Category: Spiritual Growth

I Dodged A Bullet On That One

A few years back, I shared a story on how I met a brother at a unisex hair salon, who was pursuing me really hardcore. He was a really nice guy with some affiliation to church and he knew a few scriptures. As we talked, I sought godly counsel among my mentors, as well as the Lord. I asked God what he thought about the guy.

God responded in a dream as he often does, showing me that the brother was dangerous. More specifically, God showed me that he was dangerous because he walked hard after his flesh playing with lust which produced in him unbridled and un-submitted passions to walk after lust. Furthermore, the lust that was in this man begin to come out in conversation with him. Not only that, but the lust caused an inability to commit to pursuing one woman at a time. Thus, while he was in pursuit of me, he was also in pursuit of others.

One of my brothers in the Lord at the time shared how things would only get worse and not better if I were to allow a brother like that access into my life on a more intimate level such as marriage. He was right. Because I was not physical with the brother, I had enough clarity to pay attention to all of these signs and cut him off. Fast-forward a few years later, and he has had his first child. Children are a blessing from God, but there is a way that I would like to have children and that is with my husband. I do not want to volunteer to be a single mother.

Thankfully, I dodged that bullet. That could have been me as a single mom. I could have had a child with this guy who would have only been content to have sex with me and not to love, cover, and protect, or to encourage me in the Lord and life, and finally marry me. By God’s grace and wisdom, I did not have to bite that bullet. What can we learn from the above story?
Good choices in who we choose to associate with can save us lots of heartaches.

The scripture teaches us, “bad company corrupts good character.” In other words, we could have been on the right path, but one wrong choice in an association can turn us in a completely different direction. We often teach this to young people, but it applies just as much to adults. Just because we are adults does not mean that we can just do what it is that we want to do. We have to submit to the wisdom of God. Because of my choice to disassociate myself with the brother, I was able to maintain my godly standard.
Our intimacy with God is the most important thing that we have.

This is very important because it was my intimate connection with the Lord that revealed things about the brother that I could not yet see. It caused me to be more cautious and for good reason because God said so. I want to interject here that the byproduct of walking in purity is undistracted intimacy with God. That is knowing God on a close level. Thus, I do not practice purity to walk in religious pride and to lord myself above others as if I have it all together.

Nor do I seek to adhere to laws that God has not required to have an appearance of purity like some of my brothers and sisters in Christ do. I’ve experienced brothers and sisters in Christ trying to correct me for complimenting a brother among women on natural things such as attraction or manliness when this is natural affection. Holiness and purity do not require us as women to give up natural affection. It requires us to surrender our affections and passions unto the obedience of Christ. This is a heart posture toward the Lord.

“Who may ascend the mountain of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol or swear by a false god.“ – Psalms 24:3-4
Keeping our standard up as women of God will be a major battleground to be a successful single woman.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been attacked by not worldly people, but church folks on maintaining my God-given standard. However, I’ve gotten to the point where I no longer care about those who do not understand my stance. This standard has done what it was supposed to do and that is to keep me from getting involved with the wrong men who do not share my same values and to preserve me for the right man who does share my same values.

I attended a discussion on relationships last night at my church and my pastor shared that the standard that his wife had is what drew him to her. He had never seen that before and he wanted her because of it. In reality, I believe that many sold out Christian men and women want the same thing and that is a place to feel safe, secure, and at rest. When we meet someone who shares our same values it produces that place of security that we have longed for. However, we will not be able to see this within one another unless we maintain our standard.

Godly Counsel is our protection.
Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors, there is safety. – Proverbs 11:14 (KJV)
Thankfully, I have two older and wiser married women in my life who I can call when I need counsel. As I was developing into a more mature woman, I called one of them quite a bit. However, I appreciate the fact that God gifted me with them to correct me if I am wishy-washy, for example, if I am considering going back to a guy who clearly isn’t good for me because he simply wanted me.

There used to be a time in my life where I was so tired of the rejection that I had to go through as a single woman of God that I’d sometimes consider thoughts of going with whoever pursued me, but of course I could not do that because it was not who I am, and my godly counsel would remind me of that.

The truth is living a life of consecration to the Lord, and desiring to please him in every area of our lives including relationships, can be hard. It can get cold and lonely waiting for someone who shares the same values as us. However, it is all worth it. When we look back and see what God has preserved us from, it should also encourage us to know that he has also preserved us to something as well. That something will be a life-long covenant with someone who has also been set aside by God for His glory. That is what this is all about which is God getting the glory out of our lives. Sometimes, it requires us to go through the bad times, or disappointing times before we reach the good times, but good times are coming.

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3 Ways Singles Can Combat Anxiety:

I had just gotten back from a bomb conference in Atlanta last week where I worshiped God with no limits. I was having a great time. However, before the conference was over I had met two fine brothers. One of them, I had seen before and had small talk with, the other I met for the first time. One of the brothers asked for my number and the other was extra friendly.

The brother who asked for my number was not a participant in the men’s conference, which was going on concurrently with the conference I signed up for. Nor was the brother who asked for my number a vendor at the event. He was at the neighboring hotel where I went for breakfast. Therefore, I shared with him how I felt more comfortable adding him to social media. You know, so I can see what type of stuff he is into from his page and if he is already posting about God before meeting me.

It has been a few days, and the brother has not added me yet on social media, but he does have my card with my information. I could feel myself being tempted to become anxious. You know how it works as a Chi-town girl. I don’t meet very many brothers who are genuinely interested in me, so it is extremely few and far in between when I meet a guy who seems interested.

Because of the lack of guy’s interested, it can easily become a temptation for me to get anxious and nervous when a guy is. It’s almost like I just want something to work out so I won’t have to go through hoping and being let down again. This is where I have to apply the anxiety principal found in the below scripture.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7
Over the last few years, the Lord had been solidifying my trust in him especially as it relates to him supplying the need of a man suitable for me. I have been in a wonderful place of rest and trust in the Lord, and this is where I intend to stay. Anxiety is a thief of rest. Anxiety creeps up on us causing us to make poor choices out of desperation and lack. Anxiety causes us to take our eyes off of Jesus Christ and to place them on our need, lack, emotions or feelings. This is something that we have to be careful of. This is something that we have to continue to give over to God. This is something that we have to combat with prayer.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)
I can say that by God’s grace, I have not given into anxiety, but through prayer and honesty with God; I remain in a place of rest. Just to recap, the things to do to combat anxiety are:

1.) Give our fears and anxieties over to God in prayer.
2.) Choose not to focus on fear, anxieties, or lack.
3.) Instead, focus on things that are good and that edify.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Everything is in the scriptures right there in Philippians to keep us victorious over anxiety. I flipped those anxious thoughts into positive thoughts really quick thinking to myself that the fact that the gentlemen were interested in me was simply a reminder of how beautiful, desirable, and worthy that I truly am. I am the prize who is worthy of an appropriate suitor’s pursuit, and I rest in the fact that God has the right one for me who will be revealed in due time.

What do you do in times of being tempted to become anxious regarding something God has promised you, yet it has not manifested yet? Please, share in the comments below.

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It Takes Someone of A Different Spirit:

It’s Going to Take Those of A Different Spirit to Go Where Others Aren’t Willing to Allow Themselves to Be Qualified by God to Go
Have you ever been in a situation where you had faith to go through some seemingly extra strenuous stuff and others looked at you and said it doesn’t take all of that? Have people tried to dissuade you from going the strait and narrow path that God called you to for an easier path, but you decided to take the seemingly harder way anyway because God was there with you. It truly takes someone of another spirit to push pass the push back and walk strait on into the path and promises of God despite the challenges presented.

Caleb was of a different spirit. Why? Because he was willing to go through the hard things to get to the promise of God. Moses was commanded of the Lord to send out spies to scout the land of Canaan. Canaan was a land that God had promised to his people Israel whom he had just delivered out of the land of Egypt (Numbers 13).

A man from each tribe of Israel was chosen to go out and come back and give a report unto Moses and the people about the land and whether they thought that the Hebrews could possess the land or not. Only one man came back with a positive report stating that they indeed could possess the land. That man’s name was Caleb.

All the others thought it too hard to possess the land God had promised them. They said there are giants in the land. They said the descendants of Esau are in the land. The descendants of Esau were Jacob’s children and Esau and Jacob had beef at one point and time. All of these things mentioned by the eleven spies made it appear impossible to inherit God’s promise of the land of Canaan. This provoked the below response from God.
“Surely, they shall not see the land which I swore unto their fathers, neither shall any of them that provoked me see it. But my servant Caleb, because he had another spirit with him, and hath followed me fully, him will I bring into the land where into he went and his seed shall possess it. – Numbers 14:24”
​Caleb operated out of a spirit of faith. He was settled within himself at what God had done previously and what God could now do. He rested his trust firmly in the Lord. This is what caused him to think differently. While the other Israelites thought on the problem; Caleb thought on his God and his God’s ability. Where is your focus in this moment? Are you someone who is of a different spirit?

There are some who have decided to no longer endure God’s process because it has become too hard in their eyes to trust God despite what the circumstances look like. It was easier to that person to accept a replica of the promise, something that would not present such a challenge as to require faith rather than to go through the pushes and pulls of life that expand our faith and place us at the door of God’s promise.

People who quit the process will tell others it doesn’t take all of that. They will say they don’t need the promised land of milk and honey. A little government cheese will do. They will say like some of the Israelites, let’s go back to Egypt. Let’s go back to bondage. At least then, we knew what to expect.

When those in your life tell you that it doesn’t take all of that; just tell them, you, like Caleb, are of a different spirit. Keep Going!

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Single Believers, God Wants You to Enjoy Life Without Distractions:

And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. – 1 Corinthians 7:35There are so many great things that come with the single life. One of the greatest of all is to live a life in undivided devotion to the Lord. In this place, our minds are clear of worry, we are sure of our purpose, and are actively pursuing it. We are the most hopeful in this place, and there is lots of joy.

Satan’s main goal for the single believer is to distract us from this place of total devotion and attention toward the Lord. I looked up the phrase attend upon the Lord without distraction in the Greek.

It’s definition mentions, “without distraction, without solicitude, anxiety, or care.”

Solicitude: “a:  the state of being concerned and anxious b:  attentive care and protectiveness; also:  an attitude of earnest concern or attention (Merriam Webster Online Dictionary.)

Have you ever experienced anxiety as a single believer? Have you ever experienced a very distracting concern that seemed to overshadow your joy, peace, and hope?

Satan desires to put us in a position where we take our eyes off of Jesus and replace them with circumstances. One of the common ways that he does this is through offence.

You see, there are certain benefits that come with undivided attention upon God. Things like: Affirmation of our identity, vision, the direction and revelation of the Lord in a manner of clarity. It makes us sharper, better, and whole.

Offense on the other hand causes us to stumble and fall.

And if your eye offend you, pluck it out, and cast it from you: it is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.. – Matthew 18:9

Offend in the Greek means “to put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and fall, metaphorically to offend. To entice to sin. To cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and obey. To cause to fall away. To be offended in one etc. (Strong’s Lite Dictionary)”

Offence often works in those closest to us. The seeds are planted, and if we do not deal with them; they can lead us to doubt, viewing ourselves the wrong way, viewing God the wrong way, and disobedience.
Jesus in scripture opened up to those close to him—his disciples. He shared with them some of the things that he would have to suffer. Peter, then rebuked Jesus sharply exclaiming that he did not have to go through. At that moment, Jesus chose to deal with it telling Peter to get behind him and referencing Peter’s words as those coming from Satan. He told Peter that he cared for the things of man, and not the plan of God (Matthew 16:21-24).

Like Jesus’ experience with those close to him; we at times can experience those close to us such as friends, and family, who do not understand the higher calling on our lives to be joyful singles who are whole in Christ.

They view our singleness as suffering alone and state that we do not have to go through it. If only we lowered our standards a bit, we’d be delivered out of our poor state. Like Jesus, we may have to deal with this plainly stating how hurtful this can be in hopes of eliminating this as a distraction from our complete devotion to the Lord.

Recently, I had to address this in my own family. In doing so, I have been able to close the door to any wondering about things spoken against me that would cause me to stumble. Often, our families mean well, but do not understand that they may be being used by the enemy to cause us to stumble. Ask God to give you wisdom concerning any and all distractions that would keep you from focusing totally on him as the leader of your life.

Finally, for balance sake, make sure that what you are standing on is truly God. We will know this by his word. God’s standard for our lives is found in his word.

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The Sacrifice of Praise:

I am thankful to the Lord for his protection. Many of my followers know my testimony that God has preserved me from going through unnecessary drama in relationships. He has preserved me from having to be a babymama, and given me wisdom and discernment to acquire his best. Something that he offers to everyone who will follow him.

Just recently, I had met a brother online who I’ve followed for years. During, our first conversation his character and lack of preparation to be an appropriate spouse was revealed immediately. In fact, he was the type of guy, who would be abusive, controlling, and domineering to a woman. All of that was exposed immediately through his conversation. That is the goodness of God at work showing me not to enter a relationship with him and that moving forward with this particular individual would be moving in the wrong direction.

God has always protected me when I’ve been interested in men, and men interested in me. God has been there for me tremendously. He healed my daddy issues prior to marriage so that I would not take those negative things into a relationship. All of the hardships that I did have to walk through; God has walked through with me. I was never alone, and I am still here in sound mind and hope for the future only because the Lord has built me up. God built me up with his word and his presence. Truly, he is our everything.

What is the point of all of this? The point is to learn to be thankful when things aren’t going the way that we would like for them to go. There is always something to be thankful for. Sometimes being thankful will be a sacrifice. I absolutely adore Psalms 56:12 that says:
I will fulfill my vows to you, O God, and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help. – NLT
David in the midst of going through hardship, people talking about him, and pressure on every side decided not to give up, but to continue his faithfulness toward the Lord, and offer thanksgiving to God even though it was hard.

There will be times where it will get so hard as a believer where everything around us will appear to be going in an unexpected way. However, those times are when we are to offer the sacrifice of praise. Sacrifice meaning: something that isn’t easy to give, and something that really affects us. The sacrifice may even be very painful. That is what makes it a sacrifice, but we decide to offer it to the Lord anyway because the Lord is good.

David not only offered to the Lord the sacrifice of praise, but he thanked the Lord for what he had promised even though it had not been manifested yet.
I praise God for what he has promised; yes, I praise the Lord for what he has promised. Psalms 56:10 (NLT)
his is the character that God wants to bring forth in us his people. This character says no matter what it looks like, I will not deny the Lord. I will continue to offer my sacrifice of praise to the Lord. I will continue to reverence and fear the Lord for who he is. For one, we do not give our lives to God for what he does, but for who he is and what he already has done.

There were times where I’ve felt like I was being a bad example for dedicating my life to the Lord and his will encouraging singles and yet not having any fruit in the form of a godly relationship with a man. However, I have come to the realization that the lessons that I have learned along the way through enduring with God and his plan are far better than the fruit of simply having a man.

As a matter of fact, because of the way that the Lord has done things in my life; my expectation now is far greater than what it used to be. I believe my thinking was too small in believing God to produce the desire that he put in me for a spouse. God will bring his promise of a spouse to me, and so much more.
yes have not seen. Ears have not heard. Neither has it entered into the heart of men what God has prepared for those who love him, but he has revealed it by his Spirit. 1 Corinthians 2:9
What God has in mind for me is far greater, and my character, discernment, and intimacy with him needed to be so developed in order to handle where he is taking me. I write this to encourage those who have been consistent and faithful in walking with the Lord, and still have not yet seen their desire come to pass.

Know that your desire will come to pass. That is the easy part. The hard part is enduring to allow the character God desires to be birthed in us; while experiencing the disappointment of how things appear again and again, and yet still saying that God is good. This is the sacrifice of praise believing God despite what it looks like, and this is how we please God through faith.

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When We Sacrifice to The Lord He Exceeds Our Expectations

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

One of the major things that God has been doing in me is building my expectation. I had walked into church one morning recently, and the Lord was dealing with me about increasing my expectation. I was reminded of the above scripture as God directed me to keep my eyes on him and not what I see.
Have you ever been in a place where you had made such a big sacrifice, and you did not see a return on what you had sacrificed? It makes you feel like you are sort of at a loss. Well, in Christ when we decide to lose our lives for the sake of Christ and the gospel all we can do is win.

For whosoever will save his life shall lost it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. Matthew 16:25

Both of the above scriptures speak of an expectation that the believer should have who has given himself to the Lord. Those who sacrifice their very lives for the sake of Christ can have a knowing, expectation, sureness, and peace that God intends to make good on his promise. However, before we can receive his promise our expectation must be elevated.
God says in his word that he will not allow himself to be mocked what we sow we will reap. I can remember making a sacrifice during the year 2015. God had put an urgency on my spirit to write and immediately come out with my book, “The Single Christian Women’s Guide.” I wanted to help other women to overcome the things that I have been blessed to overcome as a single woman of God through Christ.
I took my vacation money that I had planned to go to Atlanta with, and used it to get the book out. I had prioritized the cause of the kingdom of God above my own. When we do that God honors it every time. A few months later, in 2016, I was blessed to go to Atlanta for free with all expenses paid including a nice hotel downtown, money for food and spending, and whatever I needed. Why? Because when God repays us for our sacrifice it is beyond what we have sacrificed.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine , according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20
God has created other situations to bless me beyond my sacrifice as well. What I have given in total toward the book has all been repaid, and I am in a better position. I am writing this to encourage those who have made sacrifices to the Lord, and have not yet seen a return on them. Satan will often attempt to deceive us into believing that God is not just for allowing us to sacrifice without us having yet seen a return, but some returns will take longer than others because the sacrifice was greater, which means that the reward will be greater. Remember the current suffering cannot be compared to the glory that is to come. Our expectation should always be up toward Christ Jesus and his immovable word.
During, the times where we can easily become discouraged for doing the right thing for long periods of time without getting desired results; we have to continue to build ourselves up on the Word of God.

But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost, Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. – Jude 1:20-21

There are some other sacrifices that I have made that are much bigger than the one that I made to get the book out. The sacrifices were sown in much tears of obedience, and self-denial to my own hurt, pain, endurance, and personal growth. I just have a great expectation that the Lord sees those tears and those sacrifices, and that he is taking so long to answer me concerning them because there is such a big reward that he is preparing for me. God’ answer to my sacrifice will cause me to forget absolutely all of the pain. He gives us beauty for ashes.
And provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:3
Despite, what things look like, our God is faithful, and the results of our sacrifices to the Lord will be far greater than the suffering endured in the middle of our sacrifice.

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A Time to Fight & A Time to Stand:

There is a time to Fight and there is a time to Stand Resting in God’s Promises

Don’t forget, after having done all to stand, just stand (Ephesians 6:13-14). Many of us have been in a battle for some time that has intensified to the point of almost being unbearable within the last two years. Of which, we have used all of the Word of God inside of us to fight and to stand. However, when we are so used to fighting such an intense battle, it can be easy for us not to discern when it is time for us to rest from such intense fighting, and to simply stand in that which we believe. Sidenote: We enter into God’s rest through believing (Hebrews 4:3).

I was reminded of this when reading a story about King David in the Bible. David was older and he had fought much of his life to remain in position to obtain the promises of God including taking the throne of Israel. He had gone out to war with his men, and the Bible says that he was exhausted. His exhaustion had placed him in a vulnerable position where he was about to be killed. A young man named Abishai saved his life. After this encounter, David’s men scolded him saying how they forbade him to go out to war with them again so that the light of Israel would not be put out. Light of Israel statement showed David’s value to the men. He was highly respected, regarded, and valued just like we are, but may fail to realize due to the distraction of the fight.

Resting helps us to take into account what we have really done, and accomplished. It helps us to see that life although, it is made up of challenges, is not all about overcoming challenges, and fighting. It is also about enjoying the fruit of the labor that has already been given. This can only be truly taken into account through seasons of rest.

There is a time where it is necessary to fight, and there is also a time where it is necessary to just stand. What are we standing on? We are simply standing on the promises of God. We are standing on the fact that we are loved by God with an everlasting love. We are standing on the fact that God’s love is unfailing. We are standing on the fact that we are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. We are standing on the fact that God’s word will not come back void, so everything that he has spoken out of his mouth will come to pass.

It is not God’s will for us to spend our whole lives exhausted fighting a war that has already been won. When we simply stand; We allow ourselves to take a rest. While taking a rest, God will send reinforcements like he did with David. One of the younger men actually saved his life, and gave him wisdom to remain preserved.

T.D. Jakes said something very wise. He said that a person who is tired cannot handle harvest because harvest is work. It is actually wisdom to rest between the season of fighting and the season of reaping the harvest. Let’s be bold in Christ as we rest in him standing on his promises.

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Why Do the Rebellious Get Blessed While The Faithful Suffer? – Prodigal Part 1

Have you ever been in a scenario where you have noticed once, twice, three times or more that an individual who was wildin doing whatever she wanted got blessed the moment she decided to get serious with God. While on the other hand, those that have been faithful continue to suffer.

I know I am not the only one who has asked this question before. I believe that many have asked this question, and allowed things to come into their hearts that should not have. Things like bitterness, competition, stagnation, and simply giving up, but this is not God’s will for his people.  I am going to correlate this question to singles as I attempt to answer it from the word of God primarily using the story of the prodigal son.

I had not thought on this question however in some time. I do remember asking God about this in a previous season of my life, but I feel that I had too much going on in my life and heart to hear God clearly on the matter at that time. Recently, I was in the restroom getting ready for work, and the thought below came to my mind regarding the topic:
“It’s already Yours. You just have to change your thinking.”
Immediately, I was reminded of the prodigal son, and my mind went to the father and his son sitting down outside of the party for the prodigal brother, who had just come home. I picture the faithful brother of the prodigal determined not to go into the party to celebrate his brother as he sits outside alone and angry. Upset at the ideal that his father, who is God in the story, is being unjust and unfair to throw a party and celebrate his rebellious brother blessing him. While the faithful brother continues to go through and suffer or so that is what the faithful brother thought.

Competition was the faithful brother’s first reaction when he said:
 “‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’.” Luke 15:29-30 (NIV)
His father’s response. “All that I have is already yours.” The faithful son just needed to be reminded that what he thought he was missing out on by being faithful to his father was already his. He simply needed his father to change his thinking. He had access to all of the fattened cows and everything that belonged to his father. However, him taking his eyes off of his father and the business of his father’s house and placing them on his brother caused him to loathe what he had as if he was missing out on something. That attitude of loathing what we have in Christ for feeling as though we are missing out on something can easily cause us to miss out. Why? Because it is all a mindset, and our mindset affects our faith which in turn affects what we can receive as believers.

When the faithful son was at rest maintaining his position in his father’s house without the distraction of his brother’s rebellion; he was fine, but when he took his eyes off of his assignment in his father’s house, he became discouraged. He allowed rejection to enter in, and saw himself as diminished in his father’s eyes, and beneath his celebrated brother when that was not the case.

How many of us singles have felt this way? We have obeyed God all we know how to the point of much suffering to have to seemingly continue to suffer while our brother who was so rebellious immediately gets blessed shortly after his change of heart.

How many of us have felt rejected by God in this as if our obedience has been in vain? Or how many of us have felt as though God was holding out on us while blessing the disobedient.

Two things the father said in the scenario to console the faithful son and change his thinking:

The father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. Luke 15:31 (AMP)

In other words, what the son was complaining about regarding receiving a cow or goat to celebrate was already his, and everything else that belonged to his father. He just needed to shift his perspective.

The other thing that the father said was that it was necessary to celebrate the other son (Luke 15:32). (Jubilee Bible 2000)

And it was necessary. Why? Because the prodigal son’s experience produced an identity crisis which could only lead him to more poor choices if he was not quickly reminded of just who he was. Too many poor choices would have ultimately destroyed him, and this is not God’s will. Hence, God’s urgency in presenting a different perspective to correct his son’s flawed image of himself.
“Quick, bring out the best robe and put it on him; and give him a ring for his hand, and sandals for his feet (Luke 15:22).” (NIV)The above situation did not only produce an identity crisis in the prodigal son, but also in the faithful son. It was the humanity of the faithful son to question his identity, worth, and love from the father after all of his faithfulness. This I believe is a natural question that will come up, and it is okay for the question to come up as long as we get God’s perspective on the matter.

The way that we get God’s perspective on the matter is to go to God. The prodigal son humbled himself and went to God to get his perspective of himself, and God went and left the party to meet his faithful son to share his heart with him. As long as we get to God, and are humble enough to hear him, we will not be moved because of these types of scenarios.

God showed himself as a compassionate father to both sons dealing with them according to their specific needs. Not according to partiality toward one or the other, but according to the unique needs that each of his sons had. Because God loves all of his sons and daughters.  He loves those who obey and those who need to fall harder to begin to obey later.

It is Satan’s objective to convince both the faithful son and the unfaithful son out of his inheritance. The faithful by believing God is unjust and his obedience has been in vain, and the unfaithful simply through impatience, carnality, and rebellion. Many of God’s people fall into this trap, but we need to begin to recognize it as just that a trap.

What God has promised us is already ours. In God’s mind, it already belongs to us. God is at total rest and peace concerning what he has promised us. It is us who become discouraged and allow things to come in and distract us. If we hold on, at the appointed time, we will see the fruit of our obedience and steadfastness.

I will also add that both sons in this story are both necessary so that God can get his full glory as not only a sustainer of those who obey him, but also a redeemer of those who disobey him. Both testimonies are necessary to point back to God and his redeeming power, so that all will know that they have a place in Christ if they humble themselves in coming to him. Let’s not get distracted by how someone gets to the revelation of their need for God, but let’s be thankful that they got there.

Be sure to read part two next week as I talk about competition, anger, and bitterness regarding this topic.

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5 Habits of the Maturing:

As believers, we are to be maturing which means we aren’t to stay in the same place, but to grow instead. Everyone may not be at the same level of maturity, but we are all maturing in some aspects. Below are some signs to notice when you may be maturing.

Mature people do not fight every battle
People are often easily jealous of mature individuals because of their maturity. Some insecure individuals see the promotion that comes with walking in maturity or godly wisdom without seeing the trials and tests that propelled the mature individual to maturity. Immediately the insecure individuals may compare themselves to the mature individual, and not feeling as though she measures up; she immediately looks for the worse in the mature person to put him down.

A mature believer will not fight this battle with an insecure person, but instead secretly pray that the insecure person would get a revelation of who she is in Christ. In doing so, the mature individual maintains honor.

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11 (NIV)

Mature people make hard choices when they know it is right even when they are afraid
Mature people will not allow fear to stop them. There may be something that is required to be done such as to confront a person in a biblical manner for the purpose of forgiveness or clarity. Even though these things are uncomfortable, a mature person will do what is necessary because he understands the benefit of doing what is right even when it is hard or uncomfortable. The mature person will value the result which will be clarity and forgiveness which allows for wholeness and soundness of mind rather than crouching in fear. Overcoming uncomfortable situations such as unforgiveness and fear allows us to operate at our best, and that is God’s will for us. Confrontation can be scary, but necessary. The mature will know when it is necessary.

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV)

Mature People Practice Discipline. They don’t always do what they want to do.
Mature people practice discipline meaning they know how to delay what they want right now; for a more appropriate time. They don’t overdue it. They don’t watch too much television, or spend too much time on social media. Instead, they remain focused to the task at hand, and once completed; they are rewarded because of their diligence. They don’t just think about today, but they also consider tomorrow.

Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in forced labor.  Proverbs 12:24 (NIV)

Mature people are humble enough to understand that they don’t know everything
They learn at every chance and every opportunity that they get. They are not offended from learning from someone who is younger than them they will learn from anyone or any situation where they can draw something from. They understand the value of growth the value of learning the value of getting better. Mature people understand the value of other people. They understand that they cannot do things alone, and that they need others for help. They are willing to do what is necessary to be in right and healthy relationship with others.

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem the other better than himself. Philippians 2:3 (KJV)

Mature people acknowledge the Lord in all of their ways
It’s a habit to mention to the Lord plans, thoughts, interests, and ideas. Doing so, is what makes our plans so successful. Either God will allow us to see that our ideal isn’t what he has in mind for us, or he will began to give us wisdom to walk out our plans and ideas in a manner that pleases him.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

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Why We Should Have an Expectation When God Says No Pt. 2

What am I saying? I am saying that God will use a no which is a disappointment to cause us to stay on course, but he doesn’t want us to stop at the no. He wants us to submit to his no, and then expect his yes. What has God said? What has God promised you? This is what we should expect after God’s no. God promised men that they would rule the earth. After the tower of babel incident, we hear stories of men becoming mighty hunters, kings, and all types of things ruling on the earth.

The same night that David accepted God’s no in not allowing the baby that was conceived in adultery to live; Bathsheba conceived again a little boy named Solomon. Solomon was a son of promise. Nathan, the prophet had already prophesied regarding Solomon being born to reign on the throne of David and build the house of the Lord. Solomon was God’s yes to David. In the birth of Solomon, yet another desire of David’s heart was fulfilled, and that was the desire to have a temple built for the Lord.

When we get into agreement with God’s no, and accept it as his will worshiping him in obedience, and submission to his will, we can have an expectation that God will move. When God does move, he will move on the thing that he has purposed a yes in according to his will.

The Bible says in Revelation 3:8 – He is the one who holds the key of David, (This, I believe, means a heart after God. That is the key of David. Someone who is willing to get into submission to God’s will even when God’s will requires us to give something up that we feel we truly need.  That’s called sacrifice. It sounds hard, but sometimes, we have to be willing to sacrifice. When we sacrifice for God’s purpose, we have to trust God to provide what it is we truly need. Just like when Abraham was to sacrifice his son Issac. God provided for Abraham another sacrifice because of his obedience. The scripture goes on to say that God will open doors no man can shut, and close doors that no man can open.
This means that God has some yes’ for us, and he has some no’s for us. We have to be willing to accept them. He promises us his best. So, yes! We can have an expectation from the Lord even in the face of no. Some of us have been so knocked down, and disappointed that we have almost lost our expectation,  joy, and hope. I read a scripture the other day that tells us to be joyful in hope. God expects us to have an expectation, a joyful expectation despite what we have been through. I pray that this word has built the faith of those reading to have a joyful expectation and continue to live the abundant life in Christ after God’s no.

Watch the video below:

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