Why the Community Suffers When Mature Fathers Are Silent

We need our men, in particularly our fathers. They are the ones who provide structure, identity, fear, and reverence for society—showing that actions have consequences. Those of us who have grown up in households with our fathers know what I mean. When your mom said, “I’m going to tell your father, “The fear of God came over you. All fathers have something important to offer even in their process’ of maturation.

Mom could give us a whipping, but it was nothing like the discipline of our father. This was acceptable as our men hold a position of authority as the head of the household keeping the household in order. This same structure of discipline was missing in King David’s household. Even though, he was a man of war along with his brothers; the bible is silent on David or Shimeah, David’s brother providing discipline or correction to their children which led to confusion and an early death for two of the sons of David’s household.

You know the story of Amnon and Tamar. Amnon loved Tamar but lacked the wisdom of a father in how to properly pursue the woman he loved. Thus, he experimented on her with perverted wisdom from his cousin. The result was the rape of his half-sister, which it was normal to marry half-sisters in those days.

David did not see this rape coming. So, he was inactive in protecting his virgin daughter. She had to rip off her virgin garments and take her place among the unmarried women who were no longer virgins. This had an effect on her worth as the community she lived in placed a heavy value on virgin women. So much so, that a man could return his wife after consummation if he suspected she was not a virgin.

Tamar needed reassurance. Amnon needed correction, punishment and discipline, and instruction from his father David. His deceitful cousin needed direction badly from his father Shimei. The silence of their fathers still spoke causing more confusion. There is a proverb that says a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.

The other side of that says the rod of correction and reproof brings wisdom. A person doesn’t have to be a literal child but immature in areas where wisdom and correction are needed. When the oversight of a wise parent isn’t there such as a father or mother—the child is left to his/her immature devices making hurtful and many times unnecessary mistakes.  This is true of the stats on fatherless children.

Absalom is the second son who was affected by the silence of his father and uncle. He decided to lean to his own devices taking justice into his own hands. He murdered his half-brother Amnon. His next feat was to raise his hand against his father. He must have felt he could rule with justice greater than his father. This led to his early death. We all know David was a man after God’s own heart full of wisdom and favor. How did that wisdom not get passed down to his sons?

Aside from his indiscretion in seeking a married woman and the murder of her husband, he was very qualified to intervene showing justice and providing instruction to his sons. Whatever it is occupying the time of our men, our fathers—please seek to place instructing your sons and maybe additional sons at the highest priority. If men do not, just like David’s family suffered rape and two unnecessary early deaths—our communities will experience the same. The more men are in the position the better chance we have to form healthy marriages that lead to healthy families and healthy communities.

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Manhood Series Part IV: What Does it Mean to Be the Head?

What Does it Mean for a Man to be the Head?

This article is a quick snapshot of an interview with Author, Speaker, Blogger, and Certified Relationship Coach Derek Q. Sanders. The interview in its entirety is in a link below. Also, more information can be found on his books, “Outdated Rethinking how Men Date Women and Ladies’ Little Black Book” on his website at www.derekqsanders.com.

Derek noted a problem that women have with submission is that the woman’s part is normally taught, but the man’s responsibility is not covered. He brings out the point that a man does not have a right to expect a woman to submit to him who isn’t married to him.

Headship means a man is responsible. A man is responsible for making sure things are as they should be. For example, in the garden of Eden when both the man and woman fell, God did not ask Eve where she was. He asked Adam where he was because the man is primarily responsible for the direction of his household. He has to make sure that everything is as it should be whether things are going good or bad. It does not mean that the woman is a slave or has no say-so, but simply the man holds the primary responsibility.

When Asked how Can a Man Prepare Himself for Such A Great Responsibility
Men should be accountable to other great men. It is not a woman’s responsibility to train a man into being a man. The only woman that may teach a man that is his mother. Men should seek out other men who can provide them with godly counsel. Women make excuses for men who aren’t yet fit to lead, but that does not change the fact that he is unfit.

A woman should leave that brotha alone until he grows into a responsible man. Women say that they are nurturers and because of that, they nurture adult men. Men do not need to be nurtured; they need to be supported.

The time that a man decides he wants to be in a relationship with a woman; he becomes responsible to learn how to be a man whether he received this from his father or not. He will have to be intentional about seeking this out.

What would you say to the brothas who have the idea that preparing for marriage is all about getting money, a house, and a car and being prepared to order a woman around?

First, only a certain amount of men have that mindset. Furthermore, only a certain type of a man deserves the title of a man. These are men who have reached a certain standard. Other men are males. Men who have this mindset of thinking are simply males and not men yet.

What does it actually look like for a man to cover a woman?
That would simply come under headship. It falls under just being a man. As a man, it should be innate within men to protect a woman. Men have to treat women delicately because women are the weaker vessel. Within this culture, we’ve gotten so far away from the distinction of what defines a man. There are crazy ideas of what a man is on television and social media and such.

To Misconceptions of Manhood
Many men when asked the question, “when did you become a man” respond by saying things like when they received their first job, or when they had sex. They see manhood as a rite of passage earned by sex with a woman or driving a car. Because many men have not been taught; they equate their manhood with using a woman for sex or conquering her for sex.
Because of this, many men feel as though if they can get stuff from a woman, sex, food, cleaning then they are a man. Many women agree with this idea of manhood and will judge a good guy harshly.

He gave an example of a brotha who was operating out of a similar mindset until he began attending a Bible study that focused on Biblical manhood. Afterward, the brotha did a total 180. He shared with Derek that he was operating out of the mindset of misconceptions because that was the only knowledge he had at the time.

Manhood Series Part III: Common Misconceptions of Manhood & Being The Head

Biblically speaking, it is obvious that the man is to be the head of his household once married, but what does that actually mean? I interviewed a man and his interview will be coming up next week to share just what being the head means Biblically. In the meantime, I will respond to some of the common misconceptions about being a man or being the head as it relates to men addressing women.

Control
Because many men aren’t trained on how to be the head, control seems to be a default misconception for many men.  Control is the idea that women need to be put in their place, or forced to submit instead of being drawn into submission through love and respect.

A woman is wooed by love and kindness. This cannot be superficial. It has to be real. Real love requires a mutual respect. There cannot be a mindset of control or dominance over her. The Bible is clear that both man and woman together are to have dominion over the earth.

Husbands and wives are supposed to submit to one another.
This mutual submission implies a mutual respect that sets the tone for the woman to submit to the man. Mutual respect says I value your opinion, wisdom, insight, and all that you have to offer. Mutual respect says I respect you as a whole person––that is mind, emotions, and will, not just for the physical features.

When a man loves a woman wholly meaning not just to be a trophy to make him look good according to the flesh, but for all that she brings to the table, that woman will open up and share everything she has with that man. She will at that point willingly submit because she is impressed by the brotha’s genuineness to love her instead of attempt to use her and discard her.

Remember that the man is the one who sets the structure for how the relationship will go. The woman responds to it. In response to God’s love, we were drawn to God through Christ. In response to God’s love for us, we submit our bodies to God a living sacrifice exclusive and acceptable unto God. Isn’t this what you want as a man? That is the example that Jesus set for himself and his bride, the church. A man in interacting with his woman should follow the same example.

If you have to manipulate and control a woman into wanting to be with you or doing what you say; you set the tone for her to respond just as manipulative and controlling as you have been.

The Man’s Ability to Make Money
I covered this one in another blog series. It is important for a man to provide for his family, and I am not diminishing that role, but simply providing financially only is not enough. Being a man means to be responsible for. That means that the man will be held responsible for his household. The man will have to not only provide financially for his family, but he will need to provide spiritual guidance, wisdom, direction, and in short be there for his household. This requires communication, understanding, and consistent growth. There has to be a humility in a man to continue to learn and grow so that he is able to handle all of the responsibility given to him as a man.

Worshipping the man above God
Some men expect women to give up their devotion to God, and replace that with devotion only to him as the man. Some men seem to think that God should hold a temporary place of affection in a woman’s heart until he shows up. Yes, even men who label themselves Christian and attend church consistently hold this view.

Please, know that the opposite of this view is not imbalance. Keeping God first in our lives does not mean that we will be having prayer instead of fixing breakfast for our hungry family, or running to conferences while our houses are in disarray or shouting instead of making love to our husbands. Keeping God first is a heart condition. It is a character trait and a way of life.

It simply means not intentionally going against the commands of God. This actually works to the benefit of a man of God because a woman who does this has good character and will most likely be loyal. When a woman relinquishes her identity in Christ to become whatever her new god, the man says, that is a dangerous situation. Any woman who allows this is not whole. A person who isn’t whole can become capable of nearly any type of behavior. Prepare for problems if this is your relationship.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship. – Romans 12:1 (Here, we as the body of Christ, respond to God’s mercy and love).

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” – Genesis 1:26

Manhood Series Part II: Ignoring Your Weakness While Only Focusing on Your Strength

Many men overcompensate their time and investment in their strengths while simply ignoring their weaknesses. This is done because many men feel vulnerable when it comes to dealing with their weaknesses. It makes him feel less of a man. For example, if a man never learned how to cover a woman emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, he will leave her open for attack, but he will cover her in the area where he feels strong which often is the area of providing money.

Of course, when a man ignores his weakness in this way it drives a wedge between himself, his wife, and children if he has kids. This is unhealthy and breaks up many would be healthy marriages. How can a man overcome these things?

Learn to lean. 
A man will have to have a safe place where he can let his guard down and put off the, “I’m impressing a woman man mask” to become strong as a man, and be covered himself. This is the blessing of men fellowshipping with other godly men. They can sharpen one another without judgment and feeling as though they have to impress someone. The reality is men will need to learn to lean.

They will have to lean into God through that intimate relationship with God, and they will have to learn to lean into their brothers and fathers in Christ. They will have to learn to lean into a willingness to be corrected, and a personal commitment not to stay in the same place, but to grow. This is what will help a man with his weaknesses not ignoring them. If a man ignores his weakness, it will only get worse, and he is the head so others are looking to him to lead. A leader has to always be willing to expand and grow so as not to cause those who follow him to become stuck and stagnant.

Leaning sometimes requires vulnerability. 
Men are expected to be strong. There is a greater expectation placed on men for knowledge, wisdom, and support and less of a grace margin for error. Because of the pressure and pride in some cases,  many men have learned to stay locked up not sharing pertinent information with others who can help them. This hard exterior that lets no one in will have to be broken. Pray that God leads you to those male friends whom you can trust. Seek out godly men such as The Man Cave Network. This is a network through Cornelius Lindsey where there are chapters all across the country to encourage men. Also, see if there are local churches with men ministries. Click get connected to sign up for a chapter.

As a man learns to be strong in his areas of weakness, his wife’s love and respect level will shoot through the roof if he does have a good woman. She will naturally become more attracted to him, and the relationship will be stronger. Men of God never underestimate the power you have as a man to build, cover, and protect your family. The truth is when you cover yourself by submitting to godly authority, you cover your family. Your family will always be a reflection of you because you are the head. You were built to shape and mold those around you into a reflection of you. Use that power wisely.

Manhood Series Part I: Her Head not her God

Just like a woman of God compromises by going with a man who does not know his identity in Christ and she ends up having to put up with more than God intended because of it;  Men do the same thing with women who lack identity in Christ.

Many men find a physically attractive woman, and this solidifies them in the idea of trying to clean the woman up by introducing her to Christ, church, and submission.

These men, like many women, begin to disciple these women. In rare cases, it may work out, but in many cases, it will not. The woman may place the guy on a pedal stool because if he is genuinely saved, he is different than any other man she has been with.

Consequently, as soon as she gets close and sees the man is simply just a man, she may resort back to her common behavior for solving problems which may be carnal and divisive in nature; instead of likewise covering her man with respect, forgiveness, honor, mutual affection, and prayer.

The truth of the matter is when a man is looking for a wife, he should use wisdom and do like Jesus by only choosing to attempt to prune a woman who is already bringing forth fruit in her life.

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. – John 15:2

When the husbandman (Jesus) sees us bringing forth fruit then he selects us to be pruned to bring forth more fruit. The ones who don’t bring forth any fruit the husbandman discards by burning in the fire. In other words, he pays it no mind as if it doesn’t exist. He refuses to waste time with it. He invests in that which shows it is worth the investment.

Why do men of God try to be the hero to someone who doesn’t want to be saved? Could it be that some men of God have an issue within themselves? Could it be that some men do not believe they are worth more?

I will be honest. When I tried to make it work with a guy who wasn’t on my level, it was partly because I did not believe I deserved more. The only men who had come to pursue me were men who weren’t on my level, and so I judged my worth falsely by how others saw me instead of how God saw me.

I only share that because of  Christian men and women go through the same things. We just don’t discuss it and because of that we suffer trying to figure these things out on our own. We don’t have to do that. We can love one another and cover one another while standing in God’s truth together.

The truth is God has his best for both men and women. We should expect an inheritance from God not because we’ve been good, done everything wrong or right, but simply because we are sons and daughters of God. Sons and daughters of the king always get the best because through the kingdom they have become the best. The best is what Jesus Christ, the King of Kings has done for us.

So, I encourage my brothers to know your worth and stand boldly in it as men of God not settling or expending yourself on women who do not know how to properly value you. You weren’t made to be drained in attempting to give a woman an identity that she can only get from God. You can be a light, but protect your heart and save it for a woman of God who will value you as her head and assist you in holding down the home together.

She will know how to hold her tongue at times and when to speak up because she has already been trained by the Holy Spirit and wise counsel. She will know how to build up her man and not tear him down. She will know how to apply wisdom to make the money last in the home because she already practices these things with God.

Don’t be in a rush, but allow God to make you into a solid man of God who loves Jesus and depends on him. This will prevent you from having to always be on–work for a woman’s approval impressing her with money, and vain things. She will love you for you and be willing to build with you instead of wear you out. This is what you could have if you allow yourself to be built enough by God to choose wisely.

3 Lessons to Take Away From Fences Pt. 3: Celebrating and Honoring Our Fathers…

Celebrating and Honoring Our Fathers is Necessary:

After making up our minds to forgive our fathers of their shortcomings and deciding to honor them, it becomes easier to honor them when we look for the good in them. There was definitely good in Troy as there is good in most all men.
Troy tried to teach both his sons, Cory and Lyons the importance of hard work. He encouraged Cory to prioritize money based on needs versus wants first. He encouraged the importance of accepting the responsibility to take care of one’s family to Cory. He loved him in the best way that he knew how. He felt that he prepared him for the world in the best way that he knew how.

He encouraged his other son Lyons not to just focus on the passion of music, but to work also, so he would not have to borrow and beg while pursuing music. He was looked at as being harsh to Lyons for being reluctant to loan him money, but that is what fathers do. Fathers give hard lessons to attempt to make their sons men. These were all good qualities that Troy had. When we focus on our father’s good qualities like those of Troy, it makes it easier to celebrate and honor our fathers.

If for nothing else, we should honor them for the fact that they stayed in our lives to do what it is that they knew to do. In most cases, what many men have known to do is to provide. If nothing else, a man often always knows about that responsibility, and there are many men out there who do it well.
Instead of dishonoring our fathers, we should be sure to cherish them, talk with them, build relationship whenever possible even through times of hurtful forgiveness. Because like Troy, one day he isn’t going to be there, and we will wish we had of honored him while we had the chance. Our fathers our needed, and worthy of love and respect even through their imperfections.

3 Lessons to Take Away From Fences Pt.2: Our Father’s Imperfections…

OUR FATHER’S IMPERFECTIONS DO NOT GIVE US LEISURE TO DISHONOR HIM:

So, Troy made some poor choices. He had an affair, and a child outside of his marriage. He held his son back from a possibly great opportunity. He was a bit stubborn not realizing that the world around him was changing, and he needed not be so closed minded.

Who doesn’t know a Black father like that to some degree. Those actions still do not qualify us as children to dishonor our fathers. The Bible is clear that we are to honor both our fathers and mothers so our days will be long on the earth (Exodus 20:12). Scripture does not tell us to honor our parents if they are perfect. It doesn’t say if your parents do no wrong honor them. It simply says to honor them.

Honoring our parents is important as children because we are going to be the ones to see the majority of their mistakes due to the close proximity of living space. God knew this. He knew that seeing our parents especially our father’s faults would tempt us to look at him in a lesser or demeaning way, and God says not so.

It is God’s will that we are so whole in Christ that we began to learn through our relationships with our imperfect parents how to forgive and love Biblically like Christ. Christ sees our imperfections and still makes the choice to love us. Our homes our actually our first, and best training grounds to being true and successful believers. If we can get through our homes, we can get through anything. Seeing our parents imperfections and still deciding to love and forgive them not only ministers to our parents, but it in turn ministers to us.

On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:20-21


I am speaking from experience in dealing with my father who is a good man just imperfect like everyone else. When my brothers and I, choose to continue to honor him in the face of dishonor or faults and frailties exposed, we are actually making a positive impact on him while freeing ourselves from the bondage of un-forgiveness, anger, bitterness, and rage.

This has proved to bring conviction in my father’s heart encouraging him to change and reconsider some of his stubborn ways just like the scripture says above. We will bring coals over his head. I believe the metaphor, “to heap burning coals on his head”, means to temper a situation that could be out of control. Similar to how a fire can get out of control, but coals are something that are used to temper fire, electricity, and things that can cause an explosion outside of one’s control turning out bad.

On the contrary, when we choose to honor our parents, we take an otherwise combustible situation and turn it around so that God can use it for his good. You never know if God will use your obedience in honoring your father to minister to your father. We have to remember that they have issues from their childhood also. Much like Troy, who in the film was on his own since the young age of 14 years old.

3 Lessons to Take Away From Fences Pt. 1: We Have a Choice…

We Have a Choice in How We Turn Out Despite How Our Fathers Are:

I love the film Fences because it just makes us appreciate our fathers even more despite imperfections they may have. Father’s are held to a higher standard of accountability, and face more crucial scrutiny than others because of the responsibility that comes with the role.
 
The role of a  Father’s impact is undeniable in the home as clearly seen in Troy’s character. His decisions affected the temperament of the whole household and in a way served as a roadmap as to where his children would end up.
 
Troy, in the film, was like many father’s who sought to control the outcome of his son’s life. He attempted to protect Cory from the racial discrimination he felt he had experienced in his days of playing ball by preventing his son from an opportunity to be observed by a sports recruiter, and encouraging his son only to work. This along with the infidelity embittered his son Cory. The first lesson that we should take away from this is that despite the negative things that our father’s may have done in our eyes; we still have a choice as children as to how we will allow it to affect our futures.

We do not have to settle under the lie that bad choices have to be continued, and thus undermine the future of a child due to poor choices of a father. One great thing about Troy is that he was there, and he offered what he felt was his best. There are worst situations between fathers and their sons and daughters. Some situations are the lack of a father’s presence, verbal and physical abuse, and inability to affirm his love toward his children.

Despite what negative or positive influences we receive or do not receive from our fathers we have a choice as to where we will end up. I say this all the time and will not stop. Our parents give us what they can, and what they cannot, God stands in and takes responsibility for. God makes sure that we all have a chance at a positive future
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. – Psalms 27:10

I am a personal witness to the above scripture. Areas where my parents did not have the wherewithal to develop or protect me in, God has placed others in my life intentionally to show me that there is another way, and no I don’t have to be stuck with what I am familiar with. I have a choice. Not only did God send examples to represent him, but he also showed himself as a father in my life personally. This does not undermine our natural father or his role, but it serves in the child getting a more balanced and fair chance due to exposure to something more than what the natural father could bring.

Cheers to the Guys who Make Us Smile

In a time where the disappointment for many women is so real, and we often wonder are there any good godly brothers. Just when we want to close up our hearts, and give up on all hope; then a brother comes along and makes us smile reminding us of why we had the dream for real love in the first place. When many women forget their worth for relying on unreliable men instead of looking to God for our worth, It certainly doesn’t hurt to run into some encouragement from some valuable men who aren’t afraid to be men.

With no hidden motive just love and grace. What is this? I didn’t know it exists. It makes a sister want to be all poetic and what not when I see men of God taking their place.

These men don’t take it as asking too much to do the things that men are expected to do. Instead they rise to the challenge because inside they know that God made them a man. When a man is a gentlemen protecting a woman, communicating with her, and reminding her of her worth, it allows a woman to feel safe.

In the company of a God fearing and respectable man, a woman has the freedom to be herself soft, gentle, covered, celebrated, and cherished. It just makes a woman smile. Even if she isn’t interested in a brother; she will still hold this type of a man in high respect. Maybe, even change her tune to consider him for her future.

This type of man realizes that he isn’t perfect, yet still puts his best foot forward to attempt to please God and the women in his life. Whether the women in his life are sisters at church, work, friends, or his love interest. The woman who walks beside this man always feels safe and secure.

She knows that he is there to communicate words of wisdom, with no ill or selfish intention. He listens to her and considers her opinion valuable. He prays for her and does not call her out of her name. He sets aside his physical needs for sex as a single man to respect the value of getting to know his love interest in other ways beside the physical. He sets specific boundaries for friendship or relationship so that purity would be priority and God would be pleased.

He knows how to pray. He smiles, and does simple things like carry things for her, pumps her gas, even though he does not have to. He does it because he wants to. He is a real man who is not afraid to defy the popular culture of a man. He doesn’t toy with a woman’s emotions, but holds her heart in high esteem as he does all that is in his power to respect her heart and guard it.

This type of a man is not intimidated by a woman being her best because he knows that when she is her best she makes him look good.

Women were made to be soft, and yet strong, but often women have been forced to be strong in areas that we were not made to be strong such as being the sole provider of the home, spiritual leader, and her very own security and protection. This has caused many women to become hard and build up resentment toward men, but the right type of a man loves that resentment all away, and forces a woman to come to grips that there are actually really good men out here in this world.

A man has the power to soften a woman allowing her natural womanly abilities to flow and he also has the power to harden a woman leading her to produce a shell that protects her from men like him.

Toasts up to the men using their power wisely.

Standing in Agreement With our Brothers

This week Lamar Odom was found unconscious according to news reports in a brothel (more at link). According to a pastor that I follow on you tube, Lamar had visited his church at one point in time. Thankfully, Lamar Odom is back conscious and seems to be okay. However, one thing I don’t like is when men try to get to God and do the right thing, and the next thing you know they end up under attack from the enemy.

Lamar’s situation points to the behavior and struggle of so many brothers in the body of Christ, who find themselves struggling with secret sin. Sin that is hard to get out of—pornography, masturbation, whoredom, anger, drunkenness.

The reaction that Satan would love for women of God to have toward these men is to heck with them, but God does not write them off. The reality is that we all struggle or have struggled with something, and we have had those times where we needed someone to stand with us and say you can make it. You can overcome your sin. You can overcome your struggle.

The power of God is enough to break the power of any sin in one’s life. We as women of God have the authority to stand with these men in the spirit and declare the word of God over them.

Ironically, two weeks ago. I received similar news regarding a male family member in my life. He was also found unconscious, and ended up in the hospital. This was not the first time this had happened. Thankfully, this person is okay and his life is back to normal, but it is a clear sign of a struggle that is going on and needs to be remedied.

A scripture that God has given me to pray over my relative:

Psalms 18:34 – He teaches my hands to war, so that a bow of steel is broken by my arms.

In other words, the Lord is the one who teaches us how to overcome sin. The above scripture describes a bow of steel which steel is something hard to break, overcome, and deal with similar to secret sin that some men and women of God deal with. Bow means to come under and to bring under submission to.

It is not God’s will for us to be under submission or in bondage to hard sins, addictions, drunkenness, masturbation, fornication, or any sin for that matter. Jesus Christ came to break the power of sin, and if we hold on to God long enough we can see the power of God manifest in our lives to break those hard things.

We have to allow our confession to line up with the will of God for our lives until we see deliverance manifest. There must also be a breaking of the will where the desire to be free is stronger than the desire to enjoy the pleasure of sin.

Two things about King David who wrote the above scripture:

1.) King David is characterized as being a man after God’s own heart.

This means that even though King David was not perfect, he had it in him to love God and to seek to please God above all else even sin. That means that when God came to him to expose sin, he determined himself to humble himself enough to get it right.

2.) King David was characterized as a great fighter or warrior. There has to be a willingness and a determination in the one who is battling a secret sin or a hard sin to be willing to fight for your inheritance in Christ and the things that he has promised. God has promised us that we should no longer be in subjection to sin, but to Christ.

Lastly, Once God breaks us free we have to be determined not to go back. Putting up boundaries to avoid the temptations of sin are good aids in not going back to sin once free.

Satan would love to destroy the men of God and to keep them out of their position of authority and submission to Christ. Satan knows that if both men and women get together on one accord under Christ then it’s over. Therefore, he fights the men of God tremendously. Women of God have been so distracted with our pain, bitterness, selfishness, and hurt, that we have not been able to see the bigger picture. We are not in a war with men, but with Satan. Both men and women’s ally is the Lord. It is time out for allowing ourselves to be distracted. We need to get in the Spirit and pray.

As a woman of God who is surrounded by mostly men in my family, and who has watched the men in my life go through various instances where God has given me what to pray for and bought what I prayed for to pass before my eyes; I am a witness of what God can do when the women of God stand with the men around them and pray for strongholds to be broken and to come down.

We should not flirt with men outside of their God-ordained position, but keep the proper distance and pray. Nobody else may even know what we are praying for, but the word says what we pray in secret, the Lord will reward us openly. Let’s stand not in compromise with men, but in prayer as women of God submitted to Christ and declaring God’s word until yolks are destroyed and broken in the lives of our men.

Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace. Romans 6:12-14

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

Please, be encouraged by this throwback song from Json & This’l entitled, “Fight”. This song is about fighting your flesh and learning to walk in the Spirit: