So much is involved with deciding to be ourselves. There is fear, the opinions of others, the possibility to be seen as an outsider among one’s own kind, and mental and emotional exhaustion if we are addicted to the acceptance of others. These are just a few reasons why many decide to blend in with the status quo of what’s expected of them.

A clear example can be culture—religious church culture in particular. Various teachings have been passed down in church culture that has become expectations of being accepted as a genuine and mature Christian and these teachings have nothing to do with being in the faith or not. They’ve been passed down as spiritual law and authority when they are the opinions and interpretations of men.

Those who operate outside of the agreed thought are seen as outsiders and rebellious. Pride of the old teachings and ways overrides the leading of the Holy Spirit and the proper interpretation of the Word of God. Those who hold firmly to the old teachings pridefully force their ideas on others while disowning those who refuse to conform.

There is nothing new under the sun. This type of pressure has always existed. It exists as a tool of Satan to prevent some from walking authentically in how Christ called them to walk, but rather choosing the fear of man instead.  The fear of man is when we choose to respect what man says over what God has already said. The fear of man is being afraid to operate outside of the group, the majority, or those who rule by attempting to control the thoughts of others by pressuring one to conform to his/her ideas.

Jesus Christ, the Chief, experienced this very same pressure again and again throughout the new testament. It got so bad that the religious leaders called him a blasphemer while seeking to murder him on more than one occasion. However, Jesus was too bold in his identity to conform to this pressure. He simply knew who he was. He also knew that there were too many others whose lives were attached to his obedience to being himself and operating in his true identity as the Son of God and God in the flesh.

Had Jesus conformed to the religious elite of his day who mentally abused him with their accusations; none of us would be saved today. We would all be lost and Jesus would have lived a comfortable life. I’m convinced that Jesus would not have been able to live with himself knowing who he was and denying that to make the religious elite comfortable. Instead, Christ embraced who he was. He embraced who he was to the point of correcting all who were open to hearing the truth.

His life was our example to continue forward in the personal revelation of who Christ reveals to us we are and what he reveals to us to do. We are to continue being our authentic selves in Christ in the face of those who misunderstand us, who speak evil of us—demoting us from who we are to something lower like with Jesus. Jesus was demoted to be a blasphemer in the eyes of some of the well-accepted religious elite of his day.

It’s okay if everyone does not see us properly as long as we see ourselves properly. We can only do this by staying connected to God and his Word. God will send others willing to walk with us and believe in us as well. Jesus had those who walked with him closely and believed in him. It wasn’t until later that the acceptance of Jesus would be so well accepted worldwide. I’m sure in Jesus’ day many wondered if they should believe the religious elite’s opinion of Jesus or Jesus himself. Now, thousands of years later our very lives hang on the life of Jesus and the revelations about him he was able to share. His obedience to being himself has saved many. What are others missing out on that we are supposed to contribute due to the fear of man? What could others be missing out on that we are supposed to provide to them by being our authentic selves?

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I think when a leader falls into sin; the church’s response is either of two extremes. One, to cancel the leader who fell into sin or to cover the leader’s sin in such a way as to not hold him responsible for his error due to his position. I think both extremes are wrong. It’s important that leaders are held accountable as the scripture says they receive the stricter judgment because they have an entry point to lead others astray. Their visibility gives them greater influence and with that a greater responsibility to properly carry the weight of leadership.

Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. – James 3:1

There is a level of transparency and humility needed to recover from sin in general, but this transparency and humility required carries a greater weight as a public figure. Judgment from the mature and immature will be a given. I hesitate to judge others—meaning casting a punishment on them for their wrongs or even attempting to determine exactly where their heart is. I would not feel comfortable saying John Gray is simply evil due to his fault because I simply do not know his heart. I can only judge by what I’ve seen. This is in line with scripture that says:

“Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7

Some genuinely have undealt with issues where they have formed unhealthy sinful habits that they rely on to bandage their real issues, yet they still genuinely want to obey God. While others have no regard for God. They do not seek to obey him or love him at all. The latter are those who take God’s grace for granted. They misunderstand God’s grace as a pass for sin rather than the patient enduring of the Lord with our weakness and empowerment for us to overcome sin.

God’s grace is not a pass for sin. It’s His empowerment to overcome sin. Becoming acquainted with our weaknesses, in this case, the prowess to sin, should cause us to humble ourselves before God seeking his power to overcome sin. A person with an evil heart who simply dishonors God; there is nothing that can be done for him/her unless the heart changes toward the Lord.

God’s word warns about those who consistently crucify the Lord with their deeds saying there is no more sacrifice left for their sin:
Dear friends, if we deliberately continue sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice that will cover these sins. – Hebrews 10:26

Again, the above is for someone who simply disregards God’s law who isn’t struggling to obey God but simply willfully giving in to sin. Only God can perceive the difference. It’s like David who was involved in sin but still had a heart after God. He was broken at the fact that he had broken God’s law once he came to himself. Sin has a way of blinding us to the truth when we are in it and sometimes God will send others or allow life circumstances to allow us to come back to who we are in Christ. This happened to King David. He humbled himself accepting the judgment that was allowed because of his actions.
John Gray and those currently involved in sin must humble themselves, confess their sin to God, and trust him for forgiveness and cleansing from unrighteousness:

God’s faithfulness to his word to forgive us is instant, but the purification from all unrighteousness is a process that we have to continually submit to for the rest of our lives. It starts with us taking responsibility.

Thankfully, John Gray confessed he was wrong in a message to his church. This is the beginning. He and others struggling with sin will have to continue to take responsibility. This means that he cannot deflect the responsibility for his adulterous indiscretion on the women or woman involved like so many church people do.

In the case of sexual infidelity or fornication, the church has had a history of vilifying and demonizing the woman as a Jezebel or Delilah; while giving the man a pass. This behavior deflects from the real issue and provides an opportunity for the same sin to re-occur over and over again.

Deflection is the opposite of taking responsibility. While the woman/women will have to take responsibility for themselves. John Gray will have to take full responsibility for his action as a man of God and a leader who carries the potential to lead others astray on a greater level.

John will have to deal with the root of why this was allowed to happen. The Bible says that a good tree cannot produce bad fruit. Somewhere there were bad seeds planted in him that produced bad fruit. This will have to be examined and resolved. This will be a process.

We’ve had other leaders in the body of Christ go through similar experiences. Da’truth and Tye Tribett had been involved in adultery in the past with other women while on tour. Da’truth humbled himself and went into a process of being restored and mentored by Cece Winans and her husband. Tye Tribett also went through a process.  It was not just chucked up in a confession, prayer of forgiveness, and vilification of the woman involved.

Instead, Da’truth took responsibility for his actions, and he and his wife were restored. He’d even preached on how he’d let his guard down allowing certain things in that opened him up to compromise. The sin of adultery is a thing of the past for him and the experience made him stronger. He continues to minister across the country and properly rep the name of Jesus. Those who are mature will need to walk with John Gray to help him to deconstruct the mindset that opened him up to sin. He will need to be built up and restored in the truth.

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. – Galatians 6:1

In short, John Gray and others struggling with sin will have to humble themselves, confess their sin, and ask for forgiveness from God. In the process, he will have to continue to take full responsibility for his actions not deflecting what happened on the other woman/women, and begin a process of repentance.

Repentance means to have a change of mind and to change directions. He will have to work with other mature believers who will assist him in deconstructing the wrong mindsets that caused the wrong patterns of sin in his life. He will need to be restored to the right mindset that is in line with God’s word and way of doing things. His new mindset will cause new actions that lead to deliverance and freedom from sin.

I am genuinely praying for John Gray, his wife, and anyone involved. This can be a lesson to many both inside and outside of the church that if there is hope for John Gray; there is hope for others struggling with sin if we are willing to submit ourselves to God’s process. It’s not God’s will that any should be lost, but that all should come to repentance; that includes God’s leaders too, who are also recipients of God’s grace. 

Loving us did not come cheap to God. Even though He is God. He paid a high price for us. It is an awesome thing to sit in quietness and remember the goodness of the Lord. Even though many of us have heard the gospel story, sitting in God’s presence thinking on his goodness; we can begin to see it in a new way.

We know love is real when it costs something to love. A friend or family member gives up a kidney for a relative because of love. A married person dials back their dreams to be present with their spouse and children because of love. A single person holds out on false love because he/she loves herself. We know love is real when it costs us something.

So, what did it cost God to love us? It first cost God, the Father, his son. God the Father had to watch his son suffer on earth to bring us to himself. Jesus Christ, God in the flesh gave up his comfort. He had it made as God, the son. Jesus did not have to deal with any of the things we see him dealing with from man.

Jesus humbled himself as a man. He did not flash the clout of being God, but genuinely humbled himself. This humility allowed him to be scrutinized by the men he gave up his life to save. His humble entrance into the world as the son of a carpenter, Joseph, and a teen mom, Mary, who lived in a small town where everyone knew everyone garnered him the sin of familiarity. He gave up respect in his home-town to love us.

HHe gave up the comfort of avoiding confrontation from those who scrutinized him for teaching uncommon themes such as forgiveness, and the idea that a man could be God’s son—and making himself equal with God. He had to share these tenants so that we would be able to believe in him. He made it plain who he was.

He gave up comfort for being accepted among the most religious elite of his day by not condemning the outcasts of society—the divorced, lepers, tax collectors, and prostitutes. Finally, he embraced the grief of dying on the cross and leaving a grieving mother behind and siblings for the greater good of all humanity who would trust and believe in him.

All of this and more Christ endured due to the joy that was set before him. What was this joy? What was this motivation? The Bible says plainly in John 3:16 it was because he loved us. You are very loveable. Loving you does not come cheap. It cost God something to love you and me. Let’s not forget this. Let’s remember this when God protects us from those who do not likewise hold the very best interest for us. God loves us so much and if it costs him something to love us; that should remind us that we are worthy of love.

Following in Christ’s example, what can we give up to genuinely love our brothers and sisters in Christ as well as others in the world? Can we give up the need to be right? Can we give up the need for an apology? Can we trust the Holy Spirit to convict those in our lives who have done us wrong choosing to love them instead? What areas of your life is the Holy Spirit convicting you, stretching you, and calling you to a higher display of his love?

Have you ever been in a place where you feared condemnation because you came face to face with your weaknesses and frailties as a man or woman? What did you do? Did you begin to believe the lies of the enemy that told you that you weren’t enough or that you did not measure up?
God provided a way for us to be bold and confident in dealing with him even while confronting our weaknesses. That way is to be acquainted with his love.

Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the love that God has to us. God is love, and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God and God in him. 1 John 4:15-16

Herein is our love made perfect (complete or mature) that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as he is so are we in this world. 1 John 4:17
There is no fear in love, but perfect (complete, full-grown, or mature) love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

The above scriptures say a whole lot. The main point is first knowing and believing God’s love for us. This is one of the main areas we get attacked in especially if/when we fall into sin. Condemnation and the lies of the enemy set in to blind us from the truth of God’s love toward us. This is a rabbit-hole many fall down when they are only acquainted with God according to laws, rules, and religion, and not being acquainted with the fact that God loves them despite their weaknesses.

God knew about every one of our weaknesses before we would come to Christ and he has already made provision to heal us and to deliver us. Part of that deliverance will come from the humility of realizing God’s commitment to us is not contingent upon our works or performance. It’s contingent upon his decision before the foundation of the world to love us.

Have you ever heard the term, “I’m a mess, yet he still loves me?”

The acceptance, love, worth, and value that God offers us while we’re still in the process of coming to maturity produces humility that draws us to the Lord. That humility makes us want to seek him and love him back in keeping his commandments and becoming more acquainted with him.

We love him because he first loved us. – 1 John 4:19

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. – Romans 12:1

Becoming more acquainted with God’s love and mercy toward us allows us to worship God in a more meaningful way—not just singing songs, but offering our bodies to him, allowing our discomfort in denying ourselves to be turned to the comfort of knowing and walking with him.
This is why it is so important to become acquainted with God’s love in maturity. Immaturity regarding God’s love will have us going in the same circles and cycles of sin again and again. Those stuck in cycles may be depending on fear and trying to hold things together due to fear instead of resting in the bold understanding of God’s love and commitment to us.

That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love. May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. – Ephesians 3:17-19

Christianity is not the survival of the fittest. It’s the thriving of those who learn to rest in God’s love. The survival of the fittest concept means some make it and some don’t based on their own merits. It means some are cut out for this and some aren’t, but God made a way that everyone who believes in him would overcome no matter what their strengths and weaknesses are.

We become acquainted with God’s love through dwelling in God, who is love. See verse 16 again in 1 John 4. Whatever you do, seek to dwell in God. Pray that he would reveal himself to you and his great love toward you. Always believe in God and his word no matter what twists and turns life takes you on. Remember that God is for you always and never against you.

Love meaning: brotherly love, affection, goodwill, love, benevolence. Love feasts (Thayer Definition.)

The above description of love is how God sees us. His thoughts toward us surround the idea of dear affection, goodwill, and benevolence. When we are assured of this we can walk in confidence and boldness toward God according to the scriptures.

Boldness:Freedom in speaking, unreservedness in speech. Openly, frankly, without concealment. Without ambiguity or circumlocution. Without the use of figures and comparisons. Free and fearless confidence, cheerful courage, boldness, assurance. The deportment by which one becomes conspicuous or secures publicity (Thayer definition.)

The opposite of boldness is fear and torment. A fearful and tormented person is always afraid of doing something wrong, not being accepted, and not being good enough. The fearful person is afraid of punishment and hesitant in living a bold life stepping out in firm faith and belief in God. God’s will for us in life is not to walk in fear, but boldness toward him. We should know God and know that he is for us. We should be people well acquainted with his love.

Are you a single person or even a married person struggling with sexual sins such as pornography, masturbation, air humping, or fantasy lust? You aren’t the first one and you will not be the last one who’s struggled with those things. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
We’re all in the same boat; some way or somehow when it comes to missing the mark, but we have hope through Jesus Christ. Just because you’re a Christian doesn’t mean that you will not struggle with sexual sin. The good news is that we overcome sexual sin through Jesus Christ. I’ve struggled with each one of those things, and I’ve overcome. Below are some of the things that have helped me and I believe they’ll be sure to help you as well.

Pursue God more than you Pursue Freedom from Sexual Sin
Having a heart that truly wants to honor God causes us to do all that we can to overcome sexual sin. We set up crazy boundaries like getting rid of our computers and electronic devices, not watching television at all, and not talking to the opposite sex on the phone after 9 p.m. That’s good and cool, and eventually may be helpful, but it isn’t enough.

We can obsess over trying to do the right thing so much that it could cause us to stumble and do the wrong things because we’re putting too much emphasis on our strength. The reality is our strength isn’t enough to keep us from sexual sin. Neither is our strength enough to keep us in right standing with God.

However, feeding a greater desire for intimacy with God will help to calm our sexual hormones because we’ll be able to be more aware of God’s grace that is available to us. That grace will produce humility, gratitude, and a greater appreciation for what we are afforded in Christ, and that will make us want to obey God. I remember when God shared with me saying, “I did not need that crutch”, which was a form of sexual sin. It was like he’d just taken it away. Sometimes, God allows us to struggle longer with a thing because we’re turning to idols for deliverance whether it’s our gimmicks, ministers, or what have you.

Not that there is anything wrong with doing what we can do and utilizing ministers, but remember God is a jealous God and wants us to know Him for ourselves. Others are limited in what they can provide, but God can provide all that we need and he wants to show that off in a relationship with Him. In response to God’s goodness; we receive his grace to obey. See scripture below:

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will. – Romans 12:1-2

I also personally believe that the more time that we spend with the Lord; the more convicted we are regarding our sin and the lesser power our sin has over us. See Psalms 15 that discusses what those who hang out with the Lord do. It isn’t because they’re perfect, but they’re in pursuit of the one who is perfect. Side note: Pursuing God is more than attending church. It’s a personal norm that is practiced at home and throughout the day. It’s acknowledging him in all our ways.

Seek his will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. – Proverbs 3:6 (NLT)

Prayer is a large part of this. Sometimes, our life of seeking God has become so weak that we become more vulnerable to temptation. The Word of God shares that we ought to pray that we do not enter into temptation. Humans have a proneness to sin and we have to intentionally strengthen our heart for the Lord through prayer and following his voice.

“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” – Matthew 26:41
God does not condemn you. God’s whole covenant toward man is structured in a way as not to condemn. This is one of the first representations of God’s covenant toward mankind.

For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. There is no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus. – John 3:17
The Holy Spirit will lead you out of the darkness of sexual sin. You have to allow him to lead you. That means you have to push past the feeling of condemnation to continue to believe God through the experience of your sexual sin. Condemnation will make you run away from God, but running to God is the only way you will experience freedom. Don’t believe the lie that you are condemned because of your weakness, but rather believe the truth that God has grace specially reserved for your weakness. That grace is not only giving you mercy for your wrong, but it also empowers you to do what is right.

It will release the chain of bondage that may have been opened up in your life because of a vice. You may have had a legitimate need or concern that you looked to lust to provide the resolve for; instead of trusting and believing in God and his wisdom to provide for you.

A vice is an illegitimate way to meet a legitimate need.

The above quote was mentioned in my first book, “The Single Christian Woman’s Guide.” This book is useful to men as well. Continue to do what is in your power, but realize your deliverance will not come from you; it will come from God. Learning to depend on the Lord through the guidance of his Holy Spirit will be the major determining factor to your sure freedom from sexual bondage.
The Word of God is a cleansing agent that washing us from the dirt that we sometimes get into. Below are some scriptures to meditate on as the Lord ministers to you to free you from your weak flesh:

So, I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. – Galatians 5:16

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.  For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so, he condemned sin in the flesh, so that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. – Romans 8:1-4

So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty. – Zechariah 4:6

This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the LORD. – Jeremiah 17:5

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. – Jeremiah 17:7

The above scripture means that as long as we look to ourselves, flesh, or our means to be free; we’ll be in a self-defeating cycle, but when we become mature enough to look to the Lord; we will overcome.

I’m going into the new year like #humility. Yes, humility is something that prepares us for more. Read my book, “The Wholeness Action Plan” where I discuss how humbling circumstances prepare us for more. The Bible says the below about humility:

Before destruction, the heart of a man is haughty, And before honor is humility. – Proverbs 18:12

Life, itself, will cause us to walk in humility, but please know that God doesn’t waste any of the things we’ve gone through that has caused greater humility in our lives. God uses it to promote us and give us more. I have to remind myself of this and I was reminded in my quiet time reading and meditating on God’s word.

Caleb, in Joshua 14, recalls the story of himself being a bold young man of the age of 40 with convictions that the Lord would be faithful to his promise of giving Israel the land of Canaan and all the land He’d promised. Because of Caleb’s conviction, he was outnumbered in his belief. He did not judge his belief based on how things appeared but on God’s character.
Caleb had to live with this conviction 45 more years before he had seen it come to pass. Can you imagine being in the minority of believing God in spite of what things look like and for four and a half decades appearing like a fool before others who did not see God’s promise come to pass?

Finally, at the correct time, after the previous generation had died off, as God prophesied in Deuteronomy 1:35-36 saying

“No one from this evil generation shall see the good land I swore to give your ancestors, except Caleb son of Jephunneh. He will see it, and I will give him and his descendants the land he set his feet on because he followed the Lord wholeheartedly. – Deuteronomy 1:35-36

Not even Moses was allowed to enter into the promised land. Caleb and Joshua both had ample opportunity to give up on believing God through 45 years of not yet seeing the promise, losing relatives and mentors, and believing God without physical proof of his promise. However, Caleb and Joshua continued to believe. Caleb has been spoken of on more than one occasion of following God wholeheartedly. Trusting God throughout all of those years and experiencing various losses only humbled Caleb more causing him to realize even more that his one true hope would and could not be anything but the Lord.

Because of his trust in God; it was as if Caleb had lost no time. He shared that his strength at age 85 was just as it was at the age of 40 years old when his faith was first shown in such a public way. God promises in his Word to renew our youth like eagles by satisfying our desires with good things.

Who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle. – Psalms 103:5

Don’t forget that it’s God’s will to work in us both to will and do of his good pleasure. That includes causing us to desire what He desires for us and trusting him to fulfill it. So, at 85 years old, Caleb was blessed by Joshua and given the land of Hebron, which was formerly called Kadesh-Barnea. The story closes out again sharing how Caleb inherited the land along with his descendants every since because he followed the Lord wholeheartedly. It takes humility to follow the Lord wholeheartedly especially in a culture with those who do not believe and mock at others for their belief. Through it all, Caleb was full of the goodness of God not concerning himself with unbelief. His decision not only caused him to have an inheritance, but his whole family line—through his act of faith, belief, humility, and obedience to following the Lord. What have you been believing God for with strong conviction to bless not only yourself but your whole family line? Are you willing to humble yourself in staying in faith no matter what things look like?

The Bible warns against us allowing the cares of this life to choke the Word of God out of us. Thus, rendering us unable to produce the fruit in our lives that God has planted. There has been a lot of distractions in the daily media that can be used to choke the Word of God out of us if we aren’t careful in guarding ourselves against distractions.

Some of the main distractions I’ve noticed have been racism, sexism, and an overall religious spirit. There is this woke mentality where even believers are questioning truths about Jesus Christ due to the gospel in America being preached with racist ideas.

Jesus’ name was used on one of the ships carrying slaves from Africa. It is referenced as “The Jesus Ship” or the Jesus ship of Lubeck. This is a classic example of taking God’s name in vain. God’s Word is clear that God will not hold guiltless anyone who takes his name in vain (Exodus 20:7). We have to trust God enough to judge those who use his name for something that does not represent his character. This is why we have to get to know God for ourselves.

Also, the name Jesus was a common named during ancient times. Just because someone uses the name Jesus doesn’t mean they are referencing Jesus Christ of the Bible.  The Word of God was used to promote Black slaves in America to obey their masters, and Biblical principles such as anti-abortion and working are over-emphasized over the value of loving our neighbors in the Republican party which often identifies as Christian. If one isn’t firmly rooted in Christ and his Word for himself; how can he stand to continuing to trust in Christ?

It has been my personal prayer that the Lord would raise a standard against the false teaching and false ideology of anti-Christ being promoted in the Black community. The spirit of anti-Christ has attempted to, like a python, wrap itself in Black culture to choke out the word of God. However, this attack is a greater call for us as believers to do our diligence in studying the Word of God for ourselves and being open to learning about apologetics.

Finally, a Bible teacher and speaker whom I just recently became familiar with through his book, “Why Believe the Bible”, has spoken out against another teacher carrying the gospel simply because she is a woman. What type of foolishness? It’s simply a distraction. One distraction is to get Afro-Americans to devalue themselves and distance themselves from Christ; while the other is to get women to devalue themselves and become stagnant and bound up in not using our purpose to glorify Christ.

The final word on both of the above-mentioned distractions is that salvation is for all men including Whites, Blacks, Jews, and all gentiles. It’s God’s will that all men would be saved. This is clearly stated in the Word of God, and shown throughout the genealogy of God’s chosen people, the Jews. The Jews were not chosen because they were special, but because they were small (Deuteronomy 7:7.) They were chosen to be a figurative example of God’s commitment to his people. A greater covenant than what’s been shown to the Jews is currently available to all men through Jesus Christ. A good book recommendation to read up on these things is, “Every People and Nation: A Biblical theology of race” by Daniel Hays.

The second lie is simply ignorant especially for a Bible teacher or scholar. There is no special placement with God for being male or female. That means nothing to God. That’s why the Bible says there is no male or female in Christ (Galatians 3:28). There have been a few confusing scriptures when taken at face value however, but all we have to do is study it out to get the understanding. For example, women will be saved through child-bearing.

Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. – I Tim 2:15

At face value, it appears that the scripture is saying women cannot be saved unless they have babies, but that leaves a lot of women out. Some women are infertile, others have not married and never will marry. How will they have babies in a God-honoring way? Well, that isn’t what the scripture is saying. When studied, in context, the letter is written from Paul to Timothy instructing him on how to respond to the false doctrine that had infiltrated the church at Ephesus that Timothy was given charge over.

There was a false god called Artemis. She was known for fertility and child-birth among other things. All of her devotees were women called, priestesses. They were infiltrating the Ephesian church putting fear in Christian women about not getting through childbirth safely if they chose not to worship her. That word saved in the Greek means: to save, keep safe and sound, to rescue from danger or destruction. Those who interpreted the scripture may have made the understanding clearer by using the word safe through child-bearing instead of saved. Safe is a word more similar to the Greek meaning of saved as we know it in the English language.

The Bible confirms the presence of worship for Artemis in Acts 19:23-41. There was a riot that started due to Blacksmiths and tradesmen being afraid that Paul’s ministry would put them out of business for making and selling the Artemis idols.

Looking up definitions of words, studying the historical contexts in Bible dictionaries, commentaries, and other reputable sources allows us to get a greater understanding of what the scripture is saying rather than taking someone’s word for it who has not studied. Unfortunately, some Christian teachers place their on biases in teachings relating to the scripture.

However, The Word of God will always confirm it’s meaning. It is better to believe and fear God and his Word than man. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by the cares of this life, but instead, study to show yourself approved unto God a workman who doesn’t need to be ashamed rightly dividing the Word of truth. My point is that you need to know God for yourself. You need to know what he says about you for yourself. You need to know that God values and loves you for yourself. Don’t believe the lies, and don’t allow yourself to be distracted.

Recently, Erica Campbell has been very vocal about her views on masturbation. She shared her view on the Breakfast Club asking the question where does God go during masturbation:

“I know some churches say for the brothas. ‘It’ll keep you from slipping up. Go ahead and handle yourself. I’ve heard some women say, ‘I take care of myself before I go out on a date…”

She went on to share the beauty of approaching everything that we do from a position of purity within our hearts:

“I think about purity and purity happens before the actual action of whatever you do. Whatever you watch, whatever you listen to, whatever you do with yourself. Your mind being in a place of purity is very crucial. But I think in our society today, everything is sexualized. You could be selling chicken and there will be a pair of boobs there. It’s just everywhere. So, I think guarding your mind and guarding your thoughts and treating sex and sexuality as something beautiful that God created that’s supposed to be beautiful and otherworldly and you come together with somebody and your lives come together. It’s not so cheap.”

Finally, she shared that she just doesn’t have to masturbate as she has a fine handsome husband to be sexual with. I just have to say, I love what she shared. Erica has always given me hope in the arena of love and relationships. I adore the relationship she has with her Hubs.

In one article that I read she shared that she doesn’t know what it’s like for the singles, but she has her husband. Well, as a woman, who is currently single. I wanted to show my agreement with the idea of not participating in masturbation as well. Masturbation is something that I’ve shared that I’ve been free from since the age of 12. However, that doesn’t mean that I’ve never been sexually tempted. I’ve simply gotten to a point where I know I don’t have to give in to it.

Most times when single believers are tempted toward an act of masturbation or any type of sexual impurity; it isn’t because of the act itself, but a deeper underlying issue. A single believer may feel unwanted, rejected, unloved or angry at God for allowing him/her to be single for so long with such a high standard of waiting for marriage to have sex. To fill a void or desire to feel loved; a person may participate in a sexual impurity whether it is masturbation, pornography, air-humping or fantasying. It’s just a real thing that single believers will have to overcome.

Once, the underlying issue is dealt with, it honestly becomes easier to wait in a place of purity to experience sex in the right way—the way God has ordained for it to happen between a husband and wife. The problem comes up when a person doesn’t believe s/he can be free from sexual impurity and so s/he makes excuses to continue in sin. Humility in consistently seeking the Lord about the issue that caused the sexual impurity along with humility in inviting others in who can help with correction, accountability, and encouragement in purity will assist in dealing with the underlying issue. Seeing ourselves as God sees us will resolve any issues within how we value ourselves or the lack thereof. The more secure we are in the Lord; the more sexually pure we will be.

We also have to learn to value getting to know God intimately over self-pleasure. The Bible warns that in the last days people will become lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God.

They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 2 Timothy 3:4 (NLT)

The Word of God shares that the pure in heart are those who hang out with the Lord. If we value this hanging out in the presence of the Lord more than having our flesh temporarily satisfied; we will also overcome the lusts of this world.

A psalm of David. LORD, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain? He who walks with integrity and practices righteousness, who speaks the truth from his heart, He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; Psalms 15:1-2

If we continue to read in the above chapter, there is a level of purity and un-mixture that we can get to in Christ. When we are struggling in our flesh it doesn’t seem that way, but it is possible and our reward for walking in obedience to God is more of his presence. There is a greater longing, fear, and sensitivity that comes on us in that place. It makes us want to resist our flesh and continue to fight the urge to satisfy our flesh in impure ways.

That’s something we have to guard against. Masturbation and sexual impurity cannot become an idol in our lives that we are looking to for acceptance, worth, value, or comfort more than God. That’s idolatry. It’s a perverted form of what God created to glorify himself. God created sex inside of marriage to bond the husband and wife to one another, not to bond us more with trying to please ourselves. The Word of God also warns against a self-seeking and wicked culture:

Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. – 2 Peter 3:3

Scoffers are those who despise the law, boundaries, or authority for their own selfish gain. God’s way is not like that. God tells us to submit ourselves to the process of being a living sacrifice holy and acceptable to him which is our reasonable service:

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. – Romans 12:1-2

Finally, condemnation will keep believers in sexual sin. Condemnation is from Satan. It is used to make us feel as though we aren’t good enough to do things God’s way. We may be tempted to believe that holiness and purity are only for certain people because we may continue to mess up. However, the Word of God also says that a righteous man falls seven times, and seven times gets back up again. You have to keep seeking God to be free, putting up boundaries, and placing yourself in environments with godly community that will help you to overcome this area. God’s grace is available for those struggling with sexual sin. The Lord can keep us from falling in this area.

I am a personal witness. I’ve been delivered from fantasy lust for some years now. I remember God sharing with me one day saying, “You don’t need that crutch.” It was something I was using to still feel desired and wanted even though it seemed as though I was unwanted. I remember praying to the Lord saying, “I wish I was better for you. I wish I was stronger for you.” The devil will try to make you believe you aren’t good enough for God because you struggle with sexual impurity when the reality is you just need to be delivered from whatever is driving you to find comfort in the sin outside of God.