He Invests in himself
The Bible makes it clear that we cannot love others unless we first love ourselves. This is a principal that is true despite religious affiliation. It will work for whoever works it. A good sign that a guy is a good catch is that he loves himself, and that is clearly seen through him investing in himself. This man will invest in himself by submitting to authority, being humble enough to know that he doesn’t have it all together, and ultimately submitting to God.

Trust me, if he isn’t willing to invest in himself, he will not be willing to invest in you nor your relationship together. He may instead be selfish enough to invest only enough in the relationship to get what he wants and continue in his own world. I’ve experienced in the past the man who would not invest in himself. He hinted to leaning heavily on me for basic things that he should have had together already before even pursuing a woman such as submission to God, spiritual leadership, and having his own identity.

A man without the proper identity of himself will compare himself to his lady and even become jealous of her. These are all unhealthy when seeking to build a healthy relationship. When we find a man who is willing to invest in himself, we should know that we may be heading in the right direction. It just may be the direction of love.

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. Ephesians 5:29

He protects
I’ve been in awe of this man who has recently been pursuing me. From our first conversation in making plans to get to know each other, he showed me his natural instinct as a man to protect a woman. How sexy?

We had discussed going out on a particular day, but to our surprise it began to snow pretty bad here in Chicago. My new friend shared how he would feel so bad if something happened to me while trying to meet up with him in the snow. Because of the snow, we both decided to re-schedule our outing for the next day.

He is selfless and respectful
The second instance of my friend attempting to protect me was when he asked me what I’d feel comfortable with physically as we got to know one another. He shared how in a previous relationship a kiss to his then interest took her to a place that she did not feel comfortable going.

I thought it was very thoughtful for him to bring that up and make sure that I felt comfortable with any physical action before just giving it a try. Not only is that a sign of protection, but a sign of respect and selflessness. Men love to be physical. That is one of the ways that they love to express their love, but because I am not comfortable with any physical action at the moment besides what I’d do with a friend such as a hug or something, my friend has agreed to not move further in the physical arena unless we both agree. We know that sex of course is not an option until marriage.

Right now, we are both just focusing on getting to know each other in general without the distraction of kissing, rubbing, or any such thing at the moment. If indeed the gentlemen is the one for me, there will be plenty of time for that later. We will continue to proceed with caution, the fear, and wisdom of the Lord in this area.

He Loves Me. He Loves Me Not.

He is patient
As a single woman of God who has been waiting on a mature man of God for a long time, it’s easy to develop a form of being guarded from men that are obviously inappropriate for us.

That was the case with me. Not only do I proceed cautiously regarding guys who do not appear appropriate, but also with guys who may appear appropriate for me as well. We all have been fooled a time or two by a love interest’s presentation. Thus, I am not very quick to commit right after meeting someone to an all in relationship.

There was a phone call that my friend and I had where I thanked him for being a good friend. His response was, “I am not trying to just be your friend.” I had discussed with him previously that I wanted to take things slow and did not want to just jump into things right away. I wanted to see his character, and for him to see mine, and for us to decide if we really agreed to move further after having more of a foundation on each other.

Men can tend to become very excited when they see what they want, especially if they get a response too! Oh, it is on! Look at Adam, who knew his wife at first glance speaking to who she is.

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” Genesis 2:23

Sometimes, guys just simply know what they want. Whereas, me on the other hand, I know what I want, but am not immediately sure if a particular guy is what I want off hand. My friend despite my reservation, chose to stick around because he says he is patient, and that he is.

Love scripture: Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Even with all of the good traits displayed, we should continue to look for consistency over the course of time. Time will ultimately tell you if someone is right for you. Holding fast to your standards, boundaries, and values will protect you during the time of getting to know your potential spouse. This was the case for me in this dating scenario. While the gentleman was a really good guy: he ultimately ended up not being the guy for me and that’s okay. Every dating relationship will not turn out to marriage. Everyone isn’t for us. It’s better to know this prior to marriage as it will be less hurtful than moving forward to marriage and having to divorce later.

The job that I work with does contract work at times for an outside agency which requires me to work downtown at times with others from different agencies. One morning, I had gotten to work and one of my sisters in Christ from one of the other agencies was just on the clouds. I wondered what the deal was, and little did I know she had the same issue that I had.
She met someone who met appropriate qualifications as well on a trip to Cuba. They’d been talking for some time now, and she had been pretty content like me. She shared some tidbits of wisdom that she had implored. The first was her accountability tactics. For one, most of her accountability partners are married as she shared that they give her a more realistic picture of how to get to her goal of marriage.
She is like me also in that she is not really giddy when it comes to men. She is more open and laid back as far as getting to know a gentleman as trustworthy and mature enough to maintain a relationship with her more so than the emotions of romance. Not that emotions and romance are bad, but without the appropriate foundation romance and emotions are fleeting.
Thus, she initiated a conversation about guarding one another’s heart. How can they guard one another’s heart and what boundaries can they set in place to do so. These were the questions she asked. In part, because she was not sure where she wanted to go. If they’d just be friends, potential marriage partners, or seasonal associates.

Sometimes we just don’t know what a person is to be in our lives, but we have God’s peace that he is to be there. In those cases, it is highly important to guard one another’s heart. I planned on having a similar conversation with my friend and to set some boundaries to make sure that our relationship is heading into the right direction.
When I first bought up the ideal of guarding one another’s hearts, my friend somewhat took it as a rejection, and I had to expound that it was not a rejection, but whether laying a foundation of simply getting to know each other over the emotional and physical aspects that a romantic relationship can bring to the table. Besides a guy who can be a girl’s friend first has a better chance with a girl, than a guy who just pops up and expects a girl to just immediately be all into a full blown relationship. It’s like, “I don’t even know you fam!”
My new friend was already doing a pretty good job of guarding my heart prior to the conversation; however, it’s a good ideal to still have these types of conversations so that we are not caught off guard by becoming too intimate too soon. When I say too intimate, I am not just talking about sex, but too intimate in conversation speaking to one another as if we are already in a full blown relationship or as if we are sure things are heading that way when we really have made a decision yet.

One of my accountability partners cautioned me regarding this. Her take was that saying things like I miss you too soon or I love you too soon could escalate the relationship before an appropriate foundation is layed in getting to know one another. While this can be wisdom, we want to naturally be ourselves as well. Part of my personality is to tell someone that I miss them when I have not spoken with them for a while, so I could only hold out so long on that one. The Holy Spirit is the best leader and director of what should or should not be said. The best advice that I received on what to do is to be led by the Spirit in this process.
While we did not leave the conversation with any specific rules of what can be said and what cannot be said, at least it is out there that we are taking our time right now to simply get to know one another to see if we’d be good fits for marriage. This provides a more realistic aspect of where we are and reduces pressure that can come from unexpressed expectations.

As I’ve shared with my students in times past the only way you will be able to tell if someone is for you is through the process of time. Time will tell. During that time, proper boundaries and the fear of the Lord protects us as we make our decisions on how to proceed forward.
So far, I’ve already learned some interesting things about him such as what his passions are and whether he is sure of his purpose or not. I think the most interesting discussion that we have had so far is about the Holy Spirit. How cool to have someone that I can talk with about both natural and spiritual things without being looked at like huh. Praise God! It’s nice to have someone in our lives where we don’t have to be afraid of being ourselves. Well, this is a new experience for me that I hope every single woman of God who is desiring and believing God for someone gets to experience.

Up until now, I haven’t had a reason to entertain a guy for a reasonable length of time. Either the brothers were immature, in their flesh, or I just did not see them as a possible romantic interest or neither did they see me as the same.

However, recently I’ve found myself in a position that came straight out of the blue.  I met a godly and mature young brother over the Valentine’s Day weekend. How ironic. Ironic because, I live my life pretty content as a single. I had just written a blog on being thankful for the love that we have even in the absence of romantic love.

Now that I have the interest of a handsome, saved, mature, and considerate gentleman who is clear about his interest (not playing games) plus intentions toward me of seeking a wife; I kind of don’t know what to do. I had gotten so used to dismissing the wrong guys; that I was completely caught off guard when the right type of guy appeared.

Questions that I never really had to delve into as much before now come to surface, such as how should I now implore accountability, how do I continue to be consistently faithful to God as a single now dating, am I supposed to feel lovey dovey all of a sudden or does it take time.

All of these questions come to mind now because more than a desire for a godly spouse filled with intimate companionship and love, I want to please God. Instead of trying to figure everything out, I will enjoy the journey of getting to know the gentleman in a non romantic way. I don’t want to force anything, but want things to happen naturally.

Finally, I will continue to seek the Lord regarding everything while being thankful. Thankful, for being able to witness for myself that all of the lies that I have had to fight up until this point remain untrue. Lies that say: There are no good godly men, men don’t want women set apart by God, compromise is a must to have a relationship. The devil is a liar!

We as women don’t have to compromise who we are to get a man. It is our willingness to embrace who we are that sets us apart making us attractive to the right man. The right man will praise us for our virtue instead of seeking to entice us to lower our standards to meet selfish desires.

Proverbs 31:28 -30 – Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all” (He sets  her apart from the rest). Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Again, this type of a woman is set apart from the rest as a cut above. Ladies, we have to know who we are and be bold in who we are, and the real men of God will recognize that. It is similar also with men of God. True women of God will recognize that, and hold those men in high esteem.

Stay tuned for part II as I learn what to do now that I have no reason to say no.

Everyone has to wait for something in life. As believers that is part of our development in learning how to trust in the Lord. In my new book, “The Single Christian Woman’s Guide.” I discuss how I have been blessed as a single to see both sides of the spectrum. Meaning, I have been blessed to see both singles and married couples waiting on the Lord for something.
Waiting on the Lord does not stop when we get married. It is something that we will experience for the rest of our lives. When God fulfills one promise, we will wait for him to fulfill the next. I have married friends who are waiting to have a baby, others who are waiting for their children to grow old enough to work on fulfilling their dreams. Waiting is a process that helps us to increase our intimacy with God. It causes us to be in situations outside of our control whereby we have no choice, but to trust God.
God reveals himself, and our faith is made stronger. The children of Israel had to wait until God raised up the deliverer Moses. Had the children of Israel not been in bondage for 400 years, how would they have known that the Lord could deliver. Waiting on God produces intimacy with God. It also solidifies our relationship with God to know that he is a keeper of all of his promises.
How we wait on God also determines the outcome of our waiting on the Lord. I have been meditating on Matthew 25 where there is a parable given about 10 virgins. 5 virgins were wise, and the other 5 virgins were foolish. The wise virgins kept their lamps filled with oil, while the foolish virgins took for granted their need for oil and ran out. They ended up missing the bridegroom when he came because they had to go back and prepare at the last minute instead of remaining in a position of readiness like the other 5 wise virgins.

We know that this parable is in regards to Jesus Christ coming back for the church, which is figurative for the bride of Christ, and those that were unprepared will miss Christ’s coming and be shut out of the marriage ceremony to take place between Christ and the church. However, the principal is still the same regardless if we are relating the story to Christ and the church or singles waiting for the spouse that God has promised.
There is something that we have to do on our parts. We have to remain faithful as we wait. If we read the story of the 10 virgins, we see that they all became drowsy, restless and fell asleep. In other words, they all faced the same temptations, hardships, and pulls from other things to neglect what was necessary in staying ready for their promise. However, some remained faithful and ready while some did not.

We have a choice as singles how we will respond to this waiting process. We do not have to give in to compromise and things of the world that would rob us of our position of readiness. We can remain faithful knowing at the appointed time, God’s promise will show up suddenly like the bridegroom in the story and we will not have time to re-prepare.

At that point, if we aren’t in position to receive, we may have to take a pass on what God had for us in that moment and prepare for another opportunity. Thankfully, by God’s grace he does provide us with other opportunities.

This is what I believe is going on right now in the body of Christ. Those that have been faithful (not perfect, but faithful) waiting on the Lord, being obedient all that they know how, trusting the Lord all that they know how, and looking crazy in their obedience; God is getting ready to suddenly bless those people with what they have been waiting on.

Singles that have waiting on the Lord for a spouse and were faithful in their singleness are about to get blessed. There are many relationships that God is getting ready to build this year in the kingdom of God for his glory.

Those that have been unfaithful, and have walked after the spirit of the world, even putting their mouths on some of those who remained faithful are going to see the Lord bless those that have been faithful, and they will be provoked to prepare and to begin to wait like the 5 foolish virgins who had to return again to get their oil and prepare for what was coming.

Those that were unfaithful are going to willingly take a pass because they know within themselves they are not ready. They will began to prepare, and wait for another opportunity when they are indeed ready, and God will get all of the glory.

It is not a vain thing to wait on the Lord! We can remain faithful in our waiting with full assurance that God will bring his word to pass that he has promised! God is good!

In my new book, “The Single Christian Woman’s Guide”, I briefly discuss how the kingdom works differently than the kingdom of this world. In God’s kingdom, once we have been faithful where we are at, we then become promoted to the next level. What does this tell us? Obedience is key.

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” Matthew 25:23

The above is a spiritual principal that God has set in place in his kingdom for us to be faithful with what we have be given. Just because we are singles doesn’t mean that we do not have anything to be faithful over. Often, we may have assignments from God that married folk cannot handle due to our capacity.

I just recently got back in town from a certification training for my job where we have to keep our certifications current yearly to continue to provide the best service to our clients. Now, that I am back in town, I have come back to a slew of things that I have to complete such as paying bills, cleaning house, cooking for the week, and checking up on those in my family and friends network, as well as continuing my assignment with Intercession For A Generation, Holy Neck Swirl, and promotion of my book.

The things that singles are assigned to do doesn’t stop. Whatever our assignments from God, we have to remain faithful knowing that our faithfulness will garner us the skills needed to remain faithful in the next level that we will be promoted to by God.

What happens often to singles is we get distracted by what goes on around us. Who is dating who, who isn’t dating at all, and the culture becomes the definer of our lives instead of the assignment that God has entrusted to us. Obedience for singles is key and the lack thereof will surely set us back.

Being a good steward of singleness also requires trust. Trust is a big deal. God has to be able to trust us with what he has given us. A level of trust well attained to allows God to see that we are ready for the next level.

Being thankful in all things is fruit that we trust in God . In all things give thanks the word of God says. A person who is not thankful or content will consistently fell to realize the blessing in what she has. She will constantly try to change her place in life wasting lots of time being a bad example to others and herself.

She becomes stuck, and those who follow her become the same way. We should be so fulfilled in our intimate relationship with Christ, and secondly with what he has called us to do that we don’t even have time to be UN-thankful. The person who doesn’t have time to be UN-thankful will look up to see that her situation has suddenly changed for the better.

We don’t have to be experts as singles, but when we give our hearts to God fully, we will find ourselves faithful, trustworthy, thankful, and promoted to the next level.

For more encouragement for Single Christian Women consider signing up for the book launch event. Click the below picture to register.

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What up lovelies? As we know that wonderful day of Love is soon approaching where many will snuggle up with a boo, or at least wish they had someone to snuggle up with. Maybe, I am a weirdo because I just plain and simply don’t care about Valentines day right now as I am a single.
I am not imagining myself snuggling up with an imaginary boo-thing, but instead I am appreciating the love that I already have. Often times in our wishing and hoping for the future, we end up forgetting all about what we have, and becoming UN-thankful.

In all things give thanks for this is the will of God concerning us. 1 Thessalonians 5:8

At work today, I have been quietly communing with the Lord under my breathe singing, praying in the spirit, and feeling God’s presence. As I walked out on my lunch break today, I began to pray out loud getting into my car thanking God for the ability to feel his presence, and to know that he is real. There are so many out there who don’t even have that. We are so blessed as the children of God.
Not only am I blessed with the privilege to recognize and commune with God in his presence, but I am blessed to be in a position of wholeness where my worth as a single woman is not contingent upon a day, whether I get flowers or chocolate or a title of wife or girlfriend. My worth and worthiness of love is contingent upon the fact that it just is. I am just worthy of love because God made me that way, and he loves me for me.
Many of us are guilty of putting off or not appreciating the love that we already have due to wanting a romantic love. It is just as important to celebrate the love that we already have such as from of our parents, siblings, and friends as singles while waiting on romantic love.
In a world, where people put God off for the immediate attention of another to feel loved, desired, or sought after for a day, a few months, or however long some of these relationships last; It is best to reflect on and appreciate the love that we already have in Christ as the foundation and allow other loves in our life to grow off of that. Love founded on Christ is the love that will truly last, and that is the type of love that I want as a single and am willing to wait for. #Thankful 🙂

The safest place for a single is in intimacy with God. Intimacy with God through the Holy Spirit, his word and other believers who are after God’s heart.

I can recall the maturity that has taken place in me since I was younger. I am a Daddy’s girl. Meaning, I see God as my daddy. I see God as my covering, and my protection. There is a little girl in me that gets excited to go into my God’s presence knowing that he is there to listen to me, comfort me, and to be my confidant and friend. However there are times when the Lord will hide himself and it seems as if he is not there.

In those times, I don’t feel him like I used to. I used to sort of panic during those times. I would get discouraged and begin to open the door to other stuff. Stuff like unhealthy men being in my life. One time, I strait up told God that I was talking to a gentlemen because I did not feel him near.

Not only was I going through this, but I found that some of the girls that God had sent to me to mentor were going through the same thing. We would get caught up in relationships with men who weren’t worthy of us for a lack of intimacy with God. However, the Lord began to teach me.

He said to walk by faith in those times when I did not feel him near. Faith is the proof of what we believe God for; the evidence of things unseen. Faith requires action because faith without works is dead.

Now that I am older and more mature, I no longer look to other things or people to have that intimacy, that safe place, that satisfaction that I can only find in the Lord. Instead, I look to the Lord even more diligently through faith and taking steps of action.

Recently, my consistent prayer time with the Lord has not been the same. There has been a shift where it isn’t as easy for the Lord to take up in my prayer and just flow. Therefore, I have to do something different. I have to become even more consistent in seeking God as I walk by faith.

As an older adult, I take that as my invitation to seek God even more until I find him. Instead of just praying and reading at my regular prayer time, now I am praying at that prayer time plus an additional prayer time that includes laying before the Lord.

On top of that, I continue to pray small prayers through out the day such as God prepare me to hear you and follow you. Increase my hunger and thirst for you etc. If we are not intentional about intimacy with God, We will be intentional about intimacy with something or someone which often isn’t healthy.

Truly, the safest place for a single is in intimacy with God. Intimacy with God is the first relationship that we must become successful at or else the rest of our relationships will be a roller coaster of relationships that often end in a train wreck.

God hides himself to keep the relationship fresh, exciting, and new; not so that we can entertain ourselves with idols that cannot satisfy.

Truly you are a God who has been hiding himself, the God and Savior of Israel. All the makers of idols will be put to shame and disgraced; they will go off into disgrace together. But Israel will be saved by the Lord with an everlasting salvation;
you will never be put to shame or disgraced,to ages everlasting. Isaiah 45:15-17 (NIV)

We have covered a range of different topics in this “Dating Vs. Waiting” series. If you look back at the series, you will see that the constant thread throughout the whole blog series concentrates on an honest reflection of the intent of the heart and the question of whether we are seeking to please God or not in our potential love life.

The whole Dating vs. Waiting ideal, debate, or whatever you want to call it is not an ideal of rules and regulations, but an ideal that should make readers examine the intents and motives of their heart.

The word of God says that all things are lawful to us to do, but all things are not beneficial for us to do (1 Corinthians 10:23). The only way that we will know the difference is if we set our wills aside for the will of God. Are we dating to fill a void, just to fit in, because we don’t trust God, to satisfy our sinful nature, or are we seeking the will of God at the core?

Neither has this series been for people to look at it and pride themselves on doing everything right. We all fall short, and we all learn and grow from our short-comings, but the ideal is in the end to have a heart centered dead at Jesus Christ. Out of that heart, will come everything that we could have ever desired or needed because that is God’s word, and God’s word cannot come back void.

The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. Psalms 34:10 (NIV)

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all things will be added unto us. Matthew 6:33 (KJV)

Jesus corrected some religious people in the below scriptures who appeared to do everything right by the book, but inside their hearts were not toward the Lord:

“Are you still so dull?” Jesus asked them. 17 “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18 But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20 These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”

In the above scripture, Jesus answers the question of the Pharisees and teachers who asked Jesus why his disciples broke tradition and did not wash their hands before they ate. He further proved that he was not concerned about an outward show of adhering to strict rules, but he was more concerned about the posture of the heart. It is the posture of our hearts that cause us to make wrong choices in dating and cause us to become impatient in waiting. It is a heart posture that causes us to obey God during the hard times. Posturing our heart toward God in humility and intentionally  spending time with him is what gives us that heart that we need to thrive in Christ.

He wants our hearts to be all the way toward him. He wants to be the center of our worlds and to sit in the seat of our hearts. It is only then that we will truly be righteous and our ways will be easily directed because we are not depending on ourselves or our abilities, but on Christ. We won’t have to worry about getting off or trying to figure out what to do because the Holy Spirit will teach us and we will be open enough to hear him.

The more that we lean in, trust in, rely on, and depend on Christ as singles and married, the easier and more effortless it will become for us to do what is right. At that point, we may naturally do what is right without even noticing it because we are just that close to God. God’s will is that we know him intimately, and closely, to the point of loving him. And the scripture says that if we love him; we will then keep his commandments.

If we are careful to listen to him, and follow him, we will not have a problem figuring out what to do next, who to marry, who to court, and who to leave alone. Everything that we need is in him alone. That is the sum total of the, “Dating vs. Waiting” series if you did not get anything else out of it.

It is also the sum total of Intercession For A Generation, which has as it’s foundation, “To Teach A Generation the Heart of God and the Way of the Lord.” If the Lord places it on your heart to refrain from dating for a season, then do it. If God calls you into a season where he calls you to court, then do that. Allow the Lord to deal with your heart in order to do the things that line up with his own will for you. We are not our own. We have been bought with a price purchased by the precious blood of Christ Jesus.

Let’s not seek to do the norms of the culture that we live in, but the norms of the kingdom of God centering our lives, hearts, souls, and decisions around our intimate relationship with Jesus Christ—allowing God to turn the compass of our hearts wherever he desires for it to go.

Below are some things that the interviewees have learned thus far in their dating experience:

Waiting looks like keeping an open communication with God regarding all things:
It requires a respect that comes from the humility toward God realizing that we cannot handle everything on our own and that is why we seek God. In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. Psalms 10:4 (NIV)

The person who doesn’t seek God because of their pride is consistently brought low. As much as a person is prideful, that is the same extent to which that person will be brought low.

Waiting looks like obedience:
Obedience is simply submission. Submitting to the will of God, wisdom of God, and instruction of God which is one of the most important parts of waiting. Without obedience all of the open communication between God and the individual waiting just becomes a religious function instead of a respectful, trustworthy and committed relationship between God and the person who is waiting. God wants our obedience rather than our religious sacrifice. He wants to know that we trust him enough to follow what he is showing us even when it gets hard or we do not understand.

Waiting looks like learning:
Nobody is born doing everything right. We actually have to learn to do things in a manner that is pleasing to God and beneficial for ourselves. That means there will be some bumps, bruises, and mistakes along the way of waiting, but know that we are God’s beloved through it all. God’s love does not change toward us. He still loves us just as much as when he first decided to give up his son. God loving us is a permanent decision and because of that, we can learn with grace.

Waiting is being open to appropriate and godly fellowship of both the same sex and the opposite sex:
The Bible says that a brother was born for the day of adversity. That means that there is going to be some ease, some mending, some safety, and some solace in the fellowship of brethren especially godly brothers and sisters in Christ. Brothers and sisters in Christ not only have a natural bond, but a spiritual bond in Jesus Christ whereby if the bro or sis is true, there are certain standards of expectation that they can be held to.

Unfortunately, there has been a sort of rift in the body of Christ where several single brothers and sisters have become isolated from one another. Maybe, this has been in an effort to keep purity, but a lot of singles suffer from this especially women. Because a lot of women do not have examples of godly mature men their age, they falter in their faith toward God and begin to compromise. They feel they have no choice. In seasons, where godly men appear to be scarce we have to walk by faith as we ask God to bring godly examples into our lives.

In godly fellowship with men and women we sharpen our gifts and glean from one another. The fellowship found in that makes the wait easier.

Waiting is honesty and not playing with brothers and sisters in Christ’s emotions.
It is not taking advantage of every opportunity to be around someone of the opposite sex to try to get booed up. It requires a level of responsibility and integrity. It is walking, and growing together and whatever naturally develops from that will develop whether friendships, marriages, correction, or growth.

Waiting looks like growing, maturing, and developing:
After a few bumps, bruises, and taking of the joys and pains involved with waiting, we should start to notice a difference. We should notice that we have begun to change. We are no longer willing to compromise with suitors unworthy of us. We began to value our time a little bit more. We slowly believe that trust in God is the only thing that we have. Our faith begins to grow as we are being made in the wait.

Waiting is carrying your cross:
Our cross is our purpose that God shapes us for. Our cross is the purpose that God ordained for us before the foundation of the world. Everyone’s cross does not look the same, but everyone gets a cross in life to bear. The good thing about bearing our cross however is that there is honor on the other side. Jesus, our #1 example bore his cross and was exalted far above all powers and principalities just from the obedience of bearing his cross. If your cross lasts for 10 years, 15 years, 20, 30, or 40 years, it doesn’t matter. Just as long as you bear the cross assigned to you, believe me there is grace assigned to you right along with that cross from God himself. Learn to find the joy of intimacy with Christ in bearing your cross.

Waiting looks like rejection, loneliness, and being crazy because so few people decide to wait:
Obedience to God in waiting is often misjudged. People who wait in obedience to God are looked at as being extreme or having something wrong with them, but if all of the above are practiced then that is not the case at all. Often, people who are obedient in waiting have to be the bigger person when they are put down, misjudged, and misunderstood. In waiting, we need to remember that God also sees the shame that we suffer because others may not understand, and when we are rewarded for bearing that shame, we will forget all about it. Like Jesus again, our # 1 example, who despised the shame that he had to endure for the reward of bearing his cross.

Hebrews 12:2 – fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Waiting is becoming aware of you:
As we develop spiritually, and emotionally no longer depending on others to feel valued, but looking to Christ; We become more confident and assured of ourselves, which causes us to walk out our gifts and passions. Those who wait wisely are not your average Janes/Joes, but they are being made into mature women unstoppable. Waiting is not something bad, but waiting is a gift by God himself. Waiting doesn’t mean being inactive. It just means being active with the things that concern God’s heart above our own. Waiting looks like someone who has been well prepared for God’s best.

  Waiting is being hopeful of the future that God has for us.

Please watch an interview of what Gabrielle and Breck’s wait looked like and also read a blog on Gabrielle’s wait at the link below:
  http://www.blogmagazine.org/2012/05/saving-the-best-her-first-and-last/
Gabby & Breck’s personal website where they share their love story: http://breckandgabrielle.us/