. People feel disenfranchised and powerless toward the police, and the melting-pot of racial divide continues to simmer.

What will that simmering bring about? If we aren’t careful to be intentional of the seeds that we so today as it relates to our thinking about race and ethnic relations, it could easily produce something that we aren’t proud of as a nation and a people. The former thinkers and activists always acted intentionally when racial injustice peered it’s ugly head, and the former activists who have had the most impact have always used their faith as a spearhead to guide them through the uncomfortable fields of social activism.

John Perkins is still with us today. In 1970 he was ambushed by several police officers, tortured, and threatened, but he also chose not to hate them. Instead, he continued his work in the community spear-headed by his faith. He came up with a 3- R program to deal with rebuilding the community and providing racial reconciliation. His 3 – R program is summed up in Relocation, Reconciliation, and Redistribution. More can be found on his program, and the work that he has done at (https://jvmpf.org/our-history/).
The work of social reconciliation and equality is uncomfortable and many choose not to deal with it. Many choose to remain silent altogether, and pretend that it doesn’t exist. That’s like boiling a pot of soup and watching it boil over, and expecting the mess made to clean itself up.

We all have a responsibility in this. Even if it’s as simple as making someone feel welcome of another culture by inviting them into your life and your world. Or it could be as simple as reminding someone of another culture that God loves them. So, I encourage you to find a common ground with someone different than yourself. Talk with them, and understand their stories, and the way that they think. Share your stories, and refuse to be defensive. Keep faith in God’s word practicing forgiveness, love, and wisdom toward all men like the examples in this post. These things can be small steps that lead to bigger ones to appropriately sow seeds that would help to design and create a better future for our children, and those to come.
“This blog post is a part of Design Blogger Competition organized by CGTrader” Contest Link: Design Blogger Competition

When a single woman is considering submitting to a man, she should be well acquainted with submission and who is worthy of submission from her relationship with God and other appropriate men in her life.Single women can practice submission through their submission to God. This will show us what to expect in a man based on how Christ treats us. He willingly sacrificed himself to gain us because he loved us. He consistently forbears with us, corrects us and publicly heralds us as his own bride.

We also acknowledge similar traits in men around us. This teaches us as women who to respond to with our submission or not. Remember as single women, our primary role is not to submit to a man as if we are already married, but to be discerning about whether a brother is fit for our future.

Picking up where we left off on last week; below are some additional values we can look for as single women courting, dating, and waiting, for marriage:

Complimentary Purpose:
This would note that you have an idea of your purpose and are either operating in it to some degree or working toward operating in it. Purposes should not clash. His purpose does not have to be the exact same, but should not stand in the way of you operating fully in who you are, and fully in your purpose. If a woman has to deny being herself; then most likely it isn’t an appropriate relationship that the woman should include in her future.

Demonstrated Vision for His Life:
Where no vision is the people perish. Getting with a brother who has absolutely no vision for his life is like taking a huge risk on an investment known to be unstable. 9 times out of 10 the relationship will not fulfill it’s purpose. It will probably only be based on more trivial things such as attraction and that’s it. Attraction is not enough to keep a relationship together. There has got to be more, and vision for our future isn’t a bad place to start.
​
Clear Understanding of His Role As a Man of God:
A husband’s role is clearly spelled out in the book of Ephesians. A man is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. He is supposed to make his wife better by helping to shape her and prune her like Christ does the church. (See, Eph 5:27, and John 15:2). There are additional things such as providing and such, but these are some of the core things that we should be looking for.

A woman should already be secure in walking out her role as a woman in Christ. This is how she will be recognized. Notice Jesus pruned the vine that was already bringing forth fruit. A real man of God is looking for a woman of God who is already operating in her identity in Christ.

Willingness to Work Together:
He may have some flaws. Like we as women have flaws such as selfishness, and pride. Is he willing to work on his selfishness? Are you willing to work on your overspending. If the two of you are willing to work at your flaws while showing grace toward one another; there is a strong chance that the relationship can go further.

When we meet a man who exhibits these above traits; we know that eventually when we do get married we will be submitting to this man of God. Let us focus as single women right now more on the fruit then the idea of practicing being a wife and submitting to a man. We will have plenty of time for that later on if we do well with where we are right now.