The Discomfort of Walking by Faith

Those with Broken Perspectives are Unwilling to be Uncomfortable in Trusting God

They refuse to live life in a place of trust that often requires the discomfort of not knowing. Because they choose not to trust God; they remain stuck in their current position until it is so uncomfortable that there is absolutely no other choice, but to listen to God or face destruction. 

We will not know the inner workings of everything, but we have enough to walk by faith. If you start to notice that you value comfort over walking by faith with the Lord, please know that you are exhibiting a behavior of someone who is broken. To some, It is easier not to deal with weaknesses and insecurities, than to face them with faith and trust in God.

We can hide them and mask them in making excuses because we want to be comfortable and aren’t willing to do the necessary work to take possession of what God has promised us through faith. Walking by faith will be uncomfortable many times.

You may not understand how the outcome will work itself out initially, but this is where those who are whole in their thinking proceed forward anyway by faith and in submission to the Word of God. It is that respect, submission, and reverence for the Lord and what He has said that eventually delivers us into the land of promise after all.

Those in the book of Numbers chapter 13 who made several excuses why they could not take the land of promise were broken in their thinking. The real truth was they did not have enough faith in God to deliver what he promised. They had placed their attention on the wrong thing. They were looking at the obstacles instead of looking at their God.

They Look at The Obstacles Instead of Looking at Their God

If we will be free in this area; we will have to find safe places to be transparent about our weaknesses so that they can be addressed with faith; instead of swept underneath the rug and disguised with excuses. We have to be willing to endure the discomfort of someone else knowing that we are not always strong, and we do not always have it altogether. In doing so, with the right type of people, we will become stronger, and the weight of carrying our weaknesses on our own will dissolve.

We will also have to place greater emphasis on what God has said in his word knowing that he isn’t a man who can lie nor the son of man to repent. Hopefully, in this process we also learn to cast those weaknesses on God as well allowing his strength to be enough for us. Our intimacy with God will grow, and the Holy Spirit will remind us of God’s word so that we are reassured that we aren’t alone.

First, I want to introduce this six-part blog series by sharing that there are times when everyone will be broken and being broken does not always mean that a person is doing something wrong. Look at some of our greatest examples who were broken Job, and Jesus.

Job became broken because God bragged on him allowing Satan to try him, and like God said, Job endured without turning on the Lord. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was broken, but it was a voluntary brokenness for a greater purpose to save us.

Brokenness can have a purpose if we have our perspectives in place. When we do not have our perspectives in place, those negative perspectives we hold can lodge themselves into our personalities causing us to exhibit behaviors of the broken.

Below are a few of those behaviors along with the appropriate view that one should hold in order to be free from broken perspectives and to walk in the perspectives of one who is whole in Christ.

Broken people with broken perspectives do not walk by faith

Instead of walking by faith; broken people abide in disbelief. They look at things based on face value and that is it. A person content to be broken will not exert any effort to train themselves to walk by faith. It isn’t always easy to walk by faith because walking by faith deals with moving in a forward motion despite what is seen with the natural eye. Faith means believing God when circumstances appear contradictory.

​Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. – Hebrews 11:1

The children of Israel had just come from checking out the land of Canaan. There was a majority who believed they could not have the land of Canaan even though God promised it to them because of how it appeared. There was a minority of those who went with them to scout out the land who believed God would give it to them no matter how it appeared (Numbers 13 & 14).

Those who desire to be whole will need to allow God’s process within them to cause them to believe God no matter what the circumstance appears to be. Those who desire wholeness will have to be intentional about addressing every fear with the Word of God consistently to build faith.

Did you know that wholeness is a prerequisite for dating God’s way and marrying God’s way? When we embrace who we are–fully, embracing ourselves and our standard by God, we can proceed forward in a bold manner that brings freedom to our footsteps.​Bold: (of a person, action, or idea) showing an ability to take risks; confident and courageous (Google Definition).There is a confident bent or settling into ourselves that has to take place prior to marriage, healthy dating or courtship. That settling is best maximized when the below is firmly in place.

A sold out attitude of trust in the Lord

Come what may, our trust should be at rest in the Lord. This is something that is often anchored during trials, challenges, and opposition in life. Every time God brings us out, and every time God gives us peace despite challenges, our roots grow deeper, and we become steadfast and unmovable.

This is why we cannot despise challenges, but we must face them head-on with the strength God provides through his presence and word. This sold out trust will cause us to rest from anxiety, and questions of approval or not from others. We will be sound, Girl, chill, confident in who we are and willing to take risks.

A community that supports God’s vision for your life
This is a very important factor in being bold in the wait because we all need others.

​Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Jimdre West, the 34-year-old, male virgin of Worth The Wait blog has a new community available for believers to keep us encouraged during our wait. It’s the WaitUp App. This app provides inspirational and encouraging daily notifications to your phone.

​It also has blogs, encouraging video, and events. Last month the ministry app hosted a Kings & Queens speed dating event. They have mentioned that they will be providing more opportunities for community as well. You will want to stay plugged into what they have going on. Go to your app store and download the free WaitUp app today, and follow them on social media @WaitUp.

Propelling Faith:

With the deep-rooted trust in the Lord in place and the strong community, you should only be moving forward. Propelling faith does not allow us to be stuck. Things that used to get you bent out of shape, should barely faze you in this place. As a matter of fact, that propelling faith should obliterate what attempts to stop you. Don’t forget, we are to be mountain moving people. All it takes is just a little bit of faith. With this faith, you will wake up in a whole new world sort of speak because things will shift suddenly on your behalf for your good. Are you ready to be bold in the wait? Like our Facebook page, and share your best bold face selfie.

Her Transparency

I’ve been following Michelle for years. I can remember reading articles with her being transparent sharing how she would sometimes feel awkward or lonely watching others holding hands and being booed up while she remained single. If you periodically have those feelings, it’s okay. You are not alone. Everyone has those feelings. Just move past your feelings into faith and hope. Her singleness seemed to last quite some time while fellow band members Kelly and Beyonce met their loves and married earlier.

Michelle’s story of recently sharing her engagement at age 37 just goes to show you it doesn’t matter what age you meet the special someone and become engaged; The important part is that we press through our feelings of when, can it happen for us, are we good enough, or will we always be alone, and look forward to our future. Michelle never gave up. She continued to live her life walking out her purpose. This included releasing albums, holding a standard, and encouraging others, and it came true for her.

Her Encouragement in How to Place Our Focus

Michelle wrote on her Instagram account not to focus on finding love so much that it depresses us. Instead, she encouraged those who want love; to do what’s in their power to prepare for it. Michelle was simply attending a Christian conference when she met Chad. They cordially talked and after Chad was encouraged by a friend to pursue her; they began texting. It will happen at the right time, and we do not have to force nor belabor over the idea of meeting the right one. We simply have to be ready and whole enough to take him on when he shows up.

She was also asked in an interview of whether she felt a pressure to find someone as equally successful as she is and she responded with the below answer:

 “I think it’s dating someone who is doing their thing intheir field. It doesn’t have to be another artist. It doesn’t have to be same tax bracket. Same tax bracket is great. But it’s so much more than that. Do they bring stability to your life? Do they bring security to your life? How are they pushing you [to be] a better person? Are they helping you deepen your faith or are they distracting you from it? Anything that’s distracting you away from whatever was making you successful might not be cool. You might not be equally yoked. Faith is important to me. Can we pray together?”(Refinery 29 Interview)

It’s important to be similarly focused knowing what you want, and holding firm to your God-given standard so you will know how to choose wisely.

Her Encouragement of Wholeness
​
In the middle of being purposeful in using our gifts and talents for the glory of the Lord. There’s this thing called self-care. When Michelle was asked about her self-care regime in a Refinery 29 interview late 2017, she shared the below:

“Yes. I know myself and I know I like my alone time. I light my candles, music, just really basic things. And then I also treat myself once a week to something that says I love myself. Whether it’s getting an ice cream sandwich or ‘girl you know you ain’t shaved your legs. Shave your legs!’ Stuff like that so you don’t neglect you. We are in an industry where we care for people. We have to have energy to give to people. So what can I do that just gives something to myself for a little bit?”

More from this interview can be found at the link: Click here

​Finally, Her victory in experiencing being pursued and captured by a genuine man of God, Chad Johnson, is simply awesome, to say the least. Her story just reminds those of us who are still waiting that there is still hope for us no matter how long it may take. I think I can maintain hope until the end! How about you?

More on Michelle’s engagement can be found in the exclusive interview she did with People Magazine at the link: Click here

​Last week we talked about Christon Gray’s situation and how we should view those who have become divorced not in a sense of condemnation, but in a sense of empowering them to overcome divorce considering ourselves. This week we will look at Datin’s situation which is the exact opposite. In Datin’s situation, he was cheated on and had a Biblical ground through no fault of his own except as he said, “Not following the leading of the Holy Spirit” when he was courting his former wife. He shared how he felt that he had to save his former wife during their courtship process even though he was warned of this idea.

First, let’s look at what the Bible says about divorce:

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’and said, ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. – Matthew 19:4-11 

“Marriage is the institution of God. Divorce is the institution of man”

Marriage is the institution of God. Divorce is the institution of man because of the hardness of man’s heart. What God was saying is that he never instituted divorce, but man did i.e. Moses. Because marriage is a picture of Christ and the church; it is a commitment no matter what. Many times this often includes staying committed even after sexual immorality. The Bible doesn’t say we have to divorce through sexual immorality. It says it’s okay to divorce because of sexual immorality.

That is how committed God is to us. Sexual immorality in marriage is a picture of idolatry or having another God aside from God. God has experienced that plenty of times with us and stayed. We have a choice. Even in adultery, a marriage can be restored, but both parties have to be willing. What happens with many is the hearts become hardened, and it seems impossible to continue unless both parties depend on the grace of God together to make it work.

Because we are human and become hard through various experiences; we do not have the capability to endure through anything without God’s grace. We have to allow God’s grace to empower us to grow and mature through the covenant that we’ve committed ourselves to. Some will be willing to do this, and others will not. This is why Moses allowed divorce in the old testament.
What does all of this mean? It means that marriage is very serious and for those who are mature enough and whole enough to commit themselves to one partner. It also means that there will be some hard times during marriage of which we will have to remain committed. However, because everyone isn’t willing to deal with the hard things that can come with marriage; many will divorce.

Some pointers to take from Datin’s testimony and interview below:

• There is life after divorce.
• It’s important to acknowledge our part in the relationship’s failure so as not to repeat the same mistake, but to learn from it.
• Don’t get stuck in trying to hold onto a relationship that both parties no longer want.
• God will give you the grace to move on, heal, and forgive.
• Don’t move ahead of God and his peace when choosing a spouse.

See Datin’s interview below. Note, he discusses his divorce at 20:00.

Approximately, two weeks ago, some blogging friends and I did a live discussion on contentment. We discussed what contentment is, how to become content and some of the benefits of contentment.

Lisa Gordon shared that contentment is a place of peace and being happy and full of joy with where you are in spite of what you have and what you do not have. It’s also enjoying the moment. She mentioned how sometimes we want something so bad, that we cannot enjoy the moments of what we already have.

I shared how it is a place of rest, and how some think that abiding in a place of rest isn’t doing anything, but that is not true. Abiding in a place of rest is abiding in a place of total trust in God regarding every area of our lives. When we are in that place of rest we do not allow ourselves to be distracted. We do not compare ourselves to others, and if we catch ourselves comparing ourselves to others, we bring ourselves back with the Word of God.

Finally, in that place of rest and contentment, we relinquish the right to control the how and the when marriage and courtship will happen.

Tatianah talked about how contentment is having that peace for where you are at, and being satisfied with that. It means to be satisfied with our portion. Sometimes, we get to comparing ourselves, and we forget what God said. If he said he would provide a spouse, kids etc. Then he will do that for us because he is faithful, and we have to remember that.

Kristen shared a definition of internal satisfaction. Contentment doesn’t mean everything in your life is perfect. She said when you are content, you have an internal satisfaction that does not put demands on your external situations. She mentioned how she had a moment where she just felt really okay with her life. This happened after a ridiculous season of warfare. She no longer felt a need to put a demand on the Lord, for example, she wants to be married by 33. Why? She learned to be content like Apostle Paul in the below scripture:

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. – Philippians 4:13-14

Another point from Kristen that stood out to me was the fact that whether we are single or married, we are still women. Our singleness does not take away from our womanhood and femininity. This is a very important key to remember because there have been times where being a single woman has been a battle of our worth or worthiness as a woman to be treated like ladies. Rather we are single or married, our worthiness to be treated like ladies and more importantly to carry ourselves like ladies still stands.

Do You Fully Love & Accept Yourself ?

​Singles are often encouraged to lower their standards to prove they are good enough to have somebody. I did this before. I was tired of everywhere I turned having to fight for peace and rest giving explanations to others on why I was still single and not dating. I tried to make it work with a guy who was not on my level, but he was saved.

Of course, I could not be myself all the way. I had to be quiet more about what I saw in his life that was simply out of order for a man who was pursuing a woman of God as not to appear as a nag.

There is no way our relationship would have worked without him coming up on his own. I would have had to operate outside of my role as a woman to be in a relationship with him. I would have had to do both my role and his to a large degree because he did not understand who he was and what his role was and if he did he was operating in rebellion which is another animal.

If you have to modify, change, or lower yourself away from your identity in Christ, it’s not it. If you do not know your identity in Christ, you should not be dating.

Instead, seek the Lord and see what he is saying to you.

I had been seeing myself too low due to the warfare I faced as a single woman over the years and some other things in me that needed to be dealt with.

Instead of seeking to make a relationship work that isn’t for you, seek the Lord and see what he is saying. God may want to do some additional work within you that you aren’t aware of even needing.

Whatever the word of the Lord is over your life, submit to that. God is committed to making us whole before joining us with someone else. It doesn’t mean that you have to be perfect before meeting an appropriate person. It means that you have to be healthy enough to still be who God wants you to be even while being joined to another person.

Maybe, it isn’t time to seek a relationship. Maybe God wants you focused on something else.

When we are married, we will be more vulnerable than we have ever been before, and thus we will be more open to being hurt more than we have ever been before. We all have heard it before, it’s those closest to us who hurt us the most. God wants us to be able to still be good after going through various things with our future spouses.

This is why it is so important to be whole when dating someone. Only when we are whole we will make healthy choices for ourselves without bending who we are to make something work with someone who doesn’t have God’s best interest for us.

If you are experiencing signs that you are doing it on your own; don’t be rebellious. Humble yourself and be willing to let it go. Begin to allow healing to take place until you come to a healthy place and make your relationship choices out of that healthy place.

I recently read an article about a popular comedian, Leslie Jones, who tweeted that she does not feel optimistic about finding a marriage partner for the future because men aren’t noticing that she is working out.

She made the comment that because of that she just may die alone. Her statement reveals a broader issue of how she feels about herself. It appears she isn’t in a healthy enough state about how she perceives herself to date at the present time.

She needs to fall in love with herself to the point where she doesn’t care if any men are noticing her because she notices herself. At that point, she will be whole enough to be noticed by someone who shares the same value for her that she holds for herself. It doesn’t matter what age we are whether 50 or 30. Age is not a requirement for readiness for courtship and marriage. Wholeness is a requirement. Wholeness includes seeing ourselves the right way.

​Proverbs 10:22 – The Blessing of the Lord makes rich and adds no sorrow with it.

This means there will be a particular grace that provides an ease of abiding within the blessing that comes from the Lord. That doesn’t mean it will be easy all of the time, and there will be no opposition. It simply means, you will be empowered to overcome those things with a particular grace that comes from God.

When we attempt to operate outside of God’s grace; we do relationships in our own strength. If we commit to doing relationships in our own strength, we become responsible to hold it together ourselves without God’s help. In essence, we do not give God any room to work.

We cannot even live a Christian life without God’s grace. Because relationships are a metaphorical picture of Christ and the church; when we look at our relationship with God; we can see that it was impossible for men to live a life pleasing to God without the grace that came from Jesus Christ.

Is God’s Grace Over The Relationship?
 
Many times relationships fell because we move outside of God’s grace. His supernatural ability that allows an ease in doing a thing because God has ordained it.

What does that mean? Should we not talk to a person if everything is not easy. Not at all. You should walk by faith.

By all means if you believe a person may be worth investing in, do all of the stuff that we should do such as seeking God, talking to a person and discerning their purpose and direction in life and whether it is complementary to who you are or not along with the guidance of godly counsel and accountability.

Do You Have God’s Peace in your dealings with the suitor?

If you do not have God’s total peace about a situation, it more than likely isn’t God. Obey God quickly. Don’t wait until you get attached because you are lying to yourself and/or making excuses why you should be with someone anyway. God sees what we do not see, and he is often protecting us from what we don’t know.

Don’t try to make something work that you know is not God. That is when we begin to operate outside of God’s grace. Again, when we operate outside of God’s grace, we become responsible to try to make things work on our own and we end up in shipwreck.

Many of us have tried to make things work on our own instead of submitting to what God has for us in a particular season. When we try to force a relationship outside of God’s grace and timing, it is often due to insecurities within us.

Next week we will close this out with the 3rd way you will know if you’ve met the one as we discuss how you see yourself.

For more godly wisdom, consider joining the below online single’s conference. The conference has some of the leading ministers on godly relationships in the nation. There is an early bird special where you can join the conference for a low price of $67. THE PRICE GOES UP ON TUESDAY. BUY NOW! No travel expenses, just simply join the conference online from the comfort of your own home March 9th and 10th. See website for details: bit.ly/2siEVbq

Have you ever heard the story of the boy who cried wolf? He was a shepherd boy who cried out warning of the arrival of a wolf at least 3-4 times. His neighbors, each time came out to help him, and he laughed at them each time because there really was no wolf.

However, the 5th time the boy cried out, there really was a wolf. Because the boy had not told the truth the previous times, everyone assumed he was also not telling the truth this time, and his whole flock of sheep was devoured by the wolf.

The above story is a classic example of complacency. The neighbors of the boy had grown complacent with his cry due to the disappointment of his previous cries. They, in essence, learned not to believe him nor take him seriously. This complacency cost them all of their sheep.

This is how many have become in response to what God has said he would do because of the wait and the disappointments along the way. Many have become complacent in response to what God said he would do.

I’ve been reading in Ezra regarding the rebuilding of God’s temple. In short, the children of Israel had been in exile 70 years, and God moved the heart of King Cyrus to fund the rebuilding of the Jewish temple.

The Israelites had faced opposition and disappointment on three occasions. The last occasion a new king became ruler of the province of Persia instead of Cyrus and this new king ordered a decree to stop the building of the temple. After 70 years of exile, it looked like the Jews were going to enter their promised land only to be stopped and disappointed. It would be 16 years after this disappointment that the Jews would begin to rebuild again.

The Jews had gotten comfortable with being in exile. God had to use two prophets to prepare them for what he was about to do. God spoke through the prophet Zechariah saying that he was jealous for Israel, and angry at the nations around Israel because they felt too secure.

​”Proclaim this word: This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘I am very jealous for Jerusalem and Zion, and I am very angry with the nations that feel secure. Zechariah 1:15-16

In short, I believe what God was saying is that he feels for Israel because they have lived in a place of obscurity for so long that the nations around them had begun to take them for granted. Israel used to be that nation where no one could stand before them because their God was backing them up.

However, it appeared that God was no longer with them. Because of Israel’s disobedience, God had to chastise them for 70 years. Thus, other nations looked at them as if they weren’t a threat. They blended in with everyone else. They no longer were set apart as a nation not to be reckoned with. God wanted to change this. God wanted to bring his people back into their promised land starting with worship.

How many of us for whatever reason have gotten into a place of obscurity? How many of us have at some point or another lived in a place of numbness and complacency to the hope of change and the hope of God’s promise coming to pass in our personal lives?

Perhaps this article is an encouragement from God to stir your spirit and to prepare you for what God is about to do in your individual life. I pray that your heart and spirit is stirred as you read to position yourself and your faith-filled expectation to receive whatever it is God has planned for you in 2018.

Approaching God in Fear & Reverence

In this blog, we will look at the relationship of a king, and compare it with the relationship to the King of Kings who is Jesus Christ. In doing so, we will learn more about some of the characteristics of God, and what it takes to draw near to him. Being near or close to God characterizes an intimate relationship with him.
For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. Romans 1:20
Intimacy With God Begins with Fear and Reverence
Be not rash with your mouth and let not your heart be hasty to utter anything before God: For God is in heaven, and you upon the earth; therefore let your words be few. Ecclesiastes 5:2
The above scripture reminds us of the necessary caution that must be taken with approaching God. There is a requirement of fear, respect, reverence, and humility in approaching God knowing who he is, and that he is King of Kings, Lord of Lords, The Supreme and All Wise Ruler.

In this we know that God has the ability to deal with us according to his favor or wrath, and we should respect him enough not to tempt his wrath. Like God has the ultimate authority; kings, presidents, or rulers on earth have an ultimate power as well. Studying how a king relates to others can easily show us some things in common of how God relates to us as well.

Some key scriptures showing the wrath or fear of a king:

• A  King’s wrath is a messenger of death, but the wise will appease it. – Proverbs 16:14
• A king’s wrath strikes terror like the roar of a lion; those who anger him forfeit their lives. – Proverbs 20:2
• A King’s rage is like the roar of a lion, but his favor is like dew on the grass. – Proverbs 19:12

In the book of Esther, King Ahasuerus had a well known law that anyone who came into his courts without being invited would be killed unless he extended his golden scepter. This law was a clear indicator that his kingship, and presence as the king should be greatly revered, and respected. King’s like God have ultimate power to do good or enact judgment, but they are trusted to rule in righteousness.

We are not to be forgetful that kings or those in authority do not bare the sword in vain (Romans 13:14). There is definitely a time where they must act in judgment and for that they should be feared and revered especially if they are righteous like God.